If I went to OZ why would I want to find normal ones?  No fun doing that.  Chasing bloody roos sounds like a hoot. 

Way to go Starkers...glad I'm not the only one who got that!

If I were the only one that got that, I would feel badly.  

A bit of both, actually... normally insane.

If I wasn't normally insane I'd be a lunatic.

If my implant was 10 inches longer it'd be a foot.

If I had a moth ball in one hand one one moth ball in the other I'd have a giant moth at my mercy.

If I hadn't been born at a very early age I would have been older.

If I find the rhythm method doesn't work, I find another orchestra.

If I get pissed about having to playing second fiddle, I'm reminded to be thankful I'm even in the band.

Then you'd have 2 feet and that peg leg.  A little clumsy.  Sort of an odd tripod.

^ LOL!!!!!

If my mother had stayed in OZ, instead of just visiting, I would be that much closer to Starkers!

Hehe!  Unfortunately, I have one foot, a peg leg and a pink jellybean.

If I hadn't been in the wrong queue when God was giving out the implants, I wouldn't have this second bellybutton.

And aren't you thanking your lucky stars she had a return ticket

If you were that much closer to starkers you'd be a raving lunatic, too...

it's contagious, you know.

if i hadn't paid that hooker with a cheque everything would be different today

If I lost 80lbs I'd only be half as cuddly.

If I gained 80lbs the only thing that'd go round me would be the park railings

If I had assimilated with my 'first's' twin sister as well, I'd have lost my virginity twice.

If I had the entire internet to choose from I’d still think this place rocks the most!

Yes, it is contagious, you get it from your kids!

I have an equator!

I have both 'tropics'.... combined.... and they hang down over my Pole

If I hadn't gotten myself lost, people would know where to find me.  Heck, even my shrink has looked into my head and is puzzled as to where I'm at.

If I had seen a shrink much earlier in life, I'd be half the man I am today and wouldn't have amounted to much... being a nutter ain't so bad... it works for me.

if i had as much time as i used to i'd still be here sitting at my comp

by the way Starkers my hubby has 3 tropics makes for a lot of fun 

What, in finding the Pole?    

If only I had a Southern Pole that faced Northwards once in a while.

oh i keep my eyes on the pole 

now if only we could remember toput it away sometimes

Okay you guys and girls.  I'm not seeing the big deal here.

I am thinking that is a good thing.

If I had only listened to my mother......wait, I did...now look where I am at.....lol

If I had a joke that would fit into this part of the thread it would go something like this;

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "Snowbirds" in Arizona.

Ray has always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.

Seeing some on sale at Wal-Mart, He buys them and wears them home, walking proudly.

He saunters into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Bessie looks him over and says, "Nope."

Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back

 
into the room, completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"

Bessie looks up and says,

"Ray, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was

hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Ray yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, BESSIE?"

Bessie shrugs her shoulders.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!"

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat."

  that is so funny

when you put it like that angus neither do i 

@ #68   A HAT???  I'd have to buy two.

Now that I'm old and feeble, and my piliot light is out

What used to be my sex appeal is now my water spout.

I used to get embarrassed to make the damned thing behave

For every single morning it would stand and watch me shave

But now I'm old and feeble, it just gives me the goddam blues

For every single morning it hangs down my leg to watch me shine my shoes.

If I hadn't gone at it like a bull at a gate when I was younger and done gone wore it out.

  love your poem Starkers and your sense of humor you always brighten my day

 if only i could remember what the hell i was going to say  

Yeah, if I hadn't been alone at the time....

That's what it's all about, sharing a bit of fun to help brighten up peoples days, so I'm glad you got a positive buzz out of it,

Doesn't matter what you had to say.... it's the thought that counts.

I can't remember it now, but I will in 20 years.