The Rainbow Icicle News

talks with C'tis enter deep chill

Rumors have been flying all around the diplomatic corps.  Sources close to the Smurfette  are abuz with news that the discussions with C'tis have collapsed.  This reporter overheard one Skinshifter complaining to an aide.  They were unaware my long range recording crystal had been feed today and I could listen.  The shifter was upset, almost indignant that the C'tis side of the table was so haughty, so intractable, and refused to offer any inducements to cut a deal.  'What, we are so insignificant we don't matter?' he groaned. 

Later the spokesman for the Palace only stated that the C'tis-ians are honorable, but numbers (2+2) still divide us at the table.

In other news, experimental rituals to create flying elephants are costing peanuts. 

Theorists suggest that there is a reality beyond our world.  Some are even theorizing that new gating rituals must be created to bridge the dimensions and bring to our forces, fictional things like "Vogon Destructor fleets,"  and "warp signatures."  A minority of theorists insist that there are no such things as 'destructor' fleets - they must be 'constructor' fleets.  Others are arguing that warp signatures will not speed up bureaucratic logjams, nor expedite properly authenticating the numerous authorizing documents and scrolls necessary to running any modern bureaucracy.  This is the 34,238th meeting of the committee this year.  One dissenter laments that the committee meeting budget is larger than all project budgets combined. A properly signed authorizing scroll for the current committee report was not available to the public at time the rainbow icicle went to press. 

Well, there's the problem. This was reported to me as "Emperor Ghostwes is such a hottie". No wonder talks broke down. Please apologize to your envoy if the subsequent C'Tissian mating rituals caused any problems for her.

Mating rituals?  It is a problem at times.. they are just so complicated.  remember the village smurfette grew up in?  BTW, the new movie is pretty lame. 

Well...

ABYSIA, THE SMOULDERCONE - Pundits agree, the Sauromatia threat will prove to be too much. Even the optimistic ones will be surprised if Abysia lasts the year.

Though the war has only lasted a single month, and though the forces of C'tis now face an increasingly dangerous incursion from the winged men of Caelum, Abysia finds itself ravaged by the initial onslaught of the Sauromatian forces. "They're simply inhuman" said one Abysian soldier. "Their leaders don't even have names. They go by 2A 3W, or 2D 1W, or some other strange combination of letters and numbers. It's like they're just machines. And they cast spells that wound us regardless of our armor. And they stand way on the other side of the battlefield, so we slow Abysians can't even engage them until it's too late."

A veteran of both C'tisian and Sauromatian battles had this to say: "At least the forces of C'tis engage you head on. Sure, they cast their Nether Bolts, but we have our Fireballs and such to match them. But these Sauromatians... I didn't even get close enough to see one. And it rained all battle, too."

The few surviving Abysian soldiers from the first two battles with Sauromatia are scattered, leaderless, and almost all wounded. The Southwestern edge of Abysian territory now has no army to defend it, after a shocking defeat. Meanwhile, the southeastern fortification is about to fall, overwhelmed by the Sauromatians. Though still a threat to cause damage, there is no question Abysia is a splintered empire, on the brink of destruction.

Make no mistake, people of the world, the Sauromatians are coming, and they kill with a lifeless, mechanical efficiency.

Blood blood blood!!!!!!

We want blood!!!!!!!

Well virgins really.

Anyone?  Tradsies?

Still looking for a sub for Tien Chi in Elementalists. To repeat my previous post:

He has been turtling for many turns now, so I imagine he has a pretty good resource stockpile. I do not think he is currently at war with anyone. We are at the early stages of the late game, I believe. Send me a PM if you are interested.

The war between The Eagle Kings and the unending horde of cold-blooded reavers rages on. Border territories continue to trade hands, while Caelish commandos strike behind enemy lines to relieve the C'Tisian slaves of their yokes. But while the Caelish rule the skies, the C'Tisian necromancers and their perverse power have proven to be a formidable force on the ground.

Anyone else dead yet? Let me know so I can mark it off.

Last turn marked the first time I have ever cast Storm, Storm Power, and Wrathful Skies. I think ghostwes will agree that it was rather more damaging to me than it was to him!

My worst feeling have been confirmed recently - i have to go to Europe for a period of time, between 12 August and 1 September. I asked Wonderloss to cover me during this period, however, he asked if we can have turn 72 hours for this period of time. Let me know guys, if this is ok for you, and please, be generous This is my first game and I want to see its end 

I'm personally fine with going to a 72 hour schedule for that time.  I'm also going to be traveling between mid-August and early September (though within the US, and with regular Internet access). Now, Abysia may be destroyed by then, but if it's not it wouldn't hurt to have a longer deadline, just in case.

If you two like, I can take over your empires while you are gone. I mean, I was going to do so anyway, eventually.

No, I am fine with Wonderloss taking over for my ally Sauromatia. It will be like old times -- seems like only a few months ago that we were allies.

I am too lazy to check. louist, don't you also have some time away in August?

yup, luist mentioned he will look for sub for a week or something 

A week from the 20-27th, as I undertake the infamous West Coast Trail. There is the tiniest chance that I will be late returning (accidents, poor weather, and other such things are not uncommon occurrences), but in my previous two trips, I managed to finish in 5 nights.

A slowdown in turns is fine with me. Last two turns I spent an hour or more continuously tweaking and scrapping turns.

Very sorry but I will also be away next week, though only for a few days. Leaving early on Aug 9th and coming back Aug 11th, not sure what time. If we can just switch to 72 hours between moves that should cover it for me. I'll make sure to submit my turn before I leave on the 9th.

i'm ok with any accommodation any player needs.  

thank you guys, so i will contact wonderloss and pass to him my secret strategy  

Last turn, for the second time, I made use of Wrathful Skies, again to mixed results. While the damage to my troops was reduced, the AI casting Ironskin (-75% shock resistance) on my otherwise lightning immune Eagle Kings was not appreciated. Three brave Eagle Kings were lost as a result, and a few sustained afflictions.

Bring out your Dead..............

Anybody's nation else aside from (former Marverni) taking an in game dirt nap yet?

Good Luck to all still standing!

Poor Sauromatia's army has been crashed/cut to pieces by a horde of mental fire mages .... The tide has change and the conflict becomes bigger. 

Well, time for plan B, or even better C  

Heh, I suspect it's a minor setback. You faced almost every mage I've recruited since the beginning of the game in one battle.

Still, heartening that I'm at least capable of winning a battle against you guys, even if it is too little, too late. 

Sorry bpalczewski- that lone itemless commander that "attacked" you was supposed to be a spy

Not that I'm spying on you, of course.

Ulm wonders why so many nations engage in warfare and petty squabbles over which pretender has a larger 'unit' (Smurfette is in the running).

All Ulm seeks is to turn the world into a fertile paradise where health and happiness are equally available to one and all.  So long as they bow their head to the Wise and Benevolent Shadow Noob.  Who died and was brought back, at least once, though really, at this point, we're not sure how many times it's been exactly.

Seeing as how Shadow Noob apparently enjoys the undersides of elephant feet.

All this war profits no one, especially not Ulm, since no one seems interested in commerce (other than the Giants, but their concept of commerce lately has been more along the lines of 'throw us some gems', Ulm, being the great and benevolent nation it is, of course complied).  The forges of Ulm are still open, and while one nation may not wish Ulm to deal with an other nation, to this point, no one has been explicit about any of this.  So, send your requests, and Ulm can turn your excess dross of useless gems into wonders fit for kings.

"Sorry bpalczewski- that lone itemless commander that "attacked" you was supposed to be a spy 

Not that I'm spying on you, of course."

lol, please, be careful next time: it caused a mass panic and mass peasant emigration of peasant to Ulm and a mobilization of my entire army