This Amendment Bans What Now?
With Help from Jon Stewart
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
(I know this is old news by now, but I haven't been on until now and I wanted to give my two cents on it)
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Flag burning you say? Ah. Well, I can see that. After all, like Jon Stewart said: "Today the House passed an amendment to ban the burning of the flag, thus ending the Iraqi insurgency."
What importance does this have? Really? Why do we need an amendment to ban burning of the flag? I already believe that it is protected by the First Amendment. Well, I guess if you can pull together a good argument I might be swayed into its relevance, maybe even supporting it.
"Ask the men and women who stood on top of the Trade Center," said Rep. Randy (Duke) Cunningham, R-Calif. "Ask them and they will tell you: pass this amendment."
...what? What? They will tell us to pass this amendment? Really? Well, thank you, oh-great-reader-of-minds. Thank you for telling us their political beliefs. I bow before your utter knowledge of what people will support! Oh, but don't worry. That isn't their best argument for it.
"Some say that this amendment violates the first amendment. It does not."
Oh. Well, there we go! All my worries are over. It doesn't! I have seen the light! How could I have not seen it before!? His argument is so superb I cannot help but recognize the complete wisdom! This man should be president! After all, he has some of the best reasons for things I have ever heard!
All right, I'll go a bit lighter on the jokes now. Clearly, I do not support this amendment. But that's not really what I'm picking apart here. It's the reasoning of the representatives that I'm picking apart. I mean, the arguments that I've seen so far, uh, not so good. These are our elected officials! They should be able to debate better than this! If this kind of stuff can win, imagine if someone who could express ideas clearly and rationally got in. My God, they would control Congress! But rest assured, citizens of America, I don't think that will be happening any time soon. A man can dream though, eh?
Link
Flag burning you say? Ah. Well, I can see that. After all, like Jon Stewart said: "Today the House passed an amendment to ban the burning of the flag, thus ending the Iraqi insurgency."
What importance does this have? Really? Why do we need an amendment to ban burning of the flag? I already believe that it is protected by the First Amendment. Well, I guess if you can pull together a good argument I might be swayed into its relevance, maybe even supporting it.
"Ask the men and women who stood on top of the Trade Center," said Rep. Randy (Duke) Cunningham, R-Calif. "Ask them and they will tell you: pass this amendment."
...what? What? They will tell us to pass this amendment? Really? Well, thank you, oh-great-reader-of-minds. Thank you for telling us their political beliefs. I bow before your utter knowledge of what people will support! Oh, but don't worry. That isn't their best argument for it.
"Some say that this amendment violates the first amendment. It does not."
Oh. Well, there we go! All my worries are over. It doesn't! I have seen the light! How could I have not seen it before!? His argument is so superb I cannot help but recognize the complete wisdom! This man should be president! After all, he has some of the best reasons for things I have ever heard!
All right, I'll go a bit lighter on the jokes now. Clearly, I do not support this amendment. But that's not really what I'm picking apart here. It's the reasoning of the representatives that I'm picking apart. I mean, the arguments that I've seen so far, uh, not so good. These are our elected officials! They should be able to debate better than this! If this kind of stuff can win, imagine if someone who could express ideas clearly and rationally got in. My God, they would control Congress! But rest assured, citizens of America, I don't think that will be happening any time soon. A man can dream though, eh?
