You might be a Right winger if... (a response to Dr Guy)
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For many years Right wingers have been refusing to do things like wearing big silly hats with flashing neon signs proclaiming their Right wingedness. Instead they expect us to work it out by listening to their arguments. As a result, identification for the purpose of culling has been very difficult over the years. So, as a public service here are the early warning signs that reveal if you, or someone you care about, just might be a right winger.
You might be a right winger if.....
You think that if one person gets richer, everyone gets richer.
You believe that bigger profits leads to more jobs rather than more layoffs.
You think that dictating other people’s life choices will make your life better.
You think the world would be a better place if Government stopped interfering in everything (except marriage, abortion, censorship, drugs etc.)
You think AIDS is a homosexual disease.
You don’t think Europeans should have any say in US policy (except the Pope).
You think that if everyone has guns, we will all be safer.
You think everything Michael Moore says is a lie, but you listen unquestioningly to Ann Coulter.
You think the US Democrats and the ALP are Left.
You think that when a journalist is asking a question that they are expressing their opinion.
You believe Fox News’ slogan.
You think that because you like Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice, you can’t be racist.
You think that the entire world wants to be like America.
You think that everyone should get behind Bush because he has won two elections and so is clearly the right man for the job.
You aren’t bothered by having a leader who gives fewer press conferences.
You think that everything of worth has a monetary value.
You deride people who quote John Pilger as part of the Loony Left, but believe Andrew Bolt can provide you all the info you need.
You think symbolism is a waste of time and don’t understand why people get pissed off at you about this.
When someone is upset/crying/depressed, you immediately start trying to find pragmatic solutions.
You think homosexuality is linked to paedophilia.
You think that a benevolent atheist is worse than a selfish Christian.
You think that 51% of the vote gives you a mandate to whatever you like.
You think that when 2/3 of the country refuses to cast a vote, you can get a mandate to whatever you want.
You live on a very comfortable income but you still whinge about paying tax.
You think that Michael Moore’s listeners are mindless “dittoheads,” but you have never doubted anything that you heard from Andrew Bolt, Rush Limbaugh or John Laws.
You think Alan Jones is a good reasonable commentator.
You think destroying cross-media ownership laws will not destroy journalistic integrity because buyers will force the papers to maintain standards.
You think that small business owners would never unfairly exploit a relaxation of unfair dismissal laws.
You haven’t seen Fahrenheit 9/11, you don’t know anyone who has, but you have posted a long blog about Michael Moore’s distortions.
You start sentences with “I’m not a racist, but...”
You believe in encouraging greed as a motivation for betterment.
You’ve never read Das Kapital but you don’t think Communism works.
You think Stalin was a Marxist.
You think Nixon was America's only ever corrupt President.
You think Team America was a shot at the Left.
You tried pot at Uni and it didn’t affect you, but you’re still against it.
You’ve never tried pot but you believe it’s evil.
You’re against pot, but in favour of nicotine.
You think Universities make people smarter if each course is specifically targetted at churning people out, trained up for their jobs.
You think a BA is easy because it has fewer contact hours.
You think anyone who disagrees with Government policy is a traitor.
You think global warming is part of some conspiracy by evil tree-huggers to get us all to give up our CDs and TVs.
You believe in progress but you’ve never thought about what you’re progressing towards.
You believe in judging other cultures by your own objective standards.
You think white people are smart for inventing the wheel, but won’t say sorry for injustices created by your ancestors.
You are more concerned about the sanctity of life than the quality of life.
You think the Koran, which you’ve never read, is a violent book, but the Old Testament is a justified, rational set of beliefs.
You are more concerned with the rights of unborn clumps of cells than living mothers.
You think that because America’s “founding fathers” were Christians, we should all continue to worship God.
You think it’s too much trouble to use an expression like “chairperson”.
You can’t understand why atheists make such a fuss about pledging allegiance to God but you get upset about secular Christmas songs.
You think Christmas is an exclusively Christian holiday.
You take the word of a biologist over a climatologist on global warming.
You consider yourself superior because you have a job.
You still believe in trickle down economics.
You think capitalism is working well, it’s the poor people who aren’t.
You think Communism has been tried (and failed).
For many years Right wingers have been refusing to do things like wearing big silly hats with flashing neon signs proclaiming their Right wingedness. Instead they expect us to work it out by listening to their arguments. As a result, identification for the purpose of culling has been very difficult over the years. So, as a public service here are the early warning signs that reveal if you, or someone you care about, just might be a right winger.
You might be a right winger if.....
You think that if one person gets richer, everyone gets richer.
You believe that bigger profits leads to more jobs rather than more layoffs.
You think that dictating other people’s life choices will make your life better.
You think the world would be a better place if Government stopped interfering in everything (except marriage, abortion, censorship, drugs etc.)
You think AIDS is a homosexual disease.
You don’t think Europeans should have any say in US policy (except the Pope).
You think that if everyone has guns, we will all be safer.
You think everything Michael Moore says is a lie, but you listen unquestioningly to Ann Coulter.
You think the US Democrats and the ALP are Left.
You think that when a journalist is asking a question that they are expressing their opinion.
You believe Fox News’ slogan.
You think that because you like Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice, you can’t be racist.
You think that the entire world wants to be like America.
You think that everyone should get behind Bush because he has won two elections and so is clearly the right man for the job.
You aren’t bothered by having a leader who gives fewer press conferences.
You think that everything of worth has a monetary value.
You deride people who quote John Pilger as part of the Loony Left, but believe Andrew Bolt can provide you all the info you need.
You think symbolism is a waste of time and don’t understand why people get pissed off at you about this.
When someone is upset/crying/depressed, you immediately start trying to find pragmatic solutions.
You think homosexuality is linked to paedophilia.
You think that a benevolent atheist is worse than a selfish Christian.
You think that 51% of the vote gives you a mandate to whatever you like.
You think that when 2/3 of the country refuses to cast a vote, you can get a mandate to whatever you want.
You live on a very comfortable income but you still whinge about paying tax.
You think that Michael Moore’s listeners are mindless “dittoheads,” but you have never doubted anything that you heard from Andrew Bolt, Rush Limbaugh or John Laws.
You think Alan Jones is a good reasonable commentator.
You think destroying cross-media ownership laws will not destroy journalistic integrity because buyers will force the papers to maintain standards.
You think that small business owners would never unfairly exploit a relaxation of unfair dismissal laws.
You haven’t seen Fahrenheit 9/11, you don’t know anyone who has, but you have posted a long blog about Michael Moore’s distortions.
You start sentences with “I’m not a racist, but...”
You believe in encouraging greed as a motivation for betterment.
You’ve never read Das Kapital but you don’t think Communism works.
You think Stalin was a Marxist.
You think Nixon was America's only ever corrupt President.
You think Team America was a shot at the Left.
You tried pot at Uni and it didn’t affect you, but you’re still against it.
You’ve never tried pot but you believe it’s evil.
You’re against pot, but in favour of nicotine.
You think Universities make people smarter if each course is specifically targetted at churning people out, trained up for their jobs.
You think a BA is easy because it has fewer contact hours.
You think anyone who disagrees with Government policy is a traitor.
You think global warming is part of some conspiracy by evil tree-huggers to get us all to give up our CDs and TVs.
You believe in progress but you’ve never thought about what you’re progressing towards.
You believe in judging other cultures by your own objective standards.
You think white people are smart for inventing the wheel, but won’t say sorry for injustices created by your ancestors.
You are more concerned about the sanctity of life than the quality of life.
You think the Koran, which you’ve never read, is a violent book, but the Old Testament is a justified, rational set of beliefs.
You are more concerned with the rights of unborn clumps of cells than living mothers.
You think that because America’s “founding fathers” were Christians, we should all continue to worship God.
You think it’s too much trouble to use an expression like “chairperson”.
You can’t understand why atheists make such a fuss about pledging allegiance to God but you get upset about secular Christmas songs.
You think Christmas is an exclusively Christian holiday.
You take the word of a biologist over a climatologist on global warming.
You consider yourself superior because you have a job.
You still believe in trickle down economics.
You think capitalism is working well, it’s the poor people who aren’t.
You think Communism has been tried (and failed).
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