Poem from the depressed

Emotional High

from JoeUser Forums
I wrote this while on an emotional "high," sitting at the monitor bawling my eyes out. Why? That's hard to explain....

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I sit here, crying,
not because of what they said,
but because I realize it's true,
I'll never amount to anything,
I'm just the loser kid down the street,
holding down a stupid job,
paying for a stupid loan,
unable to live life,
never able to live life,
gazing and the people,
wishing my life was better,
wishing I was happy.

I don't know where I went wrong,
but I can never do anything right,
I always stare off in the distance,
making plans, hoping, dreaming,
but they never come true,
no matter how hard I try,
I stare into my future,
and hope for brightness, happiness,
but see darkness, despair.

I've worked so hard,
to get what I have,
but it now seems futile,
wasted effort,
because no matter how hard I try,
nothing ever works out,
it's always my fault,
and I can never do anything right,
in anyone's eyes,
I always mess up, I always fail.

I try to find love,
every possible way,
but I never win,
never get my dream,
my heart is always broken,
I am a shattered man,
every night the tears run down my cheeks,
and I am unable to stop them,
my eyes no longer glow,
the life has been drained,
I'm a shadow of my former self,
once carefree, now destroyed.

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Edit Follows:
I've finally figured out what I need in life. Stability. I have nothing left to rely on that hold me stable, nothing at all.
My parents constantly argue, my mom is in declining health (as everyone knows), my brother and sister in law are constantly changing their attitude towards me.
My friends come and go as they please, and I can't stand it anymore. I need stability, and only one person has given me the stability I need....
My job keeps changing (we cash payroll checks now! Just what I need...), my car doesn't make me happy, I get sad just looking at it, let alone driving it.

Sweetie, if you read this, thank you. I do appreciate everything you do, a lot. I love you, even though we live so far apart. I can't stress this fact enough. I do love you (be quiet Negotiator, I know what I'm saying), and.... I don't know. The feelings I have can't be expressed in words, try as I might. I don't know what else to say, I just want you to be happy, and that's all that matters. Having you to talk to, to vent to, your (virtual) shoulder to cry on really means a lot. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be happy at all. At least I can wake up every morning and rely on you to talk to. Wow, I'm about to get very repetitive.... but I love you. Thank you sweetie, for everything you do, no matter how small, it means the world to me.
1,149 views 3 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

Man, that was depressing but never fear, unless you are truly selffish, all of us are in the same boat as you! So get yourself some simple pleasures like eating ice cream or trying something new for the day and you should feel better. I am sure that your true love expects you to look after yourself and not moan about the crap parts of life but to blabber about the exitement that you had trying to get your awesome car to start on a cold and freezy morning.

Keep your life simple and clean and you will enjoy it more. Throw out the garbage, clean your house, cook your food and dont forget to wash the dishes.

You are on your way and smile because everybody will smile with you!

Poem for You

Us and Them
Give them the power to choose from
but not at your cost,
Take whatever you can
but don't appear greedy,
Let them think they are mightier
its easier for them to fall,
Feed them with enough energy
so they observe yours, with less superiority,
Dont try to get into their shoes
but walk with them gently,
let them speak first
times your thoughts accordingly,
show them the complete picture - of only what you wanted
them to see,
perfection is only for them
where as you should appear to be, "not"
never aim higher than your mark
aim lower, as your mind shall take you there,
let them live in their mansions
you pave the roads that lead them there,
Dont take credit without foreseeing the cost,
give it to them to take
as you can prove your claim if required,
speak your mind frugally, when in their presence
radiate your energy, otherwise, indifferently
create a presence for them by
stirring the waters with yours,
when acting play your role to the apex.
They should be noticed and constantly appeased
stay with them and try to be their peer,
don't get in the way of a frenzied shark.
Be aware when its feeding time,
mercy or gratitude is always charming
but appealing to ones self interest is rewarding,
swim peacefully amongst them then break the trance,
they should be predictable but not you,
honesty to disarm them is better than the payback price at being dishonest,
the offended person if weaker does not really matter,
what matters is that they seldom forget,
be nice and always wary, the friend and Judas if need required,
as what they do unto you shall always be remembered by only you,
Reform is gradual, is what you know
tell them change is now or never,
be one with yourself and victory can always be yours
but be careful as assuming formlessness
you may become one of them.
Offworld Trading Company
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sherye - who you talking to, Me or thesuer?