banned for that ridiculously small hat.

Banned for letting starkers in here.

banned for thinking I have the key

banned for leaving under the door mat

banned for saying doormat

Also banned for saying doormat. 

Banned because I inexplicably have the day off from school.

banned for explanations mean nothing; results mean everything.

Your comment resulted in a Ban

Banned!

Un banned to be banned for comment resulting in a ban

Banned for being a weird purple creature with a smoking gun.

Banned for being a weird pinkish-tan creature with dark glasses.

Banned for pretending to be a scout when you couldn't find yer arse with both hands

Banned for being a blurry pirate. 

Banned for looking for arse on a pirate

Banned for arrse.

Banned for the British Army Rumour Service?

Banned because that is soooo much better than "Stars And Stripes".

Banned for using quotations. 

banned for not

Banned for not observing the correct banning protocol and not referring to a dictionary to support you case for ejection.

banned for using you and not your

Banned for being a stickler for correctness and pointing out other peoples mistakes.

Banned for notising

Banned for more Zubish and not pointing out your own faux pas