nobody home

So there's no point ringing the doorbell, then?

Guess the Avon Lady's out of luck too. 

But, are the lights on?  

I suppose there's no point ordering pizza to that address, then.

Nor to any address for that matter. HG will intercept it. Got the place wired, I tell ya.

who poured the beers then...  

oh but the door is unlocked

now look it's Lindsay Lohan's, Britney Spears, Winona Ryder helping them self's 

It seems the PD got a report of a loud party going on... but you guessed it, officers got no response when they rang the doorbell.

Word has it the Avon lady was hiding in the bushes cos she thought she was just being snubbed.... and hoping like hell somebody would answer the door to the cops so she could rush in with her 'learned off by heart' sales pitch and a handful of catalogues.

No wonder Avon sales are down this year.... nobody's home.

doubt they rang it.....

could you blame 'em... 

Yeah, I'd be a bit dubious, too..

Me, I'd be worried the button would depress right in.... and it's a live critter cunningly laying wait for such a thrill.

Yeah, I know!  I watch too much MAD TV and listened to too many redneck jokes.

That's not even good country music, but then again look who uploaded it.

The Maytag man couldn't even get in for his one call a month.

But the bloke complaining the most is the milkman... who goes there for his 'cocoa' three times every week.

Cocoa and lets not forgot the whipped cream on top. Oh...and the cherry too.

Dammit!!!  Still nobody home.

Okay, so they've had more than enough time to get home from shopping/going out for a meal/to catch a movie.

So, one could conclude:

1. They're on vacation 

2. They're in Jail

3. They're in Hospital

4. They've contracted an ENT infection and can't hear the doorbell

5. They've discovered Viagra and are pretending to be out

6. They were murdered in their beds and are unable to answer the door.

So, if anyone calling in the next day or so notices an awful smell. it may be the latter  and will need to call the cops.

There again, if there's a funny smell as a result of #6, call the paramedics because will have been longer than 4 hours, and neither can reach the phone.

or this

When you knock on the door does someone answer no ones home or do they just ignore it and go about filling up the placebo viagras for quick sale to the unsuspecting nitpickers who do not understand the words.....no....ones....home.

Oh...I get it. Its a rhetorical statement.

A bit like politicians, you think... where the lights are on but nobody's home, kinda thing?

As for the Viagra placebos... well I happen to think that's a very dirty trick...

.... just like the time somebody swapped my travel sick pills for Viagra and the rocking motion of the train, er.....

Yeah, and the woman sat across from me asked if I was going to the same astronomy conference as her and: "is that a telescope in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

Still that doesn't explain why there's no answer when we ring the doorbell.

Or the doorbell is so loud it blew his ears off and he can't hear you.

Maybe he has a serious case of Tinnitis.

Maybe the door bell just doesn't work?

Or they've been dining on curried cabbage and this has resulted in profound deafness?

That is a bastard of an ailment.  I've had it for about 15 years, the result of an injury, and it often drives me to distraction... or worse.  Sometimes I can't sleep because it's so loud and discomforting.  Grrrrr!!!!

Yep, it does... can hear it from up the street, even....

Even with the volume on low that thing has quite a reverb. Wow!

That's right!  So they're either being ignorant and ignoring the doorbell, or it's one of the scenarios above.

My money's on the Viagra overdose and they're stuck in bed together... assuming that's where they went to participate.

Hmmm, I wonder if throwing a bucket of cold water over 'em would work, or whether somebody oughta call the para's.