What's that over there?

Whew!  Thankfully after some talking with my fiance over the last few days, I think we both killed the latest dead horse that was in our path enough that we could move on and get back on track, but it seems that we both still have a tendency to let little things bug us and pop-up along the way that distract us and cause us to lose focus.

Granted, with a dwindling number of weeks to go until we go off and get hitched it's somewhat normal for some things to pop up and try to make themselves bigger distractions as we question ourselves as to whether or not we're really ready for what we're about to do, and really, I'd rather these questions come up now and not later when they could prove to be fatal distractions to the relationship.  Which is part of why I personally seem to keep going back and kicking the poor dead horses.

I've told my fiance repeatedly that I am too often driven by fear.  Fear of failure, fear of disappointing, fear that there's the same level of commitment between us, etc.  I'm a bundle of neuroses (and now I fear I misspelled that word ) that obsesses over things at times and worries that the next stupid thing I say or do will be the cause of a permanent rift between us.  I've told my fiance all of these things and let her know that I try not to let these things come between us, but that I can't help being the way I am.  I suppose I could change a little, thanks to therapy sessions and the like, but then I might lose focus in other areas be less capable of doing my job to the best of my ability or being able to function as well as I do and be as devoted and caring as I might be otherwise.  In other words, I fear that if I addressed these fears via therapy I might develop the attitude of the main character in Office Space, after he'd visited the guy that wound up changing his attitude seemingly permanently...  While that might not seem that bad, it could also prove to be disastrous in real life as opposed to the big screen (or small screen if you're watching the film at home).

Anyway, I'm incredibly glad that we've not hit any detours that have been too tough to get through.  Realistically, we've avoided big fights but have had many little ones.  I know those are normal, and really in dealing with things when it's all small stuff, I hope we never have to worry over bigger issues.  I'd rather we address things as they come up instead of filing things away for the future only to load up an entire closet full of issues that could build up to the point of the evilness in the Ghost Buster's film (the evil ooze that flowed beneath the city).