If you could, would you?

A question for the married folks.

from JoeUser Forums

For those of us who have been married for a while:

If you could turn back the clock and do things differently, would you choose to keep your virginity until you met your spouse?  I'm not necessarily talking about waiting until you got married...more saving yourself for the person you have chosen to spend your life with.

Also, how long did you wait before having sex with your now spouse?

If I could do things all over again, i think that yes, I would like to wait and have D be my first.  I think that it would make our first...ahem...encounter more significant and meaningful.

As far as how long we waited....well, we had been good friends for 6 months before we started dating, and after we had been on our first 'official' date I think that we waited 3 or so weeks.  I knew I loved him by then, he says he knew that he loved me way before that...and we both knew that we were going to get married so it just seemed like a natural progression.

How about y'all?

8,558 views 9 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
would you choose to keep your virginity until you met your spouse?


I did. I'm very glad. And it was after we were married.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I did. I'm very glad. And it was after we were married.


You know Dev, I wish that I had. Not necessarily waited until after we were married, but waited and been a vigin until I was with D. We have a fantastic relationship as it is, but I think that having been each others 'one and only' in every way would have been fantastic.

He's my one and only...my love, my life, my everything. I really wish I would have waited.
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
If I'd kept my viginity, I would have been nearly 40 before I lost it, so I'm going to say no, I wouldn't change anything. I like to think all my previous encounters (I hope I'm not sounding promiscuous) where training for when we finally got together.

I had known my wife for 20 years before we started dating, but it wasn't long after our first date when we 'did the deed'. As you say, by then we both knew we were supposed to be together, so it was a natural progression.

Good post, Dharma.

Cheers,

Maso
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well, I'm not married yet, but I do wish I could take my virginity back. Ive recently noticed that Im in love with my as of last night fiance Cory, and I wish I could be his first (which I am) and he my first. But unfortunately it's not going to happen that way now. And we can't turn back time, so I'm not going to cry over my "spilt milk" ... lol... that didn't sound quite right, but I think you got what I mean.

By the way, that was a good article!
Ashlynn
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

I like to think all my previous encounters (I hope I'm not sounding promiscuous) where training for when we finally got together.
 

That's where I'm torn at.  If we were both n00bs at the sex game, who's to say that it would have been as fantastic as it was (is)?  If I could have had the previous experiences AND still have been a virgin....but that would have been having my cake and eating it too. 

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

Ive recently noticed that Im in love with my as of last night fiance Cory, and I wish I could be his first (which I am) and he my first. But unfortunately it's not going to happen that way now. And we can't turn back time, so I'm not going to cry over my "spilt milk" ... lol... that didn't sound quite right, but I think you got what I mean.

You recently noticed this? ....I'm kidding, I know what you mean.

I know too what you mean about not crying over spilt milk.  It's done, and there's nothing you can do about it...virginity is like a balloon: one prick and its gone forever.

Congratulations on the engagement....and welcome to Joe User!

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
I wrote a piece once for a magazine once declaring myself to be a born again virgin. I was single at the time, pining over the loss of my most recent lover and I had the idea that if I was a born again virgin, then I could dump all the luggage I'd accumulated from previous relationships i.e. the hangups, insecurities, bad memories etc and start again. Like you say, though, it is like having your cake ect.

I am going to see if I can find the article and I'll put it up here.

Cheers,

Maso
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

Last night at work, someone asked me if I was "expecting" because I was having weird cravings.

One of my coworkers said, "Nah, we all know Trinitie still has her "V" card.

Just wandering, is there something about us that gives it away? 

Trinitie

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
I guess I'm lucky then because I'm married to the man who took mine! I met my now husband when I was 18 going on 19. We dated and had a courtship and didn't get physical until one year later. It sounds ancient in these days but that's how it was. (blame my upbringing!) I wanted to wait and he respected that decision. It wasn't an easy wait and he wasn't a virgin!