You know how some kids (spoiled brats) won't eat a sandwich unless the crust is cut off?  Well in the case of a sh!t sandwich, I'd eat the crust (after cutting it off) and throw the sandwich away.

Talking about sandwiches and pussies.... I had a pussy (tasted just like chicken) sandwich once.

Won't go to that Chinese takeaway again.

I wouldn't even eat the crust. Knowing where it came from would be enough of a turn off and the smell.......no no no.

Ah, but you forget who you're talking to!  As you would know from my starkerbarks, I am more than used to "the smell".

Anyhow....

To my left I now have a half bottle of mineral turpentine and some cotton wool /buds.  The idea is to clean off some felt marking pen from some DVD storage envelopes I wanna reuse for other titles, but if a Zombie were to interrupt I could always poke a couple of turps saturated cotton buds in its eyes so it can't see to eat me.  I mean, it can't eat if it can't find the silverware, right?

I thought Zombies were way to sophisticated to use silverware. They use their fingers if they can keep them from falling into the soup.

Yeah, I thought that too, but they quit using their fingers when they discovered that they were eating more fingers than eyeballs or brains.... hence the silverware, well for those still with fingers to pick it up, that is,

Oh, and the silverware also helps prevent fingers falling off in the soup... which is a bonus for non-zombie dinner guests.

This is true, but let us not forget Zombies have been around a long time and could very well have learned how to disguise themselves as normal people giving the amount of cranial matter they consume.

Balls

My dog Butch!

I never though of it like that, but they'd probably be detected as zombies by their greying flesh and leaving their vegetables on the side of the plate.

Oh well, you'll know what's set up camp in your back yard if Butch comes in with a decaying arm or leg.

Zombie Outbreak has occurred! Have whatever is to your left ready to do battle. All hands......Battle stations. I got my Starbucks coffee cup and its fully loaded. To arms...to arms.      Or not.

Oh very funny! I tried looking to my left but my chair kept spinning around in circles! Hah! hah! I ain't falling for that one again!

Now if only you could control the nervous tic in that right foot of yours... the one that keeps the momentum of the circle going and going while you're looking over your left shoulder.  And the feeling of vertigo that comes with it is a proper basterd...especially when you have to get up to go to the toilet and the door won't stay still.

Anyhow, I've decided to dispense with stop=gap measures to fend off zombies.  So long as I have a constant supply of bowls of curried cabbage, no zombies are gunna bother me.

A tumble-dryer...

what the? WHA'??

pfelelep2.......quick look to your left and pick up whatever is there. Zombies are on the loose. They've already got the WB. Now they're lookin' to our resident redneck (hint hint) and whoever else they may corrupt.

I got this to help fend them off.

Uvah, is it my computer or is your Skeletor doin In Vogue ??

Good for headbutts!!

Nah, not In Vogue, it's the Vienna Waltz.

The plan is to get the zombies too tired out to eat brains by getting them into dance marathons.  Apparently, to get them to enter, first prize is a medium rare brain garnished with vitreous jelly   It seems nobody will miss it, either.  Word has it that it came from a politician... and he wasn't using it anyway.

Excellent suggestion. Feed them politician brains and starve them to stay-dead.

It'd be alright to feed them politicians brains if they weren't so darned expensive....

You see,, this zombie goes to his local butcher to pick up some brains and was comparing prices. Like cops brains were $4.95 per pound, engineers brains were $5.95 per pound, and a hookers brain was $7.95 per pound.  Then he notices politician brains as $295.95 a pound: "Hey, what's up with the price on politician brains, why are they so damned expensive??"

The butcher ambles over and says: "Well it's like this, hookers brains aren't as tasty or as easy to come by as engineer brains, for example... and cop brains are so cheap because they haven't been used nearly as much.

Yeah, OK, but that still doesn't explain why politician brains are $295.95 a pound."

"Well that's easy," replies the butcher: "it takes about 300 of the suckers to make up a pound."

Are you insinuating that politicians have brains the size of a walnut? Gee ... I always thought they were born with their transparencies turned all the way down to -145,634,657,876,456,213,001.0987654321 and a half. Wow. Learned somethin' new everyday.

That's probably why a lot of politicians live to a ripe old age... the zombies can see what little brain they possess with the transparency turned down that low.  They obviously think there isn't much of a meal there and move on to normal people.

Oh, and walnut I think is giving a little too much credit.  Try peanut.

Nah, more like a garbonzo. They're smaller than peanuts.

How about a pea. They're pretty small like a grain of wheat, a grain of salt, a grain of sand, an amoeba......

I dunno about a brain the size of an amoeba...but politicians sure have the decision making ability of an amoeba.

And the thing about politicians that really p's me off is when you ask one a question and he/she responds with a question to put the onus back on you.   Geez I hate that!!!   I just hope none discover our question with a question game, otherwise we'll never get a word in edgeways.

They'd put the servers into another twist for sure and that because at least the questions we ask make sense. When did you ever hear a politician ask a sensible question?

Does the sun rise in the West? (well that's the last time I heard a politician ask a sensible question)

Hehe, this is starting to look like another thread, dontcha think?

What thread might that be?

And if its a good one can we play too?

Now you wouldn't be answering my q