For Sale....

you know you want it

from WinCustomize Forums

For Sale: Old mid 80's Front loading washing machine. Goes like a rocket!

By 'goes like a rocket' I actually mean that literally.
It actually shakes the house.

It's the loudest most violent sounding washing machine I have ever encountered.
It makes guests scared and children cry. I've lived with it like that for almost a year and it still scares me.

Once while washing a load of towels it got a bit out of balance and it got so out of control for a minute that I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the other side and they looked scared too, it almost sucked me in but I held on for my life to the deepfreeze. It sucked my shoes and pants off though and it got the iron as well which pissed me off because it was quite a good one. Luckily it sucked it's own power cord out of the wall and stopped before the whole house went in.
I drew a picture of the dinosaurs i saw in case people didn't believe me, they are partly red because my green felt ran out half way through.

I think it would be good to paint it matt black and put steel spikes all over it and draw demons on the front, however I have added an image of another possible customization option for people who like horses.

On heavy duty spin cycle it sort of sounds a bit like the tortured howls of 1000 undead writhing in the sulphury pits of hell mixed with a train with carriages full of scrap iron sliding down the road with no wheels, on fire, into a bell factory.

Thankfully it's bite is not as bad as it's bark. It washes fine, completes cycles, does everything it's supposed to.
It leaks a bit when it's running, always has.
Its a bit grubby, could do with a wipe down, I refuse to touch it because I'm still getting over the whole dinosaur scare thing.

If your in a fix and need a cheap washing machine and are either completely deaf or hate your neighbours this baby is for you.

£10....  Pick up only, Leeds


Selling to pay for my counseling

15,111 views 26 replies
Reply #1 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Very good Bryan, very good indeed.  However, I'm not too sure you'll find a buyer... unless that buyer is a sadistic SOB who wants it for his ex-missus, having got theirs in the divorce settlement.

What a pity it's "Pick up only, Leeds".   Had it been closer to Oz, I have an ex-missus in need of a washing machine... and 10 quid is a fair price, too. In fact, I'd pay 20 knicker for such a machine... one that opens a portal to another dimension, that is.  She's probably not as big as you... not as strong, either. but with a bit of luck... well hopefully it'd be more than just her shoes and pants.... hehe. 

My worry, then, would be her turning up on the 5th season of Lost, given the island's inter-dimensional properties n' all.  I mean, she'd be perfect as an evil arch-nemesis to the castaways, even the evil people trying to control the island... but it would ruin my enjoyment of the show, seeing her instantly transported to the island after sucked into a washing machine.

Nah, I wouldn't want to risk it, but I tell ya what, significantly bump up the price and sell it as an inter-dimentional portal instead.  Yup, advertise it as gateway to view live dinosaurs in their natural state, and you'll have palaeontologists clamouring to buy it.  Just leave out the bit about the trainful of scrap[ metal sliding sideways down the street bit... that might scare off potential buyers, given impact with the bell factory would likely cause deafness.

Yup, play your cards right... like mention that it also does laundry, and you'll make enough for all the counseling you'll ever want or need... plus enough left over for a cosy villa in the Caribbean.  Hmmm, given the cold weather in Yorkshire at present, that'd be nice, wouldn't it?  

Yeah, I'd be changing the ad right now, if I were you. :-"

 

 

Reply #2 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Just a 'heads up'....there's something in the mail....

...won't fix your machine tho...;)

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Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Reply #3 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Sounds like "Revelations". Also piss funny. You have my respect, sir.

Actually, boXXi's washer wasn't his. I mean, this devilish, spawn of Satan washer from hell has been present in other ages. I don't make random claims, not do I take this lightly. Evidence of this demon from Hades has been unearthed in close proximity to the Stargate. This probably explains why Bry saw other dimensions. The hellish demon actually opens worm holes.

 

Reply #5 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Paul... It arrived about 10 minutes ago!!! Thank you so much, you KNOW i will treasure them. (as I do all the other stuff you sent me in the past). You really brightened my day, and heaven knows I needed it!! Thank you again sir. :)

To the casual onlooker: I'm a MASSIVE fan of Motorcycle racing, and Jafo took time out of his day to send me some souvenirs from the 2009 MotoGP race in Australia, at which he is an official. A race program, some other bits and pieces, AND his official marshalls cap autographed by one of the best Superbike and MotoGP racers.... Colin Edwards!!! How nice is that??? Don't ever underestimate this man's kindness and generosity.............B[]

 

Reply #6 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Unfortunately Randy snuck out of the muster shed before I could grab his too. [Randy still rides the 2 seater [and he dropped it that weekend - with passenger]]...;)

Reply #7 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Don't ever underestimate this man's kindness and generosity.............

How right you are.

Reply #8 from WinCustomize Forums Top

You shouldn't have let him get away paul.... he's only little, you should have stood on him!!

(didn't know he was still doing the 2 seater thing......... I missed him in the Eurosport commentary though.... :(  )

Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Good one!  :P

Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top

That's quite a machine! All I have is a clothes dryer that opens a one-way portal to the lost sock dimension.;P

Reply #11 from WinCustomize Forums Top

All I have is a clothes dryer that opens a one-way portal to the lost sock dimension.

 

If you find any of mine in there let me know, they disappear in my dryer too!  \o/

Reply #12 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting LightStar, reply 11
All I have is a clothes dryer that opens a one-way portal to the lost sock dimension.

 

If you find any of mine in there let me know, they disappear in my dryer too! 

Funny...in Hebrew there's actually a place where all lost things go...called "eebood" ... keys, socks, people....whatever, they're all there.

Reply #13 from WinCustomize Forums Top

...........and i thought you were selling your soul.............buggar, maybe next time Bry.......... heheh:inlove:

Reply #14 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Does it come with 12 months guarantee mate.

Reply #15 from WinCustomize Forums Top

I've had another thought!   Being Dr Who has made a big come-back world-wide, paint it up to look like the TARDIS... sell to the highest bidder.

All I have is a clothes dryer that opens a one-way portal to the lost sock dimension.

Ah, so that's why I keep finding odd socks in mine?  :S Well if ya wants 'em back, you can pay the postage. :rofl:

..and i thought you were selling your soul...

Nah, Bry gave that away years ago... about the same time he discovered skinning, I believe. ;)

Reply #16 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Nah, Bry gave that away years ago... about the same time he discovered skinning

Indeed...... and just one of SEVERAL deals I made with the Devil. I should be winning the lottery tonight.......... B[]

Reply #17 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Randy will be over again this year...I'll make a point of trying to catch him then...;)

Reply #18 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Cool.....  I hope he's back on the Eurosport commentary team too!! I'm considering going to Italy to see the MotoGP this year, kind of a holiday mixed with my favourite sport. We'll see.......... B[]

Reply #19 from WinCustomize Forums Top

By the way Paul, do you know who was on the back when Randy dropped the 2 seater? I hope it was someone famous! Muwahaha......:waaaa:

Reply #20 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Can't remember...but it was some degree of celebrity....;p

Reply #21 from WinCustomize Forums Top

I had to replace a heating element in the clothes dryer.

Everyone said it was sooooo easy to do.

They forgot to tell me you have to take apart the entire dryer to get to it. Which of course I discovered after I had taken apart the entire dryer.

I installed the element and proceeded to put the dryer back together.

When I was done I had a box, a little bigger than a shoe box, full of parts.

I carefully started the dryer.

It ran.

For another year.

Then it broke again.

My ex said "You can fix it."

As I approached it with my toolbox...it screamed some kind of obsenity at me and quite properly blew up taking out half the drywall behind it.

I like to think it took it's own life and was no fault of mine.

I still have the box of parts if you wanna throw them in with the washer to sweeten the pot.

Reply #22 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Got a washer AND dryer out back doing nothing.... can't sell 'em.

Had a Persian cat that liked to play in the mud.... hence, they're clogged with fur. :-"

Reply #23 from WinCustomize Forums Top

so......... you washed a persian cat in a washing machine??????? Ohhhhh Kaaaaaay! B[]:meow:

Reply #24 from WinCustomize Forums Top

so......... you washed a persian cat in a washing machine??????? Ohhhhh Kaaaaaay!

Talk about fur balls....

That hadda be one pissed off cat when it was done.

Reply #25 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Then again, maybe not..... {for Fuzzy}