BoBoMoe

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For Christmas this year, my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Cindy, who said she is a 22-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started. Day 1. They

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One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first." The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bea

Reply to Congratz to Ingui in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Well deserved, your one of my favorite cursor makers!

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Three women were about to be executed. One was a brunette, one a redhead, and the other a blonde. The guard brought the first woman, the brunette, forward and the executioner asked if she had any last requests. She said no and the executioner shouted: "... Ready ... Aim ... !! and suddenly the brunette yelled, "EARTHQUAKE!" Everyone was startled and looked around. She escaped. So they brought up the redhead and asked if she had any last reques

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."<b

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse -racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

You Know It's Time To Diet When.... 1. You dance and it makes the band skip. 2. You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live. 3. You put mayonnaise on an aspirin. 4. You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts. 5. Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side." 6. You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture. 7. You learn you were born with a si

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

An 80 year woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months together, the woman wasn't feeling well and she went to her doctor. The doctor examined and said, "Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you're going to be a mother." "Get serious doctor, I'm 80." "I know," said the doctor, "This morning, I would have said it was impossible, but this afternoon you are a medical miracle." "I'll be darned," she replied and stormed out of the office. She walked down the ha

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

HEAVENLY MARRIAGE On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, this couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heaven's gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. In conversation while waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone ever asked. "Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sits for a couple of mo

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Styl Skinner it's a play on words from a childrens song. Discovered Man discovered weapons, invented hunting. Woman discovered hunting, invented furs. Man discovered colors, invented painting. Woman discovered painting, invented make-up. Man discovered speech, invented conversation. Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip. Man discovered agricu

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Mrs. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank man

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Newest Medications for Women : D A M I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours. ST. M O M M A'S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM In order to streamline the handling of problems within the system, please fill out the following questionnaire before sending it in for help. With your co-operation we should be able to provide faster and more efficient fault resolution. 1. Describe your problem: ______________________________________________________ 2. Now, describe the problem accurately: ______________________________________________________ 3.

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

SIGNS SHE HAS PMS She stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo. She considers chocolate a major FDA food group. She puts on one of those pads with "wings," then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom. She's developed a new talent for spinning her head around in 360 degree circles. She retains more water than Lake Superior. She denies she's in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her semiautomatic and "chambers one." She b

Reply to WC Browser strangeness in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Still in a timewarp here too

Reply to Over 3 million dead in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Bangkokboy, I agree with that 100%, very gastly. We can sit around and tell each other just how gastly it is or come up with some solutions. Sometimes the solutions aren't so pretty either but they are a far lesser evil than what would proliferate if nothing is ever done. I understand some of the pacifists that have stated their case here that's all well and good but until we live in a utopian society those thoughts are just a dream. I want that too but we have a long way to go before we can rea

Reply to WC Browser strangeness in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Seems to be fine in a regular browser, but is lulu in the WinCustomize browser.

Reply to Over 3 million dead in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

I'm with you Green. Just what do they think the military is for anyway, a career in interior decorating? Plaeeeze! Just what were they thinking when they enlisted? How can I get in on that North Korea pool? ! You should start a pool for Iran and Syria too! Nations that promote terrorism, tyranny or proliferate weapons of mass destruction should take note and learn from Iraq. They are dancing in the streets of

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

The Top 16 Poor Responses to the Question "Does This Make Me Look Fat?" 16> "Not to Stevie Wonder." 15> "Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend." 14> "Does this tie make me look stupid?" 13> "No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!" 12> "I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean fat with an 'f' or phat with a 'ph.'" 11> "No hablo ingles." 10> "Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hoo

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

A man in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He keeps throwing it into the air, where the wind catches it for a few seconds before it comes crashing down. Watching him from the kitchen window, his wife mutters how men have to be told how to do everything. So she opens the window and yells, "You need more tail!" He shouts back, "Make up your mind! Last night you told me to go fly a kite!" <A HREF="https://www.wincustomize.com/index.asp?Cmd=

Reply to Over 3 million dead in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Old Crab, apparently you aren't so old as to remember such isolationist and pacifist attitudes in the 1930's allowed the rise of Nazi Germany and delayed the entry of the US into WWII. You can not just ignore things and hope they will go away, eventually they will come knocking on your door, this is why 911 happened. Your 2 cents only buys trouble. Those who ignore the lessons of the past are doomed to repeat them. <img

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

The Most Dangerous Phrases In The Human Language? "I have an idea" "What happens if I push this button?" "Sure, nobody will do that" "And what are you going to do about it?" "This is a foolproof plan" "Ah sure, it'll be grand" "Just send us your credit card details" "Don't worry. I'll pull out" "The collateral damage will be minimal, promise" "I got this off the Web" "Is there anything you want to tell me?" "Does my bum look big in this?"

Reply to Over 3 million dead in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

The problem is that the UN cannot agree on anything quickly enough to prevent these humanitarian catastrophes. I see the UN going the same way as the League of Nations.

Reply to Over 3 million dead in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Another case of the UN sitting on their a** and debating resolution after resolution and not doing anything. The same thing happened in Rwanda. That's why the US and others sometimes have to take the initiative rather than wait in an impotent UN. The humanitarian catastrophe would have been that same in the Balkins if the US hadn't stepped in. Note that these catastrophes are occuring in former French and Belgium colonies. Where are they? <A HREF="https://www.wincustomize.com/index.asp?C