Thanks to all for the suggestions. I went ahead and ordered this morning, but not exactly what I planned before.
HD: I wimped out on the SSD & went for 2 spinners. Like idea of separate boot & data drives and have done it before. Boot drive doesn't need to be huge but smaller drives aren't much cheaper than terabyte drives, so I went with two of the 5-year-warranty WD Caviar Black.
Case: Silverstone PS07B. I (gasp) DROVE to a STORE and decided that the mid-tower cases I had been considering are too big for my taste -- strangely bigger than the mid-towers I've been getting for years at home and at work on build-to-order boxes. Liked the idea of positive pressure design & wanted front usb3 & easy-to-clean filters for sure, so it came down to a choice of that Silverstone or their Temjin. Reviewers seem to prefer the Temjin and think that the important difference between the two is that the Temjin has one big fan while the PS07 has two 120mm fans. *I* think the important difference is that the PS07 is an inch longer, and gives an extra inch of margin on those cases' biggest concern -- the back of the PSU comes close to the back of the dvd/bd drive(s). I've downloaded manuals, checked dimensions, and even the Temjin should barely fit, but the PS07 fits more. Back to the fans -- some NewEgg user comments complain about fan noise on the Temjin, so I went checked for replacement fans and found the NewEgg's only fans in that size are by Silverstone. Didn't want to be locked in to a brand that isn't consistently quiet. The PS07 uses common size fans so no such issue.
PSU: no change. Seasonic 560, modular, 80+ gold. Say what you want about the theoretical inefficiency of modular connectors, by definition it can't be hurting MUCH in a unit that meets the 80+ gold standard. I *hope* the rig might be more reliable with a top-quality psu.
CPU: up to the 2570K. It has the better graphics that might delay the day when I have to buy a graphics card. And I want something fast enough to handle whatever I might want to do in 5 years, like new games. Anyway, I can't bring myself to buy old generation AMD processors when the replacements are due so soon. With Intel Ivy Bridge I won't have to feel obsolete quite as soon
Graphics: still integrated at first. But if I don't need something better for the Fallen Enchantress beta I will for something someday. I'll eventually want Shogun Total War 2 and I hear it is demanding -- part of the reason for a fast cpu and a psu that can handle at least a mid-range card. If I had to do it now, it would be an ATI 7750 or 7770 because they seem to have good idle power consumption.
Memory: went with something that doesn't have tall heat spreaders because the case manual warns that there isn't room. 8 GB for now, but it might get tossed later when/if I need more or faster memory. This is the only possible throw-away component in my list.
Mobo: Asus P8Z77-M. The small case forces an mATX board. Wanted an overclockable mobo because I think/hope that the tougher components to support overclocking voltages might mean longer life & better reliability for non-overclockers. Spent a lot of time reviewing brands and it seemed like Asus was tops for reliability, followed by Gigabyte, MSI & ASRock. (Sorry if I am dissing anyone's favorite other brand). FWIW, when I did a NewEgg power search for the features I want, only 5 brands even had contenders --just the 4 I mentioned + Biostar. User comments seem to knock MSI for recent poor component placement and Gigabyte for intrusive sound drivers (which comes close to one of my old pet peeves). So it came down to Asus & ASRock. Almost ordered a cheaper ASRock, but its manual says it has just 2 case fans, 1 3-pin and 1 4-pin. My case has 2 fans and the Asus has 3 4-pin fan connectors. I don't know much about fan control but I thought I'd better have at least 2 4-pin connectors. So, Asus.
Overclocking: hmmmm.... I lied. Seem to have wandered into an overclockable cpu and an overclockable mobo, so I probably won't be able to resist dabbling a bit.
TV tuner card: order after I see everything else work.
External drive for backups: Toshiba Canvio Basic, 1 Terabyte, usb 3. In tests I ran at work a while ago, a different model Toshiba completely blew away comparably-priced same-size WD & Seagate usb-3 drives. So I go with Toshiba for usb HDs until they give me a reason not to.
I took the cheap, slow shipping options, so it will be a week before I know if I have blundered But if I have, I'm sure someone will be kind enough to let me know in advance
PS: re standby & hibernate: the system that had the problems years ago claimed to have the right features. They just didn't work.