Screw the Super Bowl
who's with me?
JoeUser Forums
It's that annual time when I watch the rest of the country go slightly loopy for something I couldn't care less about. Welcome to Super Bowl Sunday in America.
I feel like a Sikh on Christmas.
("Super Bowl" is a registered TradeMark of the NFL -- Niggardly Freaking Losers. It is used within this blog without permission. Sue me, you greedy, capitalistic scum. What? Not interested? How about if I start charging admission to my Super Bowl blog? Wait a second, the phone is ringing....)
Ahem... Welcome to "The Big Game" Sunday in America.
I'm not a sports guy. I'm an artsy-fartsy guy. That's the way it's always been, that's the way it will always be. The only sports which remotely interest me are decidedly not populist; sports like long distance running or fencing. (I watched too many Zorro movies as a child. Admit it, though, swords are cool.) My mother's church tried luring me in with their "Big Game" party today. You're barking up the wrong tree, guys. Call me when you have a Monet exhibit.
Watching "The Big Game" hype is like watching a knitting instruction video in Swahili. I can infer the gist, but it's a boring much ado about nothing.
(Okay, having started my journalistic life in a newspaper sports department, I know more about sports than most of my ilk, but that's doesn't mean I give a rat's patoot.)
You'd think this would be a good day for people like me to sneak out and get things done. Nope. Take for instance Disneyland. This day every year tens of thousands of people wake up and think, "What a great day to visit Disneyland. Everyone will be home watching The Big Game. I'll own the park." Almost inevitably they find themselves at Disneyland's busiest day of the year, pressed in so tight their lungs constrict and they lose consciousness. (And, no, not even the "I Fainted At Disneyland" t's are free.)
See, that pernicious Big Game creeps into your existence and chokes out your life no matter how intently you push it away. You're either reacting to it or against it. Should a dumb game really have such a position in our culture and existence? Should we really grovel at the feet of a monopolistic goliath that forces itself into our homes and lives? I say no! I say screw the Super Bowl and the insatiable, rapacious media machine it rode in on!
Rise up, my brothers and sisters! The next time you see someone with self-identity issues walking down the street in a jersey that has someone else's name on it, rip it off their backs! You're doing them a favor. If someone asks you who you want to win The Big Game... if they even mention anything related to The Big Game... punch them in the nose! They deserve it.
Right now, get up from your computing desks, go to the window, open it up, and shout out, "I'm NFL'd out and I'm not going to take it any more!"
There, now don't you feel better?
