It Sucks When....

..it sucks when you spend around a hundred bucks on 5 metre HDMI cables and audio cables to link the lappy to your mum's 42" LCD on a Sunday afternoon to show her what the heck this Wincustomize thing is all about that takes up so much of your time, and justify putting her on broadband so I can show her all these neat net related things.....and finally get it all to work....proudly get to the WC site.....and all you get is 'Egads'!....and "Wincustomize error" for forums, personal pages and every gallery you go to     you then, wait....and wait...and wait....and eventually...pack up your little cables and lappy...and mumble something about technical difficulties....and slink off....    *sigh...

it sucks when you go to the fridge to get a coke and realize that there is only 'dietcoke' and you suddenly remember your "supposed to be" on some kind of strange new diet........ ....but you drink the shit anyway cause you were hanging out for a coke....

it sucks, life..., yes it sucks

It sucks when you are at the airport and you lounge around avoiding going through security too soon because you want to be able to have a couple of cigs before flying. Then they start calling your name while you are going through the metal detector and you have to run like a bastard to catch your flight!

It sucks:

* when you're sitting on the grass in the park and the groundsman turns the underground sprinklers on.

* when you go to bed drunk, wake up with a hangover and throbbing erection in hand... then find it isn't yours.

* you get an intruiging novel from the public library, read it all the way through only to find somebody ripped out the last page

* you're watching your most fav TV show and the power goes out 2 minutes before the end of the gripping season finale.

it sucks when you meet the most beautiful woman in the world and she tells you her name is ralph!!!

It sucks when the ATM says insufficient funds............ then you find out it is the bank that has the insufficient funds.

It sucks when  it takes all night to be able to do what you used to do all night...

It sucks worser when Ralph neglects to say so, the romance begins, and you find a handful where a handful shouldn't be.

awwwww

*when you thought you thought you had clean socks and you don't!

It sucks when:

* you take your dirty socks off and the smell's so bad they walk themselves into the laundry.

* you wash your hair in the hand basin and your head gets stuck in the mud.

* you go to buy a new belt and the assistant quips: "About the only thing that'd go around you is the park railings."

* you don't believe your kid when he says the dog ate his homework.... then discover the dog eating your annual report to the boss.

It also sucks when you're drunk and have to pee and...

* you pull out a hair by mistake and piss down your leg!

* you hold on to your thumb and once again piss down your leg!

* you grab your 2 inch dinky with 4 fingers and piss all over the last 3!!

It sucks when:

* you need to pee and first have to put pepper on yer "dinky" to make it sneeze, then grab it with the tweezers before it goes back in again.

* you pee every morning at 8.00am but don't get up 'til 10.00am.

* you've got a bladder full but have to run water to get it started.

* the pepper no longer works.

It sucks when

• You can live without sex but not without your glasses.

• You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.

• You enjoy watching the news.

• The phone rings and you hope its not for you.

• The only reason you're still awake at 4 am is indigestion.

it sucks when

You go to the hospital for a test and put on your gound. Than the nurse comes and says
“While you are taking your test can we wash your underwear for you”

You can't think of many valid reasons to keep making themes.

It sucks when:

* you take your dirty socks off and the smell's so bad they walk themselves into the laundry

It sucks when:

You run out of petrol (gas lol) 50 miles from the nearest station.

" because your wife didn't fill the tank and you can't say a thing because you want some action.

OMFG!!! I've been discovered!!!

which leads to...

* it's been a long time since you've seen yourself pee ...

Hey! I resemble that!

OK....I think it sucks that irons have a "Permanent Press" setting, because as hard as I try....I don't get it.

It sucks when your day feels like reruns of the Days of our Lives.

It sucks when all you seem to accomplish is the same thing you did the day before.

It sucks when the bottom of the barrel starts looking good.

And...life in general just plain sucks!

It sucks when:

* you're peeing in two streams.... and both miss the bowl.

* you're taking a dump and somebody 'glad-wrapped' the bowl.

* you get caught short with the runs in 'spandex'... then realise you're still wearing bicycle clips.

* you're at the beach in speedos and have a fart with lumps in it.

* you have to provide a 'stool sample' and get it all over your hands while aiming it into the miniscule opening of the provided container.

It sucks when....

the first time you go to bed with the new person in your life you take off your underwear and throw them at the wall and they stick.

It sucks when:

* the new person in your life starts screaming out their own name during climax.

* the new person in your life agrees to sleep with you.... only if you put a bag over your head.

* the new person in your life puts a bag over their own head... just in case yours falls off.