Bush/Kerry, Punditry of the Left/Right, and Clown Phallus

One man's witty banter is another man's Jackassery.

from JoeUser Forums

            For those of you out there debating the John Kerry/Swifty-Bush/AWOL “issues” let me give you a hint : stop.

            I don’t know if you realize this yet but this is not winning either side any new voters. That’s right not a one. Both sides have gotten so far into their own demagoguery that they don’t even realize that this is a side show attraction and not an election issue.

            Pundits on both the left and the right have become caricatures of themselves much like Lil Jon. Two guys at the circus wearing a donkey and elephant costume taking turns slapping each other across the face with a slightly different versions of a brightly colored, floppy rubber, clown cock. Each of them simultaneously believing that the small crowd of people watching them are there because they too love clown cocks. In reality these idiots are not int the center ring of the circus but are actually in the sideshow next to the geek that bites the heads off of live sheep.

            How about this, talk about some issues. Find something that the undecided voter gives a shit about and discuss it. Lets start with abortion, gay marriage rights, the federal budget, health care, or even school vouchers. No matter where the pundits stand on these issues it would be a step up from a clown cock deathmatch over things that two people might have done 30 fucking years ago! Hey baby boomers, get over it. Deal with your inadequacy issues from the Vietnam era like everyone else of your generation did, namely hiring hookers who will call them “daddy” in bed. I assure you that after a few years of diligent application this therapy will make you feel like your dick is longer than the that pathetic little meat puppet really is. Maybe then you can rejoin the rest of society in this thing we like to call the Now.

            Either find a real topic to talk about or u\you will find yourself like two (partisan) cats fighting over a toy while the third cat (the undecided voter) has already given up to go lick it own rectum and beg for some Pounce treats.

 

 

 

P.S. This was my 100th article BTW. From other bloggers you could have expected something special and thought provoking… From me you get clown cocks and cat rectum.
politics
12,790 views 31 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

, namely hiring hookers who will call them “daddy” in bed

sir, ill have you know that was no hooker.  she was an assistant hostess at last year's promise keeper convention. 

Ashes of the Singularity II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
How about... seperation of church and state? Bush's delerium and delusions of grandeur putting him alone at the right hand of ghod with only the armies of darkness (namely the entire arab nation, france, germany, and his repressed homosexuality) to stand between him and eternal salvation.

Bush is the antichrist. How about them apples.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Excellent!

Now this is entertaining and provocative food for thought all rolled into one tidy irreverent package.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

Bush is the antichrist. How about them apples.

this would be more at home on negrodamus blog Sangus. I would have given you a trolling for this but you never registered. The entire article was about actually discussing issues without being a retard about it. I have seen your reason in action before and you can better, a LOT better than tripe like this.

 

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
I havn't read his blog yet, however I very well might. The fact is im a piss poor debater when it comes to politics. I don't particularly appreciate Kerry, however I abhor the very fabric that bush was rendered from. This leaves me only with Kerry as an option. You all know me to be a Liberterian at heart which puts me out of the running for elections anyway.
Bush's views on abortion, gay marriage, the middle east, the environment, social reform, economy, and a few other unmentionables are all driven by his greed and perception of self as a crusader. I believe that we need to maintain the balance. This shift over the past few years towards the conformist conservative christian republican cult is beginning to have extremely hostile ramifications throughout the world. If they gain too much more of a grip in our judicial and political systems the only alternative will be an uprising of civil war proportions (as mankind still has not been able to overcome his self-destructive tendencies) that i would rather not be a part of. Throughout history the only consistently peaceful religions and governmental systems were those that focused on the maintenance of balance.

The balance must be maintained. There is... another... sky..walker. I feel like I'm already in the handbasket.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

 

are all driven by his greed and perception of self as a crusader

     You started out well Sang but there is no possible way for you actually know this. Stick to the facts and your opinions on the issues. How can you specualte on why someone else has a position on an issue any more than I would know the inner reasons you have for yours?

conformist conservative christian republican cult

So the I am one of these too Sang? I think not. This is simplistic and unworthy.

the only consistently peaceful religions and governmental systems were those that focused on the maintenance of balance.
 

     Aside from the Swiss and other tiny nations who are foruntate enough to be in totally undesireable positions geo-politically.... who are these fabled nations?

The balance must be maintained.
 

     I agree with balance when the wolrd scene is stable Sangus, but when the world becomes imbalanced on its own (9/11 and the rise of Wahabbism) then action must be taken. Will Kerry continue to take action? I doubt it. While I do not agree with many of Bush's policies (fiscal ireesponsibility, no child left behind, gay marriage, abortion rights, and faith based anything in government) I simply can not countenance Keryy who has repeatedly shown his own positions to blow with the wind. The man is not action oriented in any way which is the core of my dissatifaction with him. Just like any leader you can do something right or do something worng, but very very rarely is the answer to a problem doing nothing at all. The U.N. has proven this maxim time and time and time again.

 

 

 

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
I agree, the mudslinging this term is wearing thinner than the difac soup. Issues, please, issues....
and my cat too, was offended by the Pounce reference.......but strangely amused by the clown cock picture......wierd little beast,
furthermore he never licks his rectum like a pathetic canine.......he drags it across my carpet and leaves skid marks!
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Congrats on your 100th article. This one, like most, is timely, insightful and forceful. Some people need to have a picture drawn for them to understand the point. You certainly provided that in this one.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh...wow. I just saw the clown cock. Disturbing to say the very least. How?.....Why?.....You know...sometimes its just better *NOT* to ask questions.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
The inspiration for this was two-fold... first off SPC Ecstatic was stretching metaaphors/analogies past the limits of sanity yesterday and then on the way home I heard Hannity ranting on about the Swift boat B.S. This conjured forth an image of Hannity and Colmes on the field of battle dramatically slapping each other across the face with the clown cocks... it was so vivid (I even heard the *THWAP* sound of the clown cock impacting jowl) that I nearly swerved off the road laughing.... Perhaps the mental imagery is not as funny to you but I thought it bore writing.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
grey,

Are you moonlighting as a clown cock salesman perchance?
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

Are you moonlighting as a clown cock salesman perchance?


If I had the merchandise I am sure I could make a killing leading up to the election!

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
(I even heard the *THWAP* sound of the clown cock impacting jowl)


Thats not really that suprising considering how familiar that sound must be to you with how often you must have heard it reverberating through your skull during my repeated manhandlings of you.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

manhandlings

You were the one getting his head smacked into the tarmack as I recall.

Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
Back to the topic at hand...I am seriously thinking this MAY be "the year of the independent". I see no independent with any chance of gaining even a plurality, but I think that voters are disgruntled enough that there will be surprisingly strong numbers of independent votes in certain areas (Nader in Cali, east coast, Badnarik (LP candidate) in Nevada, Montana, Buchanan [if he's even running] in bible belt states).
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
Allright, time for a match in the circle of death. Clown cock battle to the finish!
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
Another attempt to re-rail this (unless Clown Cock Fights were what grey intended, and then this is woefully Off Topic):

I find myself tilting towards what some would call a "throw-away" vote for an Independent. I'm not fond of the two major parties right now, and I'd like to help an Independent party earn the campaign fund matching from the federal government. (From what I understand, they have to obtain a certain amount of the voters in order to qualify.) I think that Independent parties right now are serving the purpose that Gideon attributes them.
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top

I find myself tilting towards what some would call a "throw-away" vote for an Independent.

I too am fighting with this urge.

Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
This conjured forth an image of Hannity and Colmes on the field of battle dramatically slapping each other across the face with the clown cocks... it was so vivid (I even heard the *THWAP* sound of the clown cock impacting jowl) that I nearly swerved off the road laughing.... Perhaps the mental imagery is not as funny to you but I thought it bore writing.


No, no, I got the mental imagery on this one and it's hilarious!!! Good thing I never read anything on your blog with a drink in hand!
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top

shouldnt the combatants first engage in a more fundamental battle to determine control of the singular clown cock to which the title alludes?

Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
I find myself tilting towards what some would call a "throw-away" vote for an Independent


I hate hate hate the idea of this....

It sucks, it really does. Because really, it seems like right now, any vote is a "throwaway"
Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
In texas your throwaway vote will weigh much more than it would up here for example where a vote for someone like Kerry or Bush could have huge weight.

(i just mean that Texas is voting for Bush again so you guys can't do much but fluff his already perky nipples or throw=away to someone like Nader hehe)