Banned for befriending the scurrilous woman across the road... using inviting gestures to save you walking over to her place for a bit of crumpet.

banned for teaing of with the crumpets

Banned for not noticing that the tea was in T cups and the crumpet was in lacy D-cups... cos there's nothing wrong with an accidental [or otherwise] nip slip to boost levels when you're suffering low blood pressure.

banned for slipping up

Banned for putting the damned banana skin there... and I have photos of my bruised arse for the damages lawsuit

banned for coding out 4011

Banned for Banana 4011 bar-code.  when were you at cashier at the local grocer?   I have been.  And really liked it till Christmas came along and well you know, 25lbs of sugar, 30lbs potatoes, flat of pop, turkey, turkey, turkey, etc.etc.etc.   Long story short my back busted.   They were gonna put me in price tagging and such.. retirement pasture. I couldn't do that. What a nut I am. Union it was.  I quit anyway. 

banned for knowing the Bar Code

I had to go through Cashier School to work at night stocking shelves as Safeway. When they started working me 6, 12 hour days with the day off in constant motion (sometimes would work 11 days before a day off) I finally quit when no end was in sight and went to UPS. At least there I get two days off in a row and only work 5.

Banned for I was at Safeway too.  Maybe we met.    No, I know... hehe   And yes, me too. Greener pastures. Forward always. 

Banned for greedy retail giants sure know how the burn out employees.... Woolworths here in Oz did it to me... too many 16 - 18 hour days and no overtime cos I was on staff as a nightfill manager.  Was taken advantage of... NEVER again.

banned for being a manager

Banned for not taking orders..... now go stand in the corner and think about your misdemeanors... not that you'll ever get to know MissDemeanors like I do.

banned for taping up the misdemeanors

Banned for Miss Demeanors is not into bondage, though she's used tape to keep her knickers up when the elastic broke

Banned for I was night manager of a Boston Pizza in BC.   $120.00 a night in tips...    met Jethro Tull there.       Good times. 

banned for meeting a recorder player

Banned for not knowing a flute when you see one... a bit like the constipated mathematician, really, worked it out with his pencil.

.Banned 'cause I got an ICRAIG. Dinky little thing, 10 inch screen, not much ese. It has an apple on the front so I'm assuming Apple made it. Not too bad for a freebie. 

banned for apple yappers

Banned for foaming at the mouth over an apple....  but never mind, everything is just peachy.  And if Mangoes.... so will I.

Banned for fruits were never my go to snack, now vegie & dip... especially broccoli and cauliflower, a few carrots.   Well now I've got to eat.  L8TR

banned for poor snackages

Banned a plate half full....me, I prefer to eat some and leave it half empty.

Banned for your joking (me thinks) but that is very good advice. If more people did that less people would have bad tickers and all the other bad stuff associated with excess. Too much of anything good is no good for us. 

banned for thinking that leaving a plate half eaten is good advice

Its better actually to only put the right amount of food so as to avoid temptation.