Banned for going topless could mean going headless in some countries.... meaning you'd be hatless, too.

Adds a whole meaning to thoughtlessness, don't it.... being headless, that is.

banned for going into deep thought

Banned for shallow thought... couldn't tread water and meet me halfway, eh?

banned for wanting me halfway

banned for thinking I only want you halfway.... when I want something I take it all.

[and we'll have no comments/jokes about your "enormous" manhood, thank you]

Banned for making headway. 

banned for going the way

Never understood them anyways. I just happy to be above average.

Banned for quoting.

-Twi

banned for going three quarters of the way and stopping to take a leak... dunno why, the leak in the levee was quite content 'til you came along.

And where did ya take it fer fech sake?  Hopefully to a plumber's place... so he can discover 1st hand how difficult it is to get someone to come fix a leak in the middle of the night.

I used to be above average when I was younger... when I could still remember its measurements.

Nowadays I can't even remember where I left the tape measure, let alone what I'm supposed to be measurin'

I somehow recall 3 inches, but I'm not too sure if that was 3" short of a foot or 3" past it. 

Well, that'll teach ya t' keep yer above "average" to yerself when I speshully asked ya to.

banned for using spoilers

Banned for there's nothing wrong with being a few steps ahead.  hehe

banned for suggesting he's always a few steps behind, which could possibly be true, given he claims he has such a large 'average' to carry around.

No wonder as an older man, he has much difficulty to tiptoe through the tulips with his beloved on Valentines Day.

Wonder if there's a surgery for that... like if yer wanted to get yer large 'average' reduced.

And would it qualify for a tax rebate and/or unemployment benefits while it recovered from such extensive surgery?

Actually, it should be eligible for sickness benefits... because its unemployment is the direct result of a medical procedure.

.......

Banned for not thinking of making movies. 

banned for insanity

Um what?

Banned for not having a clue.... you bin hiding in the catacombs or summat?

Go back to post 13334... and there you will find the onset of this unfolding plastic surgery drama.

So stay tune, folks, to this enthralling drama.  In the next episode we see if Mr. Above Average gets back in the sack, and does it work after his reduction surgery ... or does his misuse of the little blue pill have him chasing dozens of village vixens to satisfy his lust.

banned for going all dizzy

banned for dizzy wasn't a crime last I looked... unless it was brought on by psychedelic and/or mind altering drugs not obtained by precsription, but rather purchased in a back alley from a gin soaked bar queen in Memphis.

I do not do back alleys or gin soaked bar queens, so all my mind bending stuff is legit and purchased from this 'little brown sugar' gal down at the pharmacy next door to Ruby Tuesday's.

 Banned for acid induced vignettes.  

banned for not including a base

Banned because Ace of Base isn't doing gigs anymore.  However, if you wanna catch some of their music live, head down to the corner of Hell and Beelzebub Streets, where you can hear a busker do a pretty good job at belting out their tunes... but be warned, don't do or say anything while you're down there in the dark side of town that would see you come back without your soul.

And it don't even have ta be halloween... mwahahahahahaaaa

Banned for living in Kookamonga.

Banned for the Kookamongans exiled me from there years ago.  Apparently they weren't happy when I refused to join their Moonlight Festival and take off all my clothes before the goddess Aphelia, who has a penchant eating small, tasty sausages.

     Banned for not catching the Chatanooga choo choo. 

banned for obscure band names

Banned for fire in the hole... stop lighting them up before you hurt yourself.