You people are so retarded...

hehe IR...
I guess your car taught you a lesson not to whiz on the side of the road!

hehe hello Doreen

Oh No! A text version of funniest home videos

hehe Chris...

and hello IR

I did a 14,000 foot tandem skydive a couple of years back, a surprise gift from the (skydive) company itself, because I work in tourism and sell their product. All my buddies were waiting for me to land at the drop zone, and when I did... boys being boys, and it being my birthday and all... had several 'shots' of tequila waiting for me. High on adrenaline, I downed the lot -followed by a few beer chasers.
Word of advice here folks.... massive amounts of adrenaline & alcohol do not sit well in the body.
Sitting in the back of the minivan on the way back home, a familiar rumble in the stomach.... no time to say a word.... I projectile vomited all over the seven folks sitting in front of me.

Call me Mr Popular!

I.R. That was a good one!

...I have too many to mention! Cute thread, gonna watch this one for sure.
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ooooooohh! yuk!

ooooooohh! yuk!

I still haven't lived it down to this day I.R.

Glad you & the doggy are fine. Funny story!

hi Chickie!

@ IR
How funny would've been if the dog would have actually stepped on the brakes?

He was a very clever dog,I almost expected him to do it.

Ofcourse, it would've been even funnier if the dog would've drove off and left you there.

Whats your most ignorant episode?

I dunno about the "most" but I can think of the most recent.

I run Proxomitron on all my machines. I use the last released version with an advanced filter set that's pretty aggresive. So imagine my surprise one day when I got online and started looking at some sites, and getting bombarded by ads. I restarted the browser and tried a couple of other things, nothing helped. Finally I took a screenshot (to show the ads) and posted it on a software forum where I hang out. (the guy who wrote the filters also reads it). I was quite irritated and couldn't understand why the %$### ad blocker wasn't blocking. Someone read the thread and pointed out that the Proxo icon wasn't running in the systray in my screenie.

Um yeah, Proxo blocks ad a lot better if you actually start the program first.

I guess the most retarded thing I have done that comes to mind at the moment was the day I picked up my Kawasaki RD350. I was so excited and was ripping from light to light all the way home. Two blocks from my house I was pulling up to the light a few blocks up the road and this girl was checking me out so I feathered the clutch and cracked the throttle, pulling the front end up and riding it up toward the light and letting it slip down onto both wheels and coasted up to the light. I looked over as the girl in the Mustang pulled up next to me and smiled which turned into a look of horror when I noticed the world falling out from under me.

That was also the moment I noticed that I had not put my foot down...


Oh, one other time my brother was on a walk-board between two ladders and he yelled at me to do something even if it was wrong. I was hung over, hell I was still drunk and I complained and cussed under my breath all the way up to this ladder I needed which I snatched so I could climb up on the roof of the house we were working on. The end of the walk board dropped past my nose and bounced off the pool deck and I was bent over looking for my brother in the pool when I heard from above me. "You going to put that ladder back or do you expect me to hang around up here all day?"

Mike had his arms wrapped around the beam in front of him and was hanging down 8 feet above the deep end of the pool.



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Drugs. Stupid drugs.

Drugs. Stupid drugs.

Is that an offer?!

Okay, here's one. I went snow skiing for the first time in Big Bear with this awesome Blonde with long, long hair/Blue eyes that I met online. Oh, I thought I was a world class skier with babe in tow. I was ahead of her for the first time going down the slope. She passed me, so I planted my skis for extra momentum and I pushed really hard. The next thing I notice, I am going sideways directly into a snow mound, my skis jump a ditch and land directly into the side of the hill. My skis are stuck about five feet above the ground and I am standing on top of them. I think its called a "face plow", just like a comic strip. Boy, did I feel stupid. Shortly after that, she left me. But, no drugs were involved.

When I first read this smurfin thread I was like, "What the smurf are you smurfing about?"

Now I know.

Lets see... what did I smurf that was unsmurfy lately?

Maybe the smurfs game thread?

heheeee!

Lets see... what did I smurf that was unsmurfy lately? Maybe the smurfs game thread?

 

I'd tend to agree with you.....

My most retared moment that comes to mind was when I was 16, and had recently purchased my first car. A 1953 Chevy Coupe. Nice looking car (had a new paint job), but the engine, a flathead 6, needed work (leaked oil like a sieve)...........
One day coming home from my girlfriends house, I was passed by a Ford pulling a boat. Well, I couldn't have that, now could I? So, I floored it, trying to get in front of this Ford, on a twisty, turny country road. All I accomplished was throwing a rod..... But, the worse part is I didn't have enough sense to keep this car, and get it fixed... I sold it for $50, which at time I thought was a great deal, since that's exactly what I paid for it. 

I was teaching a class and asked a question. Nobody answered so I picked someone. You sir, what do you think? Yeah, you sir.




He was a she. Damn classroom was on the 4th floor and there were no windows I could jump out of.

Kawasaki RD350

That should be a "Yamaha RD 350", I've got Ninja on the mind right now but my wife is throughing a fit

Guy dropped by yesterday to ask about my 280zx Turbo in the drive way which is black primer outside and new kid skin interior. He mentioned he has a Ninja 900 and would be interested in making a trade with some cash. My wife won't go for it though

all this talk of smurfs

My best friend and I used to call my son Justin Boo, short for Blue, short for Smurf because we called my wife Smurfett

Dan was 6' 9" tall and my wife is 4' 11" and it looked so goofy when they were side by side

*sigh* haven't thought of Danny in a long time
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