I haven't added anything to this point. Now I'm glad to hear there is some light coming your way Mark. Hopefully soon life will be the way you want it to be. Peaceful and enjoyable.

And could I afford THAT much?  

Oh well, there's always plan B.... tie up her seeing eye dog, break her white cane and offer to guide... er, lead her myself.

 Thanks, Dave, despite the experience making me considerably out of pocket, things are looking up and I'm in reasonably good spirits.  At the end of the day, though, it's only money and I will manage/get more.  And I'm in good company so things aren't too bad.

The cap'n's smilin'!! Uh oh.....hide the vitalls!

Let's be honest...PLan B was always to get the dog drunk.

Ssshhhhhh!  Nobody else was to know that, just in case I got a visit from the RSPCA for getting a dog drunk in public.  However, that was plan D.

Plan C was to lay down in front of her and take advantage of her when she tripped over me.

Plan B was Bessie, Smedley. Not some dog. We all know it.

And stop acting like you weren't the one that kidnapped RnD's ewe and sold her to starkers.

Putz!  

Quoting DrJBHL, reply 57

Plan B was Bessie, Smedley. Not some dog. We all know it.

And stop acting like you weren't the one that kidnapped RnD's ewe and sold her to starkers.

Putz!  

Balderdash, I did NOT purchase Bessie off of Smedley or anyone else.

For a start, any ewe I purchased would have to be a virgin, and given the company Bessie's kept of late, we know that's highly improbable.

Not only that, the ewe I'd buy would have to have her fleece dyed pink to make her look more feminine, and last I heard, Bessie had a blue tinge thru hers to remind RnD of her mother, who was a part of the blue rinse set some years ago.

Besides, what makes you think Smedley would have sold Bessie had he lambnapped her?   Yes, lambnapped!  Get it right!

Had Bessie's parents been goats, which they weren't, then she would have been kidnapped. 

Then I'd say you've been...fleeced! 

If stealing a lamb is lambnapped and stealing a goat is kidnapped they how come when they steal people its called kidnapped and not peoplenapped?

Quoting Uvah, reply 60

If stealing a lamb is lambnapped and stealing a goat is kidnapped they how come when they steal people its called kidnapped and not peoplenapped?

Uvah, Uvah, oh Uvah, the answer to that is quite simple... and why you never thought of it before astonishes me.

The term kidnaped began many moons ago and refers to when poor people would extort money from the rich by stealing their kids and holding them up for ransom.  Thing is, the term kidnapped took on a broader meaning when the poor people began stealing older and older children.  Sometimes the adult children of the rich would be stolen, and the rich people would appeal to the public for the return of their 'kid'.  Thus the term kidnapped remained and was used to describe the theft and ransom of all human beings to save having to invent a new word.

See how simple that was?  Now if a humble peasant such as I could figure that out, an educated man such as yourself should have picked up on it quicker than a [feline pursued]rat up a drainpipe'

Now here's the question!  When illegal organ harvesters steal somebody's kidney we know it as kidneynapped, right?  So what happens when these brazen thieves start illegally harvesting other organs, do we refer to the removed organ and call it eyenapped; lungnapped; heartnapped, or do we simply stick with kidneynapped for the entire process to save inventing new words and confusing the issue?

Anyhow, this is doing nothing for my desperate and dateless situation.  I joined a dating site, lied about my age, height and weight, posted a pic of me 40 years younger and listed a whole bunch of hobbies and interests in the hope of attracting members of the opposite sex.

Hmmpphh!  I got just one reply: "Age, height and weight unimportant; interests and hobbies unimportant I'm willing to learn; not bothered by snoring, farting or burping.... MUST have minimum of 3 inches."

I thought: "Well her sights are set so low that I might've been in with a chance, but there's no way I'm undergoing enhancement surgery to add an inch to my old fella.'

I don't think those who steal organs are doing so to extort money for their return.  Pretty sure they're in the game of on-selling....;)

this thread is going from baaaa-d to worse....  

I do realise that; however, it was more a play on words than anything.... kidnapped....kidneynapped... and so on.  Being homeless has left me with more time on my hands, especially on a long weekend when eff all is open, so yeah, I have more than enough time for weird shit to develop and post it online.

Trust ewe to come up with something like that.

It was a rhetorical question.