Utter Sadness Continues
Possible depression?
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I admit, I may have great chemical imbalances in my body. Sure, it may just be something that the doctor can fix with a drug, seeing as how it does seem to run in my family. My mother has some form of depression that requires drugs.
But why me? Why is it that everything goes wrong in my life, and I sink away, to fade into nothingness? Let's examine what's wrong, and why I think or know it's my fault.
Parents arguing: Sure, all couples argue at one point. But why must they argue about me, my mom always defending me, my father yelling at her for defending me? Why do they have to argue about mundane things, like my mother's drinking problem (that she won't admit to), or my dad's anger? Why do they have to argue about my nephew and sister in law all the time? I just don't know what to do. Sure, most of the arguments aren't my fault or deal with me, but those that do hurt, big time.
Work: Sure, most everyone hates their job. But do they hate it enough to want to blow the place up? I'm not going to do anything like that, but sometimes... it's tempting. I'm not too keen on explosives anyways, but every day I walk into my job, my heart sinks, and I just need to escape it. I could get a new job, but there's nothing available (yet) out here, and the few places I have applied have turned me down. Why me?
Friends: Sure, they aren't the greatest bunch around, but I get along with them fine. However, sometimes it just feels like they are using me, even when they aren't. It's one of those things where when I want to hang out, they don't, and when they want to hang out, they force me to hang out. It's not like I don't mind hanging out with them, but
But why me? Why is it that everything goes wrong in my life, and I sink away, to fade into nothingness? Let's examine what's wrong, and why I think or know it's my fault.
Parents arguing: Sure, all couples argue at one point. But why must they argue about me, my mom always defending me, my father yelling at her for defending me? Why do they have to argue about mundane things, like my mother's drinking problem (that she won't admit to), or my dad's anger? Why do they have to argue about my nephew and sister in law all the time? I just don't know what to do. Sure, most of the arguments aren't my fault or deal with me, but those that do hurt, big time.
Work: Sure, most everyone hates their job. But do they hate it enough to want to blow the place up? I'm not going to do anything like that, but sometimes... it's tempting. I'm not too keen on explosives anyways, but every day I walk into my job, my heart sinks, and I just need to escape it. I could get a new job, but there's nothing available (yet) out here, and the few places I have applied have turned me down. Why me?
Friends: Sure, they aren't the greatest bunch around, but I get along with them fine. However, sometimes it just feels like they are using me, even when they aren't. It's one of those things where when I want to hang out, they don't, and when they want to hang out, they force me to hang out. It's not like I don't mind hanging out with them, but
