ARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

from JoeUser Forums

I'm having a bad back day.

I would do almost anything to rid myself of the burning, throbbing, aching sciatica that's running down my legs.  This is the worst it's been, ever.

The thing is, I know WHY I'm having a bad back day.  I have to go to the doctor this afternnon and, after I plead with him to temporarily put me out of my misery somehow, I'll have to explain just HOW I hurt myself this time.

*blushing*

I have a.....a.....fornication related injury.  Yes, you read it right.  Yes, you can get hurt having slightly rougher than usual sex, just ask the millions of dudes who have 'fractured' their penis' in much the same way I hurt my back again.

All it took was one good thrust on his part, a temporary instability on my part...and bob's your uncle.  Back pain, searing, nauseating back and leg pain.

I don't know whether to be ashamed that I'm so fragile that I get hurt getting laid, glad that I actually got some, or proud of my husband that he's got enough power to injure a person.

Oh the shame.....oh the pain!

7,826 views 27 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
You better watch out or he'll break you in half girl! hehe.

Sorry to hear that you're back is bothering you. I hope you feel better soon!
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I've heard of screwed up backs, but I never took the term literally!!! Maybe you need to do it on the other side of the bed next time, just to push it back? ;~D

I too am sorry to hear of your back pain!! I'd be hobbling to my chiropractor at this point!! ;~D
Siege of Centauri
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
While I'm so sorry you're back is bothering you again, I couldn't help but laugh at the cause!

Hope you get some relief soon.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Argh ... not a pleasant experience. Still, when I'd have to choose between getting an injury while getting laid, and never getting laid at all ... well, there isn't much to decide, is there?

Get well soon! After all, in all likelihood you still have something to finish. *cough* sorry
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
I hope the doctor can make your back all better. And next time, do something different so you don't break yourself again
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

I've heard of screwed up backs, but I never took the term literally!!! Maybe you need to do it on the other side of the bed next time, just to push it back? ;~D

Damn you stole my pun!

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sorry that you are hurting, but that is tooooo funny!
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
K~

I needed a chuckle. Thanks for your story...but I hope that you're feeling better.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
K~

I needed a chuckle. Thanks for your story...but I hope that you're feeling better.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

You better watch out or he'll break you in half girl! hehe.

Hehe.....

Maybe you need to do it on the other side of the bed next time, just to push it back? ;~D

That's not how I got hurt..he shoved, my head hit the headboard, my back arched the wrong way...and there you have it.

 

While I'm so sorry you're back is bothering you again, I couldn't help but laugh at the cause!

I know, it is pretty funny, huh?

After all, in all likelihood you still have something to finish

No, I was finished before that....but he thought he had accomplished something really spectacular because I was groaning with pain!

 

And next time, do something different so you don't break yourself again

Hey, he's leaving for 6 months next week...we have to...um...make up for lost time?

 

sorry your back petered out...

Heheh...nice one!

Sorry that you are hurting, but that is tooooo funny!

That's almost exactly what my doctor said!

 

I needed a chuckle. Thanks for your story...but I hope that you're feeling better

I'm glad I made you laugh Marcie!

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
No, I was finished before that....but he thought he had accomplished something really spectacular because I was groaning with pain!


It is one of the ironies of life that expressions of extreme gratification, and extreme pain look and sound the same. ;~D
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Don't worry about it. People have been hurt far worse during intercourse. If you want to hear the worst I've ever heard of, you'll need to ask since it's very, very not safe for work, children, or the average person's sanity.
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top

If you want to hear the worst I've ever heard of, you'll need to ask since it's very, very not safe for work, children, or the average person's sanity.

ooooh, do tell!

Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
People have been hurt far worse during intercourse.


Too true! Most the hurt I've seen from intercourse didn't involve an actual partner! ;~D
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
Too true! Most the hurt I've seen from intercourse didn't involve an actual partner! ;~D


For the last time, I don't know how the lightbulb got there! Okay?!



Well... I was just trying to find my gerbil... really...
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
To start this off, this earned the guy a Darwin Award. No, this isn't the stapling one. It's far, far, worse.

~~~NWS from beyond this point!~~~

So, this guy and girl decide to have some fun outdoors. Not checking the weather, they head off to the top of a hill and start going at it like sharp knives, with her on top. That's important, actually. But, there's a thunderstorm brewing, and before you know it, ZAP!

She gets hit by lightning. The girl dies instantly, and the guy only gets knocked out. Unfortunately, the current melts their condom, fusing them together at the genitals. Yeah, ouch.

So eventually, he wakes up, vomits from the pain of melty genitals, and passes out again from same pain. Now, whatever he ate must have smelled good, because a passing bear was attracted to them, and says, "Hey! Free vomit and carrion!" And begins eating the deceased girl.

Again, he wakes up and is suitably freaked out even more. He begins crawling away, very feebly. He is then discovered by some passerby. But no, not just ANY passerby.

(This is the clincher, here. This next part makes the entire story worth it, especially if you have a vivid imagination.)

It turns out, that a Girl Scout troop was hiking nearby, and finds this mess. I'm going to repeat that, as it bears repeating.

A GIRL SCOUT TROOP.

Imagine that. Please.

So, they get him and what's left of the girl to a hospital. While he didn't die, he DID remove himself from the gene pool, since his penis wasn't... good after the surgery to seperate them. And that's the main point of a Darwin Award, after all. The removal from the gene pool part.

And there you have it! Google "Darwin Awards" to find more twisted shit.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply By: zweihander01Posted: Wednesday, March 09, 2005

You should have blogged that!  It is one for the Darwin awards!

Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
the current melts their condom, fusing them together at the genitals. Yeah, ouch.


Yet another reason condoms are evil.

"But, baby, we might get struck by lightening."
"In my parents basement?!"
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top

"In my parents basement?!"

last line: "It has been known to happen!  My Mother's brother's sister's cousin's uncle's friend had it happen to him!"

Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
You should have blogged that!  It is one for the Darwin awards!


I think I read it in one of the Darwin Awards books a couple years ago.

last line: "It has been known to happen!  My Mother's brother's sister's cousin's uncle's friend had it happen to him!"


"Yeah, baby, you seen him, the one who walks all funny."
Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh Dharma, sorry to hear about you poor back. I'm also sorry I didn't see this earlier so I could use all the bad puns others have used. I tried really hard not to laugh, but...

Hope you're starting to feel better.