Banned for Schleppingday would be better?  I can do that.

banned for not letting the dogs out

Banned for the hounds of Hades....they have a devil of a time getting out... but when they do they have a hell of a time.

Banned for the hounds of Hades....they have a devil of a time getting out... but when they do they have a hell of a time.

Banned for time in hell doesn't ring my bell.

banned for taking time out to visit the antipodes of some place else... then escaping the scene to harvest them wild oats.

Banned for wild oats don't exist do they?  They all belong to someone. Patent pending gentleman.  

banned for letting the oats go wild

banned for oats aren't the only thing... wild barley has been known to party hard as well... and Maize, well she's just a barrel of fun after a few bourbons

Banned for a barrel of bourbon and no invite.

banned for not bringing the scotch

Banned for not getting into the spirit of things.... and a single malt will do for that ghostie lazing on yer back porch.

banned for not malting the shakes

Banned for not recognizing my new energy drink, sooo, you need a helmet to drink it...  I call it my "New Energy Drink".       Also I will call today Sunday. Unless there are objections.

Banned for day designation... and I'm calling it Saturday cos that means I'm having tomorrow off.

banned for not realizing that it is Wednesday Humpday

Banned for I do like Humpday. Let's make it Humpday each day of the week... sO today would be Saturday, Humpday.   Yeah! Groovy baby.

Banned for unbridled humping on days that end with AY... oh, and get a room.

Banned for rooms with views... dahhling.

banned for paying too much for slow internet

Banned for being heavy enough to slow it down.... triple decker sandwiches and too many bytes.

banned for assuming triple

I go quadruple

Banned for overindulgence... and think about the butter going to yer hips.

banned for butter is bad for you

Banned for greased lightning buttered on both sides... it arrives BEFORE you hear the thunderclap, it's that fast.

Also banned for Lizzy Dripping.... tho during flu season her nose runs faster than a tap... er, fire hydrant