I will turn your bucket upside down

I'll skuttle your bucket. 

I'll titillate your temperamental tabby

I'll let you tab me up at the bar.   haha

I'll fly your kite.... and get high as.

I'll float your boat.

I'll sail your boat to the ends of the Earth in search of new adventures... and booty.  Aarrgghh!!!!!

I'll see your ends of the Earth and throw in planet Mars. Aaaarrgh

I'll see your Mars bar and raise you two packets of M n' M's.

I'll shock your monkey.

I'll monkey your wrench.

I'll see your wrench and raise you two ball hammers.

[dunno why they were called that... I mean, why would anybody design a hammer to hit someone in the nuts?]

I'll choke your carb.

I'll exhaust your rattle.

I'll rattle your cage... and loosen up a few of them cobwebs.

I'll knit socks with the cobwebs.      Something I learned while I was in a monastery.   

nope, not true

I'll tap into your monastery skills to knit me some condoms from the gossamer threads, then.

I'll knit you a blankie for some of that stuff.  Cool

I'll wrap myself in your blankie, but a shared warmth is more effective... and satisfying.

I can't knit an electric blankie.  

I'll flick your Bic.

I'll cook your goose.... do you have any condiments to make it a tastier roast?

I'll share the soda.  Wine is yucky.

I'll share your soda and partake of a few shandies or eight... but be warned, soda gives me gas.

I'll forget the pop and bring a refreshing sparkling wine in lieu. {not really a wine..} A few shandies sounds cool.