Been MIA For A While

from WinCustomize Forums

I've not been around for a month or so due to having to move house and then settle into the new place.  The new place is bigger, much nicer and has a fourth bedroom for visitors and when the grand-kids come over to stay a few days.  Moreover, we don't have maintenance issues or the leaky roof that we had to endure at the last place because the owner there refused to carry out necessary work.  Once our lease was up we were out of there, but what a major task that turned out to be.

We got a removalist to take the bigger furniture and big items to save us most of the backbreaking work, but still it was a major effort nevertheless.  I did 90% of the packing in the previous two weeks to shifting, then I was loading and unloading a trailer and 4x4 on the day.  By the time we got mostly settled in I was completely knackered.  I say mostly because there's still a number of boxes and containers to unpack, but those aren't so urgent and can be done at our leisure over the next few weeks.

Anyhow, after becoming completely knackered, I decided to take time out and go to the pub for a few beers.  There were no problems getting there - my mobility scooter was fully charged and I had a smooth run along the way - but coming home was a different matter.

This dirty, rotten stinkin' copper pulled me over and booked me for speeding.... reckoned I was doing 80kmph in a 50km zone.  I argued the point but he became even more interested in writing me up for other things.  And the more I argued the more things he found to book me on... like faulty indicators and bald tyres.  Hehe, I kept moving my scooter backwards and forwards so that he couldn't get an accurate tread measurement, so he booked me for obstructing a police occifer in the course of his duties.  He then asked if I'd been drinking, and that's where it got hairier for me.

He pulled out a breathaliser and I told him that 'I was not blowing into that.... that I should pee in a bottle and he should have to drink it to ascertain how much beer I'd had'.  That didn't go down at all well and he again asked if I'd been drinking.  "No" I replied: "If that gadget of yours records a blood/alcohol reading it's wrong."  Instead of beer, I've taken a new form of Viagra because I get it only once a year... and tonight's the night.  Well that did it.  He then booked me for lying to police and arrested me for being a public nuisance into the bargain.

Anyhow, cos I missed out on posting an April Fools gag here, this was it. ;P  :-"  :grin:  

 

 

33,247 views 13 replies
Reply #1 from WinCustomize Forums Top

:thumbsup:

Reply #2 from WinCustomize Forums Top

I've been MIA longer!!

Offworld Trading Company
Reply #3 from WinCustomize Forums Top

:grin: :thumbsup:  

Reply #4 from WinCustomize Forums Top

he even types with an Aussie accent

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Reply #7 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Moving house....

If you put it all in a straight line...my trips from Melbourne to Ballaarat and back would have got me.....

From Melbourne to Perth...and back...

...and to Perth again, and halfway back.

Needless to say I know the Western Highway quite well...;)

Reply #8 from WinCustomize Forums Top

I still read anything Starkers writes with a pirate accent (Jack Sparrow)^_^  

Good to hear your doing well xxx

 

The last huge move I did in Australia was when me and Andrew moved from Dalby (too hot, middle of summer) down to Redcliffe to an apartment across the road from the ocean.  Andrew loved Redcliffe, and I do to, Mum and Dad grew up there, and the BeeJees lived there too when they moved from England...so nice memories.  So our summer became a beach one, fish and chips, daily swims in the ocean, and got adopted by a homeless cat. But Australia got to expensive for us, so we came back to Sweden..and the cat came with us. <3  :meow:  :meow:  

Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting kona0197, reply 2

I've been MIA longer!!

What, Masturbating In Arkansas????:grin:  ;P  

Quoting SamEVO, reply 4

he even types with an Aussie accent

And with just one finger, too.  It confuses me if I use two or more.... it's like I can't figure out which finger does what and when.;P  

Quoting Chasbo, reply 6

starkers, what you need is a custom golf cart! When you need to go out into town.

If only I could afford one.  The mobility scooter cost me $1600 AU 2nd-hand, and that's a big spend when you're on a limited income, so a custom-made golf buggy [even a 2nd-hand one] is well out of my league.  Dad purchased a standard golf cart 2nd-hand years ago, and it cost him about $5,000 way back then.

Quoting Jafo, reply 7

Moving house....

If you put it all in a straight line...my trips from Melbourne to Ballaarat and back would have got me.....

From Melbourne to Perth...and back...

...and to Perth again, and halfway back.

Needless to say I know the Western Highway quite well...;)

That's not very far at all when you add up all my moves.... the first being from the UK to Australia, and I've probably done a few dozen moves of my own since arriving here, twice from Qld to Tassie and back, then the final one from QLD this time around.

Then there's all the moves I did for other people when I worked in the removals industry.... there's literally thousands of those over the years.

Quoting Vampothika, reply 8

I still read anything Starkers writes with a pirate accent (Jack Sparrow)

Good to hear your doing well xxx

Thank you, things are  going well and we're all happy.  As for the pirate accent, I based mine more on Robert Newton's portrayal of Long John Silver in Treasure Island movie and the TV series Long Jon Silver.

Quoting Vampothika, reply 8

But Australia got to expensive for us, so we came back to Sweden..and the cat came with us.

Quite a few people complained about the high cost of living here, and certainly we pay way too much in taxes compared to some countries, and then there's high cost of the essentials of life, but we are doing okay as far as money goes.  We don't have a lot but we manage quite well and can't really complain.  Sure, a extra few bucks wouldn't go astray, but there are many far worse off than we are.

Quoting Vampothika, reply 8

The last huge move I did in Australia was when me and Andrew moved from Dalby (too hot, middle of summer) down to Redcliffe to an apartment across the road from the ocean. Andrew loved Redcliffe, and I do to, Mum and Dad grew up there, and the BeeJees lived there too when they moved from England...so nice memories.

 I always loved Redcliffe when I lived in QLD, as well as Sandgate and Shornciffe.  I worked at Sandgate Woolies as a night-fill manager and live at Shorncliffe facing the sea.  I've never been to Sweden, though.  I would like to but I'm not too sure this old body would appreciate the long flight..... then there's the cost.  Affording it even if everything else was good to go, would be another issue after spending so much to move over here to Tassie again.

Anyhow, thanks to everyone for responding, I appreciate it muchly.

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Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting Vampothika, reply 8

and the cat came with us.
<3  <3  <3  <3  <3  

Reply #11 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting starkers, reply 9


Quoting kona0197,
reply 2

I've been MIA longer!!



What, Masturbating In Arkansas????



I'm no where near Arkansas!! Try the Pacific Northwest!!

Reply #12 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting starkers, reply 9


 

and then there's high cost of the essentials of life

Condoms, Viagra and Beer

*_* *_*  *_*  

Reply #13 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting Aussie007, reply 12


Quoting starkers,
reply 9





 

and then there's high cost of the essentials of life



Condoms, Viagra and Beer

*_* *_*  *_*  

And that's just the top 3 of the list.... 'entertaining' an escort can rack up a hefty bill if the Viagra takes a while to work after a few well-enjoyed beers.... and 'oh shit', I can't find the condoms.

:grin: ;P  :-"