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Sorry to see you go but you can always toggle off the Home World Victory condition, in fact most people I've talked to within the community already do as the 'completely demolish your opponent' style of victory feels more complete and is less susceptible to certain kinds of 'cheese' as you yourself noted. 

Balance conditions will always be a challenge in any kind of competitive player-versus-player environment and generally remain a 'work-in-progress' throughout the life of the game. 

If I could make a suggestion, turn off the Home World Victory condition and try again, I think you'll find it significantly less frustrating.