What's the most useless animal pet research ever?

This subject (as well as the 'science' described) doesn't pass the "sniff test". 

for the new generation that cna't reed well

So the researchers are also running in circles and chasing their tails (metaphorically speaking)?

So a dog can align itself in a north/south direction before doing its thing. Will wonders never cease.  

So, dogs at the north or south poles wouldn't know which way to "go"  from those locations, or would they just make one big pile there? Also, space travel would not be recommended.

This brings to mind the age old question of "Why do dogs lick their balls?" because they can

"[...] in a statistically significant way they all [...]"

I love TV anchors trying to sound like they know what they're talking about.

If you are ever lost in the forest without a compass just bring a dog with loose bowels!

That makes me think of a little story: Snowy the dog was running for hours and hours and then had to take a dump. Time to get a short break and to get his bearings. And then continue running... south... or north... he couldn't tell the difference. After a few days of running and taking dumps, Snowy got nowhere.

Gosh what a useless ability, he thought. Cursed that primordial bacteria that invented this ability and made us all shit north or south.

(End of little story)

My mother is kind of alternative, telling that the direction you sleep in is important. I never believed it, what difference does it make as long as you are comfortable and warm? But such research would almost make me doubt... what if she is right? Perhaps I should even face my own toiled north-south, maybe that's more relaxed.

thank goodness those people called their baby North West.... 'cause North South would be a crap name... 

Um, when I was a kid... stretching next-door's chiuahua to see if it could become a sausage dog.

.... or to see if I could create a 3 humped camel and call it Humphrey.

Then there was the time I tried crossing a flea with a gecko and ended up with a leaping lizard.

All totally useless pet research/experiments, but the looks on the faces of the RSPCA folk when viewing the results was priceless.

and it takes a poop story to smoke starkers out of the woodwork....  

Wasn't in the woodwork... rather I was hiding behind a concrete pillar looking for stress fractures.

That explains a lot....;)

starkers sighting off the port bow!!!  The new year is looking better already. Great to see you back in the forums, Sir! 

Starkers! Great to see you around. Hullo to the missus and all the downunder folks. Ah har, ya old pirate!

Thanks Wiz, Seld's and Elana, 'tis good ta see ye all agin, too.

Oh, 'n bring me that thar swab wot pooped on tha deck, will yer?

I 'aves this 'ere tar socked cork ta plug 'im up an' make shure 'e don't do it agin.  Aarrgghh!!!!!