You want to know who's a good journalist?

Eureka!

Do you want to know how to tell how good a journalist is at first glance? I have developed an equation to tell you.

A journalist's merit is inversely related to their appearance.

Now, don't scowl at me like that, I'm not being nasty. In fact you could almost go so far as to say it's a compliment. See, if you're a really ugly journalist you can comfort yourself with the fact you're a great hack; and if you're a bit of an airhead when it comes to business and politics at least you're a hottie, right? For those in the middle ground, they can live an easy life where they write adequate copy and can walk down the street without people throwing rotten fruit and vegetables at them. Everyone's happy!

There are a few kinks in the equation, I'll admit. Female television journalists display the relationship most accurately, with a few exceptions, notably Jana Went from 60 Minutes, who is both beautiful and a shrewd wordsmith. I'm sure there are a few others. At the other end of the scale I find Ray Martin's hair a little scary (it hasn't changed in 40 years, and I haven't even been alive that long) and I find him repellent both as a physical specimen and a journalist.

The best supporters of my theory are Channel 9's political reporting veteran Laurie Oakes, who I think may be related to Shrek, and Natalie Whatshername from A Current Affair whose shiny-haired stick insect form can often be seen chasing some "shonky-pyramid-scheme-wheedling-con-man-with-the-messiest-house-in-Queensland" down a street with a microphone and camera.

*shudders*

I'm thanking the patron saint of internet traffic tonight that this blog doesn't have too high a readership -- I don't have anything suitable to wear to a defamation hearing.

I'm also thanking The Melbourne Age's political columnist Michelle Grattan for inspiring this article -- she is one GREAT journalist.

Don't have sex or swear... in prime time,

Teegs

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