new conspiricy:::: global warming is a MYTH....of course the summers seem hotter and the winters seem colder because you are taking notice of them.....if you dont notice them, its yr normal round the year wheather system just happening.

Global warming is happening because we're all using too much ice. The ice melts and since there's less ice, the world gets warmer.

It happens because of the heat from cigarettes and because certain Ozzies export the heat from the Outback there to the restaurant chain in America, where Ozzie wannabe's pretend they're wallabees, and eat what they think is Ozzie food.

It's also happening because of too much hot air pumped into the atmosphere during election season (2 years long).

I would like to know where all the Honey Bees are going Could someone be stealing all our precious bees for their own greedy lust for liquid gold....? have the bees organized and become Killer Bees in self defense.... ? has someone been beetraying our trusting natures.?  Bee ye men or bee ye alien.? Or bee our bees alien.?  Nope, I can't beelieve that.  Our bees bee not alien, though one could find a beehive alienating. Of thizzzz I have no doubt.

Drinking Coke ain't the sin... the sin is in deliberately staring at the dynamic ribbon on a hot day in March when the moon is full and Aquarius is in the second phase of the third trilogy signifying the cataclysmic repercussions of the Puppeteeer's orchestrations to mesmereise the masses via complex subliminal mind controls.

And the Sun never sweats.

Except the melted yellow snow!  Although it has not been widely reported, Sarah Palin was often 'caught short' while out moose hunting, and therefore it is not recommended to drink melted yellow snow (or slurp down yellow snow slushies) because the Puppeteer has been spiking her food and drink with stupid pills for years, and her pee is known to contain mind bending elements which can change one into a blithering and barely coherent idiot in seconds.

starkers...avoid the use of the P word. It activates mindless R bots that will post you into oblivion and neutralize your usefulness to the cause.

which pill do you choose? the red one or the blue one?

No it's NOT!  You obviously haven't been in Goodna recently!  There is a Goodna resident (whom I will not name to protect the innocent) who contributes daily to global warming with inordinate amounts of curried cabbage generated methane. Now while this may not immediately affect the surrounding areas, it does eventually cause warming.  As we all know, hot air rises... well it's the same with curried cabbage generated methane, and what happens is that it rises into the upper atmosphere until it cools enough to earth, something like acid rain and reheating as it descends.  Now as the Earth rotates one full turn every 24 hours, and we all share the same atmosphere, we all will experience some warming and changes to normal weather patterns.

Now I know some people will blame me for this, but it is NOT entirely my fault...doing.  You see, the Puppeteer knew that I liked curried cabbage (which was perfectly safe before), and he manipulated that to serve his own evil purposes by adding an ingredient which exacerbates methane production, and thus contributes to atmospheric warming.  He got the idea while on holiday in NZ and observing the sheep and noticing the air immediately around them was slightly warmer, and thus his conspiracy to bring down Oz with a drought was hatched.

Yeah, I know: 'Why don't you simply give up curried cabbage?"  Look, it's not that I haven't tried and tried... and tried!  Thing is, the Puppeteer also added a highly addictive ingredient (something like nicotine) and I can't give it up!  I must have my curried cabbage, despite the knowledge of what it is doing to the planet.  I suppose that if we could locate the Puppeteer, discover what he did to tamper with my fav dish, untamper it and restore it to its former glory, we can save mankind... life as we know it.

And Sarah Palin melting huge tracts of it by babbling huge volumes of hot air while giving political speeches as Alaskan Governor.

'Ere, I'll have you know that our outback heat is top quality and is exported to the US because your heat is colder and not as good as ours... nor is it contaminated with 2 years of political hot air which has degenerative properties that causes temporary lunacy and tempers to flare.  Nope, don't think I could live in America!  As it is, with the 2 or 3 months of electioneering we have to tolerate here, I've already got teeth marks in the toilet door cos it gave me the shits and I got a sore ring.

Now you've really hit on something big here!  I've been wondering the exact same thing myself... where have all our bees gone! Like last Summer they were everywhere, buzzing around the clover and collecting the ingredients to manufacture the liquid gold, and this year there's hardly any and the price of honey has soared.  I blame the Puppeteer! It's obviously a conspiracy to have us spend more in the supermarket so we don't have enough money left to buy and odd luxury now and then.... like gum that doesn't yank out yer dentures, and the like.

Oh, and our bees are definitely not alien!  Politicians, probably... but not bees, they're certainly terrestial.  However, the confounded Puppeteer may be exporting them to another planet, in which case, they'd be alien where ever they'd been sent.

Not to worry, mate, I'm safe!  I can use the P word with immunity because the curried cabbage keeps the R bots away. Ironic, isn't it, the very thing the Puppeteer is using to manipulate the World's weather patterns is also the thing that prevents his R bots from posing a threat to me.  Hehe, that's a sign of weakness in his grand scheme of things, so there is yet hope that we may defeat him... just gotta find the bastard and nueter him so's he can't sff anything else up.

I've already taken the yellow one (which probably explains it) and I'm feeling all warm and gooey inside... which along with the 'black dot' is a great defence mechanism against the Puppeteers mind control techniques... can't control what I presently do not have.

 that's why you're the Cap'n!

We ship Cap'n Starkers to the tip of Russia and from there his favorite governor type person can of course see him.  Of course in doing so there will be international incidents where lipstick, moose hunting and PTA meetings are involved.  Woe be to the Cap'n.

Can't do that!!!  The Russians wouldn't let me anywhere near there. Apart from the fact that it's well documented that I'm not a fan of Sarah Palin, and would likely pull a trypical schoolboy type prank on her from across the border, thus creating an international incident requiring UN mediators, the Russians keep some of their warheads in the region and would not want the devastating effects of my curried cabbage barks to set them off on Russian home soil.

So it wouldn't be 'woe be tha Cap'n... it'd be woe be tha Russians and Sarah Palin, fer inevitably her'd be affected by tha methane fallout and end up talking more shit than she does already.  Now yer don' want that, do 'e???

Angus, this man has issues!

We could call him "Smolensk Starkers" or "Karpathian Kap'n".

The conspiracy runs deeper....I have KH18 photos showing "Typhoon" Class Subs off Starkers coast just waiting for his ship tosail. But not to sink 'im....to steal his sainted curried cabbage and create a new type of Borsht.

The Go'auld are also lurking to steal it as a replacement for Naquita: You guessed (or gassed) it.....Cabbiquita to power the Star Gate.

The problem comes in Kali-fawnya (shwarzenegger accent) because:

Of course I have issues... the Puppeteer sent me several of them via post!  I knew I should never have opened that parcel... now I have issues running around all over the place and breeding like rabbits on Viagra.  Why just yesterday I stepped in a nest of them and got an allergic reaction where one of em' gave me a nasty bite.  We've used cans and cans of insect repellant and surface spray, but still they thrive.  Even resorted to putting down rat traps to see if we could reduce their numbers - and even caught one, too, by one of its 12 legs, but it auto amputated that and went on its merry way... and it won't miss it, having 11 more legs to depend on.

I even managed to catch a few and repackage them - thinking about how quickly they breed and how much of a pain in the arse they'd be - and posted them off 'return to sender'.  The idea was to give the puppeteer some of his own medicine, but the parcel was back next day and bursting at the seams with all the prolific breeding that had gone on, with a postal note saying: "Sender not known at this address."

Won't do 'em nay good... wiv tha potent nature o' me sainted curried cabbage in that thar confine space, them thar subs 'll ne'er make it t' tha surfice agin. 

The Go'auld don't have to lurk and steal it! We have done a deal!  In exchange for Cabbiquita, the Go' auld are going to transport the Puppeteer and bankers who award themselves gratuitous bonuses through the Stargate to a planet with 'Issues' and imprison them there to be tortured by some very aggressive Issues who have lost their homes and life savings due to 'banker greed'.  And to be sure they don't escape, the Go'auld have been well advised not to use Colonel Klink and Sgt Schultz to guard them, not to mention banning Michael Scofield from ever visiting them.

They be gettin' their just dessert Cap'n!

"Run Ccleaner and Regedit on yer 'ouse an' it must delouse!"= J. Cochran

i have issues too... i think rice crackers and cola is a good sensible diet........

Aye, that they be... n' tha Go'auld 'ave also agreed ter shove a pineapple rough end first up their butts t' deter tha thort o' sittin' down on tha job while in the Cabbiquita mines.  Now that be a forecloshure wot oughter teach them desk huggin', gratuitous pencil pushers wot real work be all about.

I'll say ye 'aves ishues orright!  I 'ears too many o' them thar rice crackers can give 'e consteepashun an' ye can end up wiv slanty eyes n' buck teeth frum tha strain n' bitin inta tha back o' tha dunny door.  Dunno if 'em makes curried cabbage flaverred ones, but ye could try 'em out t' see if'n that 'elps at all.

As if it weren't bad enough already.  Now a new movement is starting in New Zealand which certainly will make it's way to Goodna,QL.  If they can't tax Starkers' farts the Australian economy will certainly collapse.

Well isn't that just ridiculous... taxing farting livestock!  Of course, it's only a small part of a much larger conspiracy... to tax dogs when they pee on fire hydrants; cats when they're out on the tiles; parrots who swear... and female sheep with human boyfriends.

Yup, the Kiwi Government has gone too far with this one, and as a conscientious objector I have added my weight to the cause by signing the petition 666 times, with every alias I could remember using on previous petitions. I mean, not only does this proposed tax take away animals rights to free expression, it also would require them to have some form of income in order to pay, meaning some Kiwi workers would inevitably lose their jobs.  Like unemployment isn't already high enough in NZ! So c'mon peoples, let's fight this fart tax and help save the NZ economy... Kiwi jobs.

As for this tax finding its way to Goodna Qld.... it WON'T happen.  My local member of parliament has his office about 400 yards down the road from me... and he is more full of hot air than I am.

Hehe, his name is Bernie Ripoll, and during the last election campaign someone went around and changed to two l's to f's on all his electioneering signs... like how appropriate, Bernie Ripoff.   Heheheheheee.

wtf

If cats are taxed, I'm gonna have to move.. to the moon, or.. something

It's just not gonna happen.  Apart from pussy lovers everywhere revolting (and i know one or two who are revolting enough already), too many politicians are cat owners and wouldn't dare impose the tax on us and exempt themselves, for fear of hundreds of revolting cat lovers descending upon their electoral offices, starting a riot and throwing paper bags of cat poo around.

My cat Mikey [see Xmas topic for pic] who is 12 kilo, could fill a dump [haha DUMP] truck with his poo, it's worth it's weight in.. well poo , I need to hire a Backo to move it!

You sure Mikey isn't crossed with an elephant???

Anyhow, give Mikey a feed or two of curried cabbage and he'd be the perfect weapon when you go down to your local member's electoral office to protest... just squeeze lightly and he's a single barreled  poopgun with repeat action.

hehe hey, I had this dream right about the time Mikey grew HUGE, I was sitting in my hallway, dressed in rags like Cinderalla, and there were cat food cans stacked in piles like in Coles [Supermarket] and Mikey was coming down the hallway, but he was massive, he was about 10 foot high and his head was caving the roof in, and he began to growl, and the cans were going everywhere, it was an earthquake, and I'm sitting there with a rusty can opener, trying to open the cat food tins as Mikey is getting closer, and I'm like "Mikey PLEASE.. I'm opening them as fast as I can!!!"

That sounds like a catastrophy not a catspiracy.  Can you imagine the size of the fur balls from a cat that big.  And cleaning the litter box would take a Catapillar tractor.