RadialFX, you did the only right thing, and more power to you. Better luck in the future.

Sorry for your loss.  It's for teh better though.

Glad to see you did something about it. To many people these days just look the other way when it comes to other people.

Man that's crazy..

but i think your better off out of it mate....

Let's hope she and the two boy's can get some good help...

I really want to thank everyone here at WC. It's really easy to overlook the true support you get on here. I really do hope they get the help they need. It's really sad but this is truly how things pass from one generation to the next without any bad intentions. My counselor is a really great one. I raised 2 boys by myself, their mother moved out of state when they were 5 and 10 so I had them 24/7's. They suffered alot of seperation anxiety and she really helped them so much. I have confidence that she'll handle this in a manner that will be a real benefit for them. I'm also real sure that in the early going I'm gonna get called everything in the book at some point. But.....I don't think she'll be able to come up with anything I haven't been called before! he,he Anyway, thank you everyone, very much!! RAD

Thats not such a bad thing.. chin up.. move on.

Like....'socially aware' and 'responsible adult'....;)

http://www.bluelight.com.au/smart_handbook.html The 'Kidsmart' handbook is one of the 'bigger' expenses I subscribe to.

Helps make up for all those 'strange' people out there that put children's safety low on their list of priorities...for whatever reason...;)

 

Exactly. The welfare of the kids should be the top priority here.

What?  :NOTSURE: 

Unrefined......yet delightfully tacky!! ROFLMAO!!!

You did the right thing, Rad! They might not think so now, but further down the track they will see it was for the best and thank you for defusing a complicated situation that could only have gotten worse. As it is, because these boys have grown up to believe this is normal behaviour, they are going to have issues with establishing and maintaining normal relationships in the future, particularly with women and kids, and the longer it went on the more collateral damage there would have been.



Of course it wasn't, not after 3 years and naturally forming an attachment, but more power to you for sticking to your guns and doing what you know had to be done in everyone's better interests.



Been there done that and know this only too well. You form an emotional bond and sort of don't want to believe what they're doing is all that wrong, sort of turning a blind eye and thinking "maybe it's just me and am I making a mountain out of a molehill." I went through this with my 1st wife when she could have been behaving much better - and I kept hoping things would change for the better after expressing my concerns - but at the end of the day I knew that I had to stop hoping and making excuses and end the relationship. It wasn't the easiest thing for me to do, being that I believe kids need their mother, but it was the right decision for everyone concerned, especially my kids because they weren't influenced by a drug affected mother in their daily lives.

Anyhow, Rad, you've done the right thing and I hope good/better things are there for you on the horizon... so go get 'em, mate.

OMG!

You did the right thing by leaving and do not look back.


Report it to the proper authorities. She may think its All Innocent, But to the real world and to child protection agencies, It raises all sorts of red flags.


You are doing the right Thing. It needs to stop.


I wish you luck.

dont worry radial, i question stuff all the time too....probably too much, glad you ended it, I was thinking along the lines of incest also......

RadialFX,

It's normal, and refreshingly open minded of you, to consider all the options, seek consultation from multiple sources (like here), and then act on what you then conclude is the right course of action. Too many people today just look the other way, assuming it is "none of their business". But in this case, she clearly has a psychological issue that needs counseling and it's best to happen NOW before this starts to take on the appearance of something abusive/sexual. Hopefully it is not actually at that stage, and nothing you have said so far seems to indicate that. Odds are her misplaced attachment/affection issues developed as a result of the divorce from the father, which means she should have stopped when the two of you became intimate/involved. Since it apparently didn't, therapy is needed immediately. The good news is that it is very possible that she can learn to sleep without these "companion substitutes" and return to a healthy autonomous relationship with her children. At that point, perhaps your relationship with her could continue in a similarly healthy manner? But only AFTER she's dealt with the underlying psychological issues, of course.

Best of luck to you (and to them) either way.

I just meant to say there is some mental problem so a psychoanalyst or a psychiatrist can better cure them.. at least for the children...
Since he loved her for three years why he could not realize it before and when he realized he will put her behind the bars.... What will be future of her children then.. who will feed them.. She is their mother not enemy nor this is a case of child abuse... Its a state of mental disorder... Great love! ...why don't try to cure her...instead of using use and throw policy.... three years of togetherness isn't a less time.....you can't deny the moments you had.....
True the girl is barbaric but u are civilized, use the assets civilization has provided to you... get them cured not curbed....
TO REMOVE EVILS DOES NOT MEAN KILL THE DEVILS....It means to remove evils from them...purify their heart...
Thats what our Father Of Nation- Mahatma Gandhi... used to say.......

Conclusion: Consult a psychologist..
Read wikipedia or psychology.com....liberalize your mind or love was false....
I know I am harsh but at this little age.. I have faced two betrayals....
Take my karma away for being me such... but I will do until u get them treated by a psychologist...
I am getting late for my school ...bye.....

SEE THE GOODS FIRST THEN THE BADS....... Good is that she loves you.. Bad is that she loves children too!!!! But another good she can be cured........

It was suppose to be!

And yes Rad....you did the right thing! Tell her not to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out. And who cares what anyone calls you...at least it won't be pervert or registered sex offender!

A person with a prude perspective will see this situation as bad and should be reported.

A person with an extremely open perspective will see this situation as.. ok enough is enough. It's time to seperate from your babies.

Lots of families see each other naked all the time. Should they be reported because the children are being exposed to nudity? I don't think so.

Point being.. It's a far stretch from having an open lifestyle to registered sex offender.

I grew up next door to a very outspoken and open family. I have seen the love that comes when fear is removed. It's not all as bad as it sounds sometimes.   

Before? Commenting to him on her son's genitals, and touching one's mother's buttocks while naked isn't sexual? Weeellll....who would define that as an appropriate filial relationship, apart from Lot's daughters, that is?



Yeah....what would she do with YOUR children, RadialFX? Think of the damage she could cause!



I don't think in a "prudish" manner, Night Train. There are appropriate relations and inappropriate. There are legal and illegal activities. As a Physician, I would be required to report this immediately. This is an unhealthy situation and an abusive one. Opposite sex parents need to know when (if it's ever justified beginning this "showering"/grooming and bed behavior) to stop it. Normal adults just don't do this stuff. The open relationship you describe in your one time neighbors is fine if it stops short of inappropriate nudity and touching/grooming activities.

Don't confuse responsible parenting with 'prudish'.

Adults are [their] children's guardians.  They do not own them.

This is resolved, anyhow.

Not much to say.

Just "wow".

If I shake my head any more vigorously, I'm likely to shake it loose from my shoulders, then onto the floor, at which point I'll kick it into the kitchen, out the door, and down the hill, ultimately into the ocean where it'll be fish food that will likely be harvested, then served to droves of meandering minions from the cruise ships for, truly, "brain food".

I dunno about in the US, but the authorities here in (Queensland) Australia view this sort of thing rather dimly and will intervene. I recently read of a case where a 'naturalist' couple were charged with lewd and laviscious behaviour, inappropriate sexual conduct and had their teenage children forcibly removed from the family home... despite the kids testifying there had never been anything inappropriate or sexual between their parents and themselves.

Taking the kids away was probably a bit of overkill in the circumstances - as in reading far more into it than there really was and erring too far on the side of caution - but that's the way of things these days, where child protection has become a priority. Sadly, despite our vigilance, the incidence of 'real' child abuse hasn't diminished... if anything it is on the rise because the courts are too soft and consequences to paedophiles are minimal.

You are talking about rubbing soap on her ass.


You are talking about junior high school age. Hormones have kick in on the oldest child. It is beyond nudity at rubbing soap on her butt. this is now touching.


A 13 year old is no long a kid and has become a young man.


It needs to be stooped before it turn into something like molesting. And I pray it has not gone that far yet.


13 year old is not a kid any more.

As this is in the forums here. Wincustomize needs to report it too.

No, this is a simple discussion re giving advice for appropriate action on the part of a site member.

The alleged issue occured offsite and is irrelevant to, and bears no connection to the site itself...;)