Uvah is so old that he thought that he was dressing me as God

The blue iridescent robe matched your eyes, all sparkly and stuff.

mrs starkers is so old ...... her tag for the community wall had to be taken from the Smithsonian's dead skin vault.

starkers is so old...... he coined the phrase "Who done it?" when the Big Bang went pop.

sydneysiders is so old ...... her popcorn wagon pic had to be shopped to take out all the termites.

Uvah is so old... he was already past it when caveman began to fashion condoms from armadillo intestines.

sydneysisers is so old... the termites decided not to take a bite of her instead because they were warned their dental plan did not cover chips or breakages caused by chomping into fossils.

mrs_starkers is so old.... she was getting lessons fron the cave painters to improve her interior decorating ideas.

Doc is so old... he treated the very first ever case of piles.... tho his patient didn't appreciate having them beaten out with a prehistoric egg whisk.

Starkers is so old.... this is not the first flood he's survived.... he was head of Noah's carpentry team....  

https://forums.wincustomize.com/399571/page/5/#2868006 

sydneysiders is so old... she got out needle and cotton and made sails for the Ark... just in case Noah and the blokes got tired of rowing.

Doc is so old..... after the circumcision ceremonies he kept Adam's, Cain and Abel's, Noah's and Moses foreskins to sew them together to make himself a [coin] purse.... he later discovered that if he gave that purse a bit of a rub he had instant luggage.

Dave Bax is so old.... he was caught trying to pickpocket Doc's purse for a bit of loose change to get into the [chariot] races.

Fuzzy Logic is so old.... he lodged a protest in the 4th race at Bethlehem because he only managed 2nd after Judah Ben Hur cut him off on the home stretch.

Junior Crooks is so old.... he backed Fuzzy Logic and lost his shirt [and shorts] to Rabbi Munsch, who was moonlighting as a bookie.

BkGarbageman [Fred] is so old.... he beat Pontius Pilate's driver for 3rd, but was later disqualified because his garbage truck left litter strewn all over the track and the driver in 4th place was thrown out of his chariot after hitting a discarded 6-pack.

Iben is so old he had been there and done that before he got stuck

on a piece of gum on the brick wall at the end of the universe when the first universe was 99.999 % collapsed.

I won't quit my day job.

@  iben

starkers is so old that he thought the a emachine notebook was something to do with writing on rock tablet 

Iben is so old... his first motorcycle was horse-drawn.  Seems he was sick and tired of pedaling and the internal combustion engine hadn't been invented for another 400 years.

mrs Starkers is so old... her emachine spat out a photo of her last birthday cake because the screen was incapable of fitting in all the candles.  What makes this more amazing is that it was hooked up to a 26" monitor at the time.

Here we stand on the brink of the oldest most cantankerous whatnot what ever crossed the pond and made its way to Ozdom. In point of fact this most oldest cantankerous whatnot what ever crossed the pond and made its way to Ozdom has recently harvested a fresh batch of, you guessed it, highly lethal and extremely volatile, flammable even, Curried Cabbage and thus proceeded to consume said highly lethal and extremely volatile, flammable even, Curried Cabbage and now ........ BLAM!!!!!

Oops.

Uvah is so old... he was the one wearing a clothes peg on his nose when King Tut had a curried cabbage moment in the royal tent

Dave RI is so old.... he also donned ear muffs. Apparently the sound barrier was also broken during the event.

starkers is so old ... he stitched the tent together from hand-me-downs after Noah stepped off the Ark.

Uvah is so old.... Noah looked up to him because he respected his elders.

sydneysiders is so old... she gave Noah some motherly type advice on how to live with animals in closed quarters.  Apparently she'd had prior experience with methane when livestock in the Garden of Eden had to be taken indoors to shelter from storms.

DaveRI is so old... he was the first paying passenger to be offered a berth on the Ark.  Word has it that he complained to the purser when the chief steward placed him in a cabin with female gorilla in heat.

Doc is so old... he was offered free passage if he provided free medical services.  His medical training, however, didn't prepare him for performing an appendectomy on a cow.  Apparently the four stomachs threw him off and he sliced off a teat when the scalpel slipped....

Yuck!

awwww pooor doc.

Yeah ... poor Doc. So old his first prescription was written by the light of the burning bush.

mrs starkers is so old she used the wax in her ears to fashion the first candle back in the year zero and used starkers hair for the wick which is why his pate is smoother than a newborn baby's backside.

Uvah is so old.... when he was asked by his doctor for a stool sample, he went out immediately with his flint tools and fashioned a milking-type stool out of a fallen tree and some pterodactyl bones.

Doc is so old.... he asked Uvah if he could make a cushion for it because he'd gotten piles from sitting on a cold, damp cave floor.

sydneysiders is so old.... she considers gravity her greatest enemy and now wears a bra with hydraulic support to prevent black eyes when jogging.

Uvah is so old... whenever he hears somebody stomach rumble he thinks it's Vesuvius going off again and heads for cover.

Doc is so old.... Vesuvius was on the same continent as Australia.

JPMurph is so old.... he used to hunt kangaroos in Arizona... until the great migration and continental drift saw Australia heading in a Southerly direction.

Dave Bax is so old.... he provided jpMurph with the spear.

starkers arrived not over one, but two puddles. Not by ship, however.

No, the old cheapskate took a "self powered balloon"!

And I was going great guns until I was over the Antarctic.

Yeah, the emissions from my self-propulsion unit froze in mid-air and it was slow going there for a while.

Luckily I had a packed lunch to replenish my energy levels, otherwise I might still be there chugging along.

Hehe....

Jafo is so old.... he went to the Historic Bikes at Phillip Island and realised he pre-dated all of them except the Ancient Egyptian chariot which was converted into a trike.  Hmmm, I'll bet Rameses I is turning over in his pyramid over that one.

  hehe.

     On the way to the first ever self-propelled balloon race on the shores of Godwanaland (present day Myrtle Beach) starkers and company, the erstwhile navigator Dr J' the other left' BHL, his co-pilot Wrong Way Jafo, the radio person sydney 'what you said' siders, JPMurph with his kiln to heat the air, and the ever-lovin' cute as a toe-nail on a donkey Bunk aka Po the Smedley, all waited with baited breath while the rules of the race were laid for them by none other than Shaunna 'I'll beat with a wet noodle' starkers.

     Once done and aloft, the air hot as blazes cause JPMUrph added too much buffalo dung to the fire, the motley crew caught the first breeze out of the newly established Jet Stream and at an incredible three feet per hour, very fast for the times, set course for the nerw world. The only problem was the new world hadn't been created yet. Wrong Way Jafo and his cohort Dr J 'the other left' BHL didn't bother to tell starkers and they spent the next two and a half billion years aloft waiting for the continents to take shape all the while having to listen to both sydney 'what you said' siders and Shaunna 'I'll beat you with a wet noodle' starkers harangue them for their ineptitude. And what did Bunk aka Po the Smedley do while all this was going on? He took his rubber duckey, jumped overboard and paddled his way back to the shores of Godwanaland where his sweetheart waited patiently for him to arrive and when he did she decked him. "Don't you ever strand me again you aminal you" she was heard to screech. That's MY story and I'm stickin' to it, to borrow a phrase.