I wanted to fly united with a girlfriend once.....but the stewardess wouldn't let us.
I once had thoughts about joining the 'mile high club'... until I discovered lighting up the obligatory smoke afterwards was not allowed. Yeah, the stewardess announced that the toilets had smoke detectors, and that anyone caught smoking in the toilets would be made to get out and walk the rest of the way, and at the time, it was the major deterrent to joining the 'mile high club'.
And wouldn't you know it, now that I don't smoke, well I can't fly, either.