Lif's Diary: A story with Bees (Image Heavy)

Week 52: Discovered some Ventri Ore near Asgard… perhaps this precious metal can be used to create bee armor.

Week 55: Cuessusaa has found a man named Markinn who claims to be the ruler of the kingdom of Gilden.  Gilden sounds a lot like Gildar… I wonder if they’re rich?  For now we shall remain peaceful… still need that bee armor.

Week 62: Cuessusaa has found another kingdom this time they are calling themselves Tarth and their ruler is Irane.  My pioneers need to hurry and blockade the south-west pass.  Gilden constructed a city near the pass, not close enough to interfere with my plans yet… the bees must be protected.

Week 63: I have found a woman named Rilis who I have made my wife.  Unlike that other… ummm… ‘woman’ Rilis only asked for 165 gildar to be my bride… I have imbued her with my essence (heh), with some practice she will be able to use the almighty power of the barbeque lighter (still haven’t figured out what that is).  Urd’s Pass has been created south-east of Asgard.  Soon I will have more bees… still no armor…

Week 67: I have encountered a woman named Porcipinee (bahahaha, what a name!) ruler of Pariden.  She’s kind of creepy looking… my bees might refuse to eat her…

Week 68: Signed treaties with Markinn, I like the way he does his hair… didn’t offer a non-aggression treaty, that would give him the power to send his pioneers through my territory and would defeat the purpose of blockading the passes… the bees must be kept safe while they build their awesome might!!

Week 71: Encountered the empire of Resoln, led by a woman named Ceresa… I like their skin tone… She seems to be sending a pioneer towards what is to be my Eastern gate… may have to take action without my armored bees of doom…

Week 73: The kingdom of Pariden is apparently mocking me… with bad spelling no less “ot quests”???  Really don’t like her…

Week 74: Cuessusaa has encountered a man named Relias.  He claims to be the ruler of a kingdom called Altar… I see no kingdom, just a strange guy wandering through the wilderness alone… who does that?.... oh... wait….

Week 75: Ceresa did it… she built a city where I had planned for my eastern gate.  I was hoping to avoid war so soon, but it seems it is inevitable.

Week 77: Thor’s Gate has been built in a less than ideal location but perhaps we can avoid war after all. 

Week 83: Freyr and Freyja’s Gates have been built to the South-West.  With Thor’s Gate in the east it is now time to fortify the gates and begin settling the land I have claimed.  Tarth seems to expect me to go to war with Altar, and yet Irane offers nothing in exchange for my assistance… little does she know I don’t even have an army, save 2 sand golems, a fire giant, a familiar, and a bunch of over-glorified scouts that claim to be “champions”… it’s a wonder I haven’t fed them to the bees yet.  Parties of archers are being trained to assist in the cleansing of the lands between Asgard and the gates.

Week 86: Gilden is mocking me about technology now… at least he used proper spelling and grammar.  Pariden has warned me of an undead dragon named Zir-ka-va wandering the wilds… really need those archers… stupid bees and not having armor, I suspect Ratek is keeping the secrets of bee armor from me.  I’ve come to terms with Tarth on technology and trade treaties.  Consulted Pariden for the same but Porcipinee is far too creepy… plus she seemed to be threatening me with her puny dagger… like that’s going to stop my barbeque lighter of doom (my team of researchers has yet to determine what a ‘barbeque’ is… damn that Ratek, I think he made that up just to mess with me… I’m going to give him such a kicking when I find him).

Week 87: A party of archers is finally complete.  Now we can begin the process of cleansing.

Week 90: My son Wotan was born today… little bastard better grow up to be good for something.

Week 97: Cleansing my lands is proving difficult… too many damn adventurers screwing up dungeon crawling has let loose monsters that make me wish I had bee armor.  A protector golem has killed one of my archer parties… it seems I will have to travel over there to clean up this mess.  Work has begun on a second fire shard.  Ratek tried explaining to me how this would upgrade my barbeque lighter so I kicked him… his speech is a little squeaky now.  More fire = good, what more do I need to know anyway?  I have also been told of a man named Kraxis of the Empire of Kraxis (what is the deal with that?  I mean what an ego on this guy.)

Week 101: Cleansing is taking longer than anticipated.  All city building has been put on hold in favour of producing an army, except for housing in small cities.  I need more people in those cities to further spread my influence and drive out the monsters.  After teleporting to the south-west region I’m waiting on my essence to return so I can conjure up an army to crush this cursed protector golem… which is actually doing a great job of protecting Asgard from the caravans coming from the twin gates… There also seems to be a rather vicious looking pack drake nearby. 

My new cartographer has drawn up a map of the kingdom… it seems he wants to be made into honey as well, still crooked.  At least he didn’t write in the wrong names for cities as some of my advisors have been doing… It’s a small wonder my bees aren’t all fat yet.  Things are looking good for the Children of Yggdrasil.  Once we finish cleansing the land we can concentrate our defense into the south-west and the east.  Then I think I may do something about little-miss-creepy-bad-grammar.

*** It is worth noting that this game is effectively won at this point.  Because I control roughly 30% of the map and only have to protect 2 points there is really very little the AI can/will do to stop me****  There will be less screenshots from this point forward as I was rather forgetful.

Week 102: It seems I have begun to receive wargs from a warg den that Ceresa built near Thor’s Gate… I wonder if I can make wargs that shoot armored bees when they bark?  I’ll have to put my researchers on that immediately… with armored bee shooting warg mounts I could rule the world!!  On another note, the protector golem has fallen to the mighty Uber Fire Dart of DOOM!!... hmmm that’s not much better than the Gadget Barbeque Lighter…

Week 104: Kraxis warned me of the might of “Magnar.”  Who the hell is Magnar?

Week 108: Pariden has killed Resoln… well at least that restores my control of the eastern front, and I did get some wargs (hopefully bee shooting) out of it… hmmm my researchers inform me they have figured out how to ride the beasts but the bee shooting is out of the question… something about allergies… hopefully his allergies because he’s bee food now.  No one fails me!!

Week 112: Pariden continues mocking me… at least her grammar is correct.  I received a report of a party of archers fighting against a troll shaman becoming so confused their attack power tripled.  It seems it’s now Tarth’s turn to warn me of the “Evil Magnar”… Who the hell is Magnar??  Seriously, if these people want me to care the least they could do is tell me who this guy is…  Oh, also my daughter was born today, named her Baba Yaga… Rilis did not appreciate the joke…

Week 113: Formed treaties with Altar… Slightly over-priced I think but it will pay off in the long run.  My researchers informed me that we can research how to form treaties… so we can form treaties with Kraxis?… I sent them off to slap each other until they realize the notion of spending time and resources researching treaties is stupid… I can’t believe these are the guys I’ve been trusting with bee armor research… no wonder my bees are still squishy.

Week 120: Pariden, Tarth, and Gilden have been hounding me to go to war with Altar… Clearly they missed the fact that I paid through the nose to get treaties with Altar.  Pariden asked for treaties… still creepy, and she’s still threatening me with that puny knife, I told her where to stick that knife.

Week 122: I’ve received a message from a man named Carrodus, ruler of Capitar… Capitar… sounds like someone’s pen ran out while writing the L in capital… Made treaties with Carrodus… stupid researchers and their obsession with “researching” the obvious… Clearly I failed in the search for the “best and brightest”…

Week 123: Someone reported to me that the ‘Ilyan Orekeepers’ have fallen to the might of ‘Verga’… Who are these people?  I mean seriously?  Are they the ones who know how to make bee armor, or make wargs shoot bees when they bark?  Is that why I’m supposed to care?

Week 128: Altar has warned me about the “might of Umber”… enough with these people I’ve never heard of… Even if it were my concern my gates are guarded by archers and golems… and in dire straights I shall let loose the bees of war!!  I wonder if I can attach jars of bees to arrows…

Week 140: The cleansing is nearly complete.  Soon the bees will have the security they need to grow and develop their awesome stinging… stingy-ness of… ummm…. Stinging!!  Altar seems to have a boat just off the coast from Gefion’s Point.  I will have to watch they don’t try a water assault… bees don’t like water…

Week 143: My third child was born today, another son.  Rilis has told me his name is Irar… it seems she’s still pissed over the ‘Baba Yaga’ thing so I’m no longer allowed to choose names for our children… women…

Week 150: Only 2 sections of my lands remain outside my influence.  Archer parties are scattered throughout the land protecting cities from the few wandering monsters that remain.  The gates are well protected and uncontested.  My days are spent collecting treasures that scouts have found scattered throughout the kingdom, with new ones being discovered all the time.  Soon our attention will shift to destroying little-miss-creepy-bad-grammar… unfortunately the bees are not ready in any capacity… no armor, no bee jars, and no bee spitting wargs… Ratek seems to be hiding in one of my cities… I suspect him of plotting against me but I have no proof.

The new head cartographer has drawn up a map of the kingdom.  This one finally got north at the top of the map.  He may live another year... Rilis took away my crayons... Something about "ruining perfectly good maps"...

Week 158: Asgard has grown into a metropolis.  I have demanded construction of the Tower of Ereog begin immediately.  Soon I will have a continuous flow of essence and then all shall burn… stupid bees making me use fire…  I’m told the last of the pioneers are on there way to filling the last unpopulated areas of my lands.  It is time to turn my attention to war!

Week 160: I traded sold Ratek to Pariden for 50 Crystal… That’s what he gets for not giving me the secrets of the mighty bee armor!!  For now he can wallow in the land of bad grammar until I am ready to destroy his new Queen!

Week 161: After my profitable trade for that bastard Ratek I thought I might make use of all these stupid adventurers wandering my lands.  I hired Gara, Raline the Weaver, and Inaey for less than 200 gilder together.  I then traded them to Capitar who apparently thinks their value is equal to that of 67 horses, 150 crystal, and 39 gilder... Sucker!

Week 165: My fourth child was born today, a daughter that Rilis named Seva.  Who says ugly bastards can’t have kids!  I can’t believe this dragon needs me to go get its egg back… I mean really, it’s a DRAGON!?

Week 175: Sarog the dragon is just as powerful as I suspect, he assisted me in claiming Azur’s Armor, I’m finally wearing armor… kinda bulky.  I’m told the last city has been founded.  Once the newest cities have grown the monsters should cease to be a problem.  My archers have begun their journey to the gates to concentrate strength in the only possible points of attack (Altar’s boat seems to just be wandering aimlessly).  I’m told Cuessusaa will finally be returning home after nearly 3 years away.  I’m also told she will be bringing back hordes of treasure she claimed from the lands between Altar and Kraxis.  She proved far more useful than I ever could have hoped… it’s amazing she lived this long without so much as a club when she left.

Week 190: Wotan, my first born, has come of age today (ugly little bastard, and not quite right in the head).  He seems fit to lead an army in the east against Pariden.  Rilis has become a warrior goddess with a bow, though she refuses to have anything to do with jars of bees.  The slave trade is proving to be incredibly profitable, though the stock of adventurers in my lands is beginning to thin drastically, I may have to order the kingdom researchers to seek out more of these slaves that other kingdoms value so highly.

Week 201: Wotan is awaiting the training of his army of Elite Warg Riders before he begins his assault of Pariden.  Rilis and I have set out monster and slave hunting to the south by way of the east gate.  Rilis shot down an Elemental Lord last week without so much as a scratch.  I’ve begun increasing my strength after seeing the destruction that can be caused with a bow.

The cartographer has drawn up another map in celebration of our complete control of our lands.... still no crayons... I almost managed to get my hands on some pencils but Rilis took those too...

Week 210: It seems one of my children has wandered into the wilderness and is now a worthless brigand… yet my nannies claim all the children are at home… perhaps a doppelganger?  This foul demon must be put to death in case it knows the secret of my bees.

Week 212: Baba Yaga has grown old enough to… well… She’ll go around enchanting towns.

Week 219: I have encountered Verga, king of Yithril… someone said something about this guy once I think… I wonder if he’s interested in any slaves, I have quite a nice collection right now.

Week 220: Found Baba Yaga’s evil twin wandering the wilderness.  Wotan insists this is an omen that our bees are in danger and has begun marching on little-miss-creepy-bad-grammar… he’s a little aggressive.

Week 223: Dragons have been found near Freyja’s Gate in the south-west.  Soon I will have an army of dragons to march on Gilden… they’re certainly no armored bees, but they’ll do.  Wotan is decimating Pariden’s forces, I doubt little-miss-creepy will be alive much longer.

Week 233: Wotan seems woefully incapable of taking the kingdom of Pariden alone.  Porcipinee is frantically running about reclaiming her cities so Rilis and I have returned home to help the inefficient little bastard.

Week 236: Porcipinee has retreated to a tiny outpost south-west of what were her lands.  Umber demanded I pay him gilder in exchange for him “not destroying me.”  He clearly isn’t all that bright… Never mind the fact that I could crush him like a bug, he has no direct path to my lands anyway… I suppose I’ll have to kill my way to him… I don’t like being threatened.

Week 238: We launched a surprise attack on the kingdom of Capitar.  Rilis and I captured the small outpost in the north while Wotan and his army captured 3 cities to south.  Capitar won’t likely last more than a few weeks longer… Will deal with the remnants of Pariden later.

Week 241: All of Capitar’s cities are now belonging to me… Carrodus has fallen, but not before I slaughtered his entire family… The males of this family were so horrific in appearance Rilis and I had to make use of the bravery spell to not be paralyzed by fear… damn there appearance was intimidating, good thing we have bows… don’t wanna touch that… or even get close enough that could be possible…  I insisted they be buried 10 feet under, and extra 4 feet so they don’t scare the bees.

Week 243: Irar has grown old enough to prove he is useless beyond reason… I suspect he’s spend too much time in the honey jars and has grown fat, lazy and slow.  Baba Yaga as taken control of an army of dragons in the south-west and seems to be marching on Gilden.

Week 248: Baba Yaga has begun invading Gilden with her army of dragons.  Wotan has chosen to invade Yithril… what did I do to raise such war obsessed children?... and why wasn’t it done to Irar too?  Wotan reports the diseased lands of the empire of Yithril has weakened his army.  He still claimed victory easily but Rilis and I will be joining up with him to prevent any unfortunate incidents.

Week 250: Baba Yaga is slowly destroying Gilden but the dragons are rather slow to get around which is making this problematic.  The Elite Warg Riders are gaining experience quickly, yet the numbers in each company has dropped suddenly even though Yithril can not manage to harm us.  We are resting in Iyana to regain our strength before we return to destroying Yithril.  Then it is on to Umber… those bastards still think they are ‘stronger’ than the Children of Yggdrassil… we control half of the known world… fools.

The head cartographer has drawn another map (still getting north in the north) but this time he reports my kingdom is simply too large to fit on a page… gave him a good kick… into a bee hive…  The bees have proven far more useless than I thought.  Still convinced that traitorous Ratek knew the secrets of bee armor that would have made my bees unstoppable.  Unfortunately Ratek disappeared shortly after being sold to Pariden… never did get to kill him…

I'm stopping here because Alt-Tabbing aggravates out of memory errors to the point where every 2-5 turns it crashes.  Even without alt-tabbing it is slowing down drastically.  Also I have effectively won the game, my armies have not lost a unit in forever and I can produce veteran dragons every 2 turns.  The spell of making is queued up in my research so I could just do nothing until then and cast it.  Alternatively I could probably manage a diplomatic victory with some effort, especially if I abuse the slave trading.  Master quest is disabled as it is in all my games ever since I completed it on turn 112.  However, given the story I was working with conquest victory is the only one that makes sense (although I considered a ill-advised attempt at making bee armor through magic being the spell of making) and with the slow downs and crashes I am just not motivated to finish mopping up everything.

Edit: I ended up playing another 50 turns and writing a conclusion which can be found a few posts down from here.

This is F'ing brilliant! I LOVE the bee based theme! (Being a wasp keeper, and wannabe bee keeper.) I wonder if you can mod the twilight bees to provide a defensive bonus to a city they are linked too, this way you can have your bee army in a sense.

heh... heh... heh...

He said 'imbued'

uh.. huh... huh... huh... huh...

Well thank you for the praise Polistes.  Since it seems people actually did read this and I played through to turn 301 in the end for other reasons (mainly for Frogboy's request for save games, and I found several bugs).  I decided to make one last diary entry for this and conclude the story.

Week 301: It’s been almost a full year since I last wrote, my memory is failing and taking time to write often aggravates my condition forcing me to retrace my steps to remember what I was doing.  Even still I’ve pushed through.

In the last year Wotan, Rilis, and I successfully led our army against Yithril… he barely even put up a fight.  He had this wonderous city called Ahetirvern which can train any military unit, even full companies, in one week!!  We used this to bolster our ranks (as if we needed it.  Baba Yaga and her lumbering army of dragons swept through Gilden… actually swept is not such a great word that implies a speed they simply don’t have… if only we had war bees… They’d be fast, unlike those stupid dragons…

Finally found the lands of Umber.  My army swept through their lands like locusts through a wheat field… wait no… like bees through a flower field!!... hmmm… locusts sounds more ominous… maybe I’ll go with locusts… yes, locusts it is (stupid bees).

Baba Yaga finally managed to finish off Gilden just as I gave Umber his final kick (he may have been dead already).  I realized we had Magnar surrounded (and he’s really ugly) so we went to war. 

I had recently come to learn a glorious spell that summons a titan to my aid, my researchers call it Pariden’s Ally… I call it “Instant Bad Ass!”  My researchers informed me that this spell could only be cast once… HA!! Rilis, Wotan and I each summoned a titan, right in the middle of Magnar’s lands.  The coward ran and hid in one of his cities.

I discovered Magnar was in possession of bees… they’re mine now.  Magnar is currently holed up in his last remaining city I’ve been told my titans will reach him next week, possibly the week after.  Once Magnar is defeated all that remains is Altar, Kraxis and Tarth… Oh, and the remains of little-miss-creepy-bad-grammar.  She’s going to be so pissed when she learns our “peace treaty” was more of a “piss off you annoying wench treaty.”

Finally, my researchers are working a new spell they are calling “The Spell of Making.”  Everyone is telling me this glorious spell will make bee armor… something seems fishy about this.  For years I’ve been demanding bee armor and everyone laughed and said it wasn’t possible.  Now suddenly “oh master, there’s a spell that can make armor for your doom bees”… It damn well better or someone’s getting kicked… HARD!!!

Oh, and my head cartographer has produced another map.  (still no crayons... Rilis scares me)

He claimed it was impossible to fit all of our lands onto a single parchment.  I told him to just capture the new lands in the south since I have quite enough maps of the north and nothing has really changed… the imbecile brought me a crooked map… two years of getting it right and now he’s bee food… he did say (well scream) something about “that angle lets me get more of your lands on the page”… BAH!!

***As I said I would here are the links for the save files (every 50 turns).  The zip files also include screenshots I took while playing and the word document I typed the diary entries in***

Turn 1-250: http://www.mediafire.com/?458bh2k06wwir7e

Turn 250-301: http://www.mediafire.com/?559eid87qppb6k4

Haha, well done.  I enjoyed reading this AAR.

Well, your moto should be: Bee or let it bee