A New Candidate

from JoeUser Forums

Today I give you an excellent candidate for President of the USA, Mr Shmulik Karhon. His message is so simple that even a liberal can understand it yet unlikely to offend even the most Christian of conservatives.

 

 

Granted, Mr Karhon wasn't born an American and is, in fact, a penguin. But apart from the minor issue that he will ursurp the presidency to get around that problem he will stick to the constitution and defend America's liberties.

He will also defend fishing rights.

His other proposed policies include:

- Unwavering US support for Israel and Iraq

- Formulation of US claims on Antarctica and defence of those claims in the UN

- Support for more public swimming pools

Mr Karhon is single, Jewish, and, perhaps most important, black and white.

 

96,559 views 45 replies
Reply #1 from Stardock Forums Top

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Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

He bears a striking family resemblance to the author. ;)

Multiplicity - Control multiple PCs using one keyboard and mouse
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

He bears a striking family resemblance to the author.

Does not!

:-)

 

Reply #4 from Stardock Forums Top

hmmmm does Leauki have a skeleton in his closet?  Do tell?  :) 

 

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

hmmmm does Leauki have a skeleton in his closet?  Do tell?

No, I just found a Web site that obamaizes pictures. So I figured I could do that to my penguin.

He is mine, by the way. I bought him from a Jewish cartoonist in Germany. It's a very flexible character. He would make a good President. Certainly looks like a job any penguin could do.

However, I am thinking about moving to America again. Situation gets ugly in Ireland. Germany would be far safer but I have no chance to get a job there. And some of the Muslim immigrants are making life difficult. Here in Ireland it's mostly local fanatics, not so much Muslim immigrants...

Unfortunately getting a work permit or green card is not easy. It seems more difficult for me who is totally assimilated, speaks the language, and would be a productive member of society (I am a software engineer). Heck I even look forward to watching Baseball.

Plus I started an Irish pension fund, but not long ago so I could restart. My plan was to retire in Israel but I am not sure if this will be possible now. Israel might not exist any more in any meaningful sense in 40 years.

Since Monday, again as it so often happens, on my way to work I am afraid that somebody might realise that I am Jewish and act against me in the name of peace. It happens. It will happen more often. And I am too stupid to walk away instead of defending myself. And when the press isn't looking those people do not act as if they are brutally beaten.

Anyway, enjoy the penguin!

:-)

 

 

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

I am being too pessimistic.

G-d won't abandon us.

Something will happen.

 

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

Who needs a green card in America?  Apparently our current administration thinks those getting green cards are just fools.

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

Quoting Dr, reply 7
Who needs a green card in America?  Apparently our current administration thinks those getting green cards are just fools.

Yes. But they are also Mexicans.

I would immigrate legally, pay taxes, get health insurance, and ultimately swear allegiance to the nation that would have me.

 

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

I would immigrate legally, pay taxes, get health insurance, and ultimately swear allegiance to the nation that would have me.

now that's an immigrant one can be proud of! 

G-d won't abandon us.

Last I checked God was still on His throne! 

 

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top

Quoting KFC, reply 9


I would immigrate legally, pay taxes, get health insurance, and ultimately swear allegiance to the nation that would have me.


now that's an immigrant one can be proud of! 

Pst! You are a conservative. You are supposed to hate immigrants. Why do you always forget?

:-)

I think I might fit into New York or somewhere else around New-England.

 

G-d won't abandon us.


Last I checked God was still on His throne! 

 

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem.

 

Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

I think I might fit into New York or somewhere else around New-England.

I think you would hate the area.  If you love Ireland, try someplace not as crowded (and a little warmer).

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

If you love Ireland, try someplace not as crowded (and a little warmer).

ya, like VA to Florida!  :) 

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top

I think you would hate the area.  If you love Ireland, try someplace not as crowded (and a little warmer).

I live in Dublin, not Ireland. It's a difference.

While Dublin is (obviously) in Ireland, it's really very different from the rest of the country.

Dublin has no wide open spaces and Dublin is also very very crowded. I haven't left the city for the countryside in years. I hear that Boston is the most European American city.

 

ya, like VA to Florida!

With my job skills New York or so would be better. And I need public transportation. I don't drive.

 

Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top

I hear that Boston is the most European American city.

Boston may be more to your liking, but I think the cold will still cause your joints to ache.  I hate the place (albeit it is a nice place to visit), But I would suggest San Francisco.  If the loons are just too much for you, try Portland or Seattle.  Both more temperate, but still crowded.

I will say this for San Francisco - it has an excellent public transportation system.

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

Quoting Dr, reply 14

I hear that Boston is the most European American city.
Boston may be more to your liking, but I think the cold will still cause your joints to ache.  I hate the place (albeit it is a nice place to visit), But I would suggest San Francisco.  If the loons are just too much for you, try Portland or Seattle.  Both more temperate, but still crowded.

Boston is not so good as I have already chosen sides in the Yankess vs Red Sox matter.

San Francisco might be good, but it's in California, and I think all Californians are idiots.

I don't know what public transportation is like in Portland or Seattle. I want to take a bus or train to work.

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top

I think all Californians are idiots.

well not all.  My son just moved there for a post-doc position...but he's not planning on staying more than two years.  He doesn't like it there (way too expensive). 

 

Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

but it's in California, and I think all Californians are idiots.

well not all.

Like she said. ;)

I do not know the public transportation in Seattle or Portland either, but it is something you can check out.

Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top

If Denver should end up on your list, I have a good friend, a rabbi, who lives there & I have no doubt would be of help.

They have a light rail & bus system.

Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top

Quoting Daiwa, reply 18
If Denver should end up on your list, I have a good friend, a rabbi, who lives there & I have no doubt would be of help.

They have a light rail & bus system.

You know what? Denver sounds good!

The climate seems good, the politics fit me, and the city looks nice.

Ok, here's the thing. I just signed a contract for another year. But in that year I'll see if I can get a job and work permit. I'll save some money, visit Israel once or twice more, and then see how I can move to the US. Maybe I can take a month or two off between jobs here and in the US to visit Sudan and/or Somalia as I had planned for years.

But Europe definitely isn't the place where I want to grow old.

Or where people would want to let me.

 

Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top

I don't know what public transportation is like in Portland or Seattle. I want to take a bus or train to work.

 

Chicago. 

 

Pizza

 

Beef

 

El

 

Baseball

 

Hippies with smashed skulls. 

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Reply #21 from Stardock Forums Top

Actually, fwiw Denver isn't half bad.  If you get outside of Denver itself though, Colorado becomes a pretty strange place.  There's a massive Jewish community in Denver too if it's that's something you're looking for.  

Chicago, San Fran, Boston, Minneapolis, Austin would make my good list.

 

Duck Atlanta, Phoenix, LA, and anything in PA.   

 

 

Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top

Chicago. 

Absolutely love the pictures! You totally got me!

But I don't like the politics of that region. :-(

 

Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top

But I don't like the politics of that region.

or the corruption! 

Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

or the corruption! 

Same thing (in Chicago).

 

Reply #25 from Stardock Forums Top

Ey!  There is no corruption in Chicago. You guys are like the feds!  Ya got nothing on Chicago political corruption.  Nada.  Zip.  Zero.  zilch.  NOTHIN'!