Asking a lot of faith (or for a lot of faith)

I was chatting on the phone with my mother last night, both of us having recently returned from the trip to see my aunt -- her sister -- and both of us wanting to think that the next few weeks and months for my aunt won't be her last.  She's battling cancer for the second time and this time things don't seem to be going as well as anyone would like.  She's a battler though and she is most definitely not giving up.  She will try any treatment and push her doctor(s) to try any treatment they may have available in the hopes that one of those treatments will be the one that will be successful and will finally rid her body of the evil that is cancer.

My family has faith and probably all would say that we believe in a higher power of some sort, though what we all believe is somewhat private for each of us.  We aren't the types to go to chuch on a regular basis, that much I do know and acknowledge.  If submitting profiles for online dating sites the choices would likely be "spiritual, but not religous" or something to that effect.  It comes down to not seeing the need to go to some designated building or place to communicate with a God or celebrate our beliefs as we all seem to feel that we can open up our hearts and start such conversations anywhere and at anytime.

As I had travelled with my mother across the fine state of Texas, visiting my aunt and/or returning from our visit back to the big city and the airport and airlines that would take us home, my mother mentioned how a similar set of circumstances to those of my aunt had shaken her a bit.  A small business owner, similar to my mother and her small antiques and knick-knack shops, who actually rented space from my mother in her primary store location, was also fighting off cancer, again seeming to be losing the fight (having been told by the doctors that she had little time left and there was nothing they could do for her).  As the end was approaching quickly, the business owner was selling off all of her inventory and closing the business with the help of her mother.  My mother tried to comfort that mother and she told her that she'd keep that woman in her prayers.  The response from that mother was something akin to having been slapped in the face as she apparently retorted that she didn't want to hear about God or prayers as if there was a God he wouldn't be letting her daughter succumb to cancer.

I'm no preacher/ priest/ deacon or other holy-roller type.  I've told you that above, and I'm repeating it here to make it clear, but I do belief that this is the type of moment that gives many people difficulty with religion.  The questions of why evil exists if there is a God?  Why do bad things happen, etc.  The type of questions that lead to sermons from the pulpit that tell us that God lets these things happen so that we have a greater appreciation for the good things that happen for and around us.

My answer, to my mother, though probably not delivered as well as I'd like to have done so, was that perhaps she should have told that mother that while she might not be as faithful now as she otherwise might have been but perhaps there really is a plan and design in effect and a reason that her daughter is being called home.  Perhaps that daughter is going to ready a place for the rest of her family when it's their time.  Perhaps it's for other reasons, and while we might not like the way things are playing out for us despite numerous requests and seemingly unanswered prayers, we can't let the things we dislike keep us from appreciating and enjoying the things we do and we can and should find the inspiration in these things to try to make ourselves and this world a better place.

Not trying to brag here, but I have tried to us the loss of my own spouse as an inspiration to try to do more good in the world.  I've made more charitable donations than I otherwise would have, partly because I've had some extra money to put into such things, but also because I can make such donations in her honor and memory with the hope that perhaps the donation that I make will put us all over the top in the funding needed to find a cure for Autism or cancer, or something similar.

Perhaps, in the end, I may have found more faith myself.  Perhaps.