09:07am: The North Fights Back
Reader Mike points me to this page, where an outraged Northeastener vents his spleen on the South, for not electing his precious Native Son (that would be Fuckface) to the Presidency.

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?


It is an outstanding rant, even though it's a load of old bullshit.

A couple of notes to the (anonymous) author:

1. The American Revolution may have begun in Boston, but if Sam Adams were alive today, and could see what a bunch of Big Government pantywaists his beloved Massachusetts has become, he'd start another revolution.

2. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. -- [translated:] "We [blue states] pay all the tax dollars, and the South gets all the benefits." It's a common whine from New Yorkers -- they get back $1 in federal largesse for every $1.47 they pay in taxes. It's an interesting thought -- except for some reason they get blinkers on when the same logic is applied to "the rich" vs. "the poor". Based on their philosophy, the people who pay the most taxes (the rich) should get MORE government benefits than the poor.

Morons.

Oh, and one last thing for other outraged Northerners like our little friend: on a per-capita basis, the South supplies far more troops to the Armed Forces than the North does, so when it comes to the contributions to society, what you pay in taxes, we pay in blood.

France beckons, asshole. We'll help you pack.

But I like the anger.






Posted Comments
Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

(Yet another idiot who wholeheartedly believes the only reason we fought the civil war was because the south wanted slaves. He lost any respect in my eyes as soon as he wrote this.)

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

(Why yes, yes you are! You are nothing like the Founding Fathers. If they were Blue Staters, you're freaking Black Staters.)

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence?

(If the constitution wasn't written in such a way to allow us to bear arms, they would already be banned, this argument is so old)

Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead.

(Incorrect. They were "1776 Blue Staters", by no means were they Michael Moore/John Kerry Blue Staters. There is a rather lage fundamental difference.)

Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

(If we gave a rats ass, we would steal them, but we figure your life revolves around sticking your nose up at people, so we will leave you some ammo in your fight to be better than everyone else, so as not to ruin your way of life.)

And don't even start on taxes, what an ignorant fool.

The upper class already pays 96% of the taxes in this damn country, and less than 40% of them live in New York, Boston and Philly.




Posted by: Bryan Z. on 09:34 AM - 11/10/04
I believe that one of the commenters at Gut Rumbles traced the author to Wisconsin. FUCKING WISCONSIN.


Excuse the fuck out of me, but the last time I checked, goddamned Wisconsin didn't provide a FUCKING THING to the Revolutionary War.

Some asshole Cheesehead is denigrating the south? What has Wisconsin donated to society?

FUCKING Old Milwaukee's Best.

Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ. Talk about your glass fucking house and throwing goddamned stones.

Any monuments in Wisconsin? I mean, other than to Bret Favre? Puh-fucking-lease.

Last time I looked, shit-for-brains, George fucking Washington and Thomas fucking Jefferson weren't from your precious blue states. They were from Vir-fucking-ginia, which, last I checked, was a red state. They pretty much put the "Founding" in "Founding Fucking Fathers".

Quit jerkin' off to the shit you read on Democrats Underground (Now THERE'S a wish if I've ever seen one).

Lastly, fuck you and the damnable hybrid fucking piece of shit car you rode in on.

Asshat.



Posted by: Jay G on 09:53 AM - 11/10/04
I'd like to write a reply to this guy's little schoolgirl rant, but I'm unsure of something. Is "jackoff" hyphenated or not?



Posted by: mAss Backwards on 09:54 AM - 11/10/04
Speaking as a northern Ohioan:

This idiot is just another left elitist moron who needs to be smacked in the head with a Clue X 4.

Oh, and as much as I admire many of the attitudes and traditions of the South, I must say that appreciation for the Constitution, the Founders, and the real American way of life are not exclusive to the southern states. Even here, 90% of the people I know voted to keep Kerry out of the white house. Of course, I don't live in a large city...



Posted by: Infidel on 09:56 AM - 11/10/04
Bruce,

It's spelled FUCKING JACKOFF ASSHOLE.

You're welcome.



Posted by: Jay G on 10:07 AM - 11/10/04
Speaking as a New Yorker and as guy who's taking an American History course right now (with a center-right teacher, no less):

New York and Philadelphia were Loyalist strongholds during the revolution. Essentially, the whole war was fought by the brave people of New England and Virginia.

Goddamn stupid-assed cheesehead.



Posted by: Silver Shark on 10:08 AM - 11/10/04
As a Southerner, I'd just like to note that George Washington (you know "Father of our country" George Washington) and Thomas Jefferson (author of the Declaration of Independence) were from Virginia. Now I may be a dumb redneck, but the last time I looked Virginia was the capital of the Confederacy and a Southern state. (Nod to JayG, who noted these before me.)

I hate jerks like this guy. Here I am, trying to have a nice day before a 4 day weekend, and I have to read crap like this. It just makes me even more sure that Liberals are our implacable enemy.



Posted by: Bill Seward on 10:08 AM - 11/10/04
I might point out that Virginia is/was a southern state/colony.

Why's that relevant, Alger? you ask.

Well, because of ... James Madison, Patrick Henry, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, George Mason... do I need to go on?

Fuckwit.

M



Posted by: Mark Alger on 10:09 AM - 11/10/04
WI is correct. From WHOIS:

Nick J
1 Main St
Madison, WI 53703
US

Registrar: DOTSTER
Domain Name: FUCKTHESOUTH.COM
Created on: 04-NOV-04
Expires on: 04-NOV-05
Last Updated on: 09-NOV-04

Administrative, Technical Contact:
J, Nick admin@fuckthesouth.com
1 Main St
Madison, WI 53703
US
608-257-4131



Posted by: Joe Huffman on 10:15 AM - 11/10/04
Thanks, Jay. I thought something looked amiss.



Posted by: mAss Backwards on 10:23 AM - 11/10/04
The funny thing is that the divide isn't South vs. North anymore, it is between East and West Coast cities, Chicago and everywhere else. Flyover country in other words.
I say let them be semi-autonomous city-states with no vote in national elections, but total carte blanche to structure their cities how they see fit. Kind of a reverse Hong Kong. This way, everyone's happy and in 10 years , they'll have collapsed of their own weight and we can reclaim our cities.



Posted by: Yosemite Sam on 10:29 AM - 11/10/04
I believe that in a debate the first person to say "fuck" or "Hitler" loses. Our excitable friend from WI has lost.

As noted, many of the Founders were from the South, and British General Cornwallis was defeated in the South by General Nathanial Greene, who commanded the Southern Army and was General Washington's second-in-command. This defeat ended the war and numerous Southern states have honored Greene with many counties and towns being named for him.

This gentleman's rant seems odd coming from a member of the group that denounces divisiveness and promotes inclusion and unity, no? I think actions speak louder than words and the liberals say they want cooperation and unity but really all they want is power and to get their way.



Posted by: thatguy on 10:35 AM - 11/10/04
I'll tell you one thing...

This is boosting my intended purchases for Ammo Day/Week...



Posted by: Jay G on 10:39 AM - 11/10/04
From what I take from it, he's basing his theory on ruffled shirts. Typical yankee fancy boy.



Posted by: Jarhed on 10:40 AM - 11/10/04
OK, so he can trace his historical arrogance back to the wealthy mercantile class of the northeast who started the American Revolution......big fucking deal. Where was the first English colony on the continent? Roanoke, VIRGINIA....part of the South. Where was the first successful colony? Jamestown, VIRGINIA....part of the South. Those Pilgrims who come over for "religious freedom" (which is BS, because they have religious freedom in Holland, they just came to America to keep their next generation English instead of Dutch) GOT LOST on their way to Virginia and ended up in Massachussets due to bad weather and a mistake.
And even further back, first Spanish settlement was in Florida....also part of the South and a Bush state.
Of course, I'll let Canada have the distinction of being the first European colony, even if it wasn't successful. Gotta love those crazy Vikings, Eric the Red and Leif Erickson, who sailed across the cold North Atlantic and founded Vinnland. Damn shame none of the Viking spirit remains in Canada, but whatayagonnado?

Why is it when some Leftist tries to use history to bolster an arguement, they use an incomplete or incorrect version of it? Am I the only one who stayed awake in history class?



Posted by: DFWMTX on 10:48 AM - 11/10/04
The Red/Blue maps from the last election, ravings of twerps like this loser, all reinforce one of my basic theoies:

The average intelligence of the population of a given area is inversly proportional to that areas population density and proximity to seawater.



Posted by: randy on 11:07 AM - 11/10/04
Something else for him to remember about the founders -- they were in New England because at the time, New England was the frontier. The Frontier moved west, and that type of man (Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie, Sam Houston, etc) moved with it to Montana and Texas and Alaska.

Who were the people they left behind in New England when the frontier moved on? The same feckless pantywaists they left behind in Old England. That is why they are Blue states now (or rather, Red States).



Posted by: Phelps on 11:28 AM - 11/10/04
You guys. You just don't get it. You keep letting facts and knowledge of history get in the way of your opinions.

Geesh. Don't you know everyone can define things the way they want and revise history and facts to come up with a personal truth that suits the argument?

Come on. Get over it. It was a long time ago. It is only relevant how we define it now.


hehehehehe



Posted by: "The Mrs" on 01:02 PM - 11/10/04
I have this theory that if a true-blue liberal were to really read and understand history, they would give up some, if not all, of their brainwashed ideas. But the theory assumes open-mindedness and the ability to absorb truth, so this may be a bigger fantasy than I thought.



Posted by: Mark_P on 01:32 PM - 11/10/04
It's a good thing that I know you're kidding, Mrs. dT...



Posted by: Jay G on 01:38 PM - 11/10/04
Tee, hee. So many lies and distortions in such a small piece!

Despite the wretched state of our government schools, I never cease to be amazed at level of ignorance (not to mention the lack of curiosity) about how things got to be the way they are on the part of those who so glibly and profanely condemn a status quo not to their liking.

I have yet to meet one of these armchair revisionist critics prepared to (intelligently) discuss how, for example, a century of one-party rule in the South (care to guess *which* party, Riflemen?) and Congressional seniority rules led to committees dominated for decades at a time by Southern legislators. Is it any wonder that there are so many military bases down here? that the tax structure tilts the way it does? that there are distinct currents to the flow of pork?

I especially liked the comment about how the "blue-staters" forget about tax fairness when it comes to individuals.

Forget that "red state/blue state" nonsense, anyway. I prefer the county map.

Losers!



Posted by: Scott Mize on 02:27 PM - 11/10/04
Let them whine, Even if they happen to live up here they ain't real New England Yankees. The true natives are by tradition slow to anger, but we're starting to get riled at the limosine liberal trash that have invaded our states.
If you drive around Vermont you will see signs that read Take Back Vermont as in take it back from the Liberals. Those went up at the last election for governor and haven't come down since, if fact they seem to be multiplying.
It probably won't happen in 2008, but I think in 2012 New England will be looking kind of red.



Posted by: R.L. Hunter on 03:27 PM - 11/10/04
I was born in the 'cradle of liberty', Massachusetts and you are absolutely right Mr Du Doit that if Sam Adams were alive today, he would be abhorred at the site of what Massachusetts has become and he wouldn't recognize recognize the extent to the bankruptcy of principles that the region has. Truly dispicable.

Enjoy your website very much. Keep up the great work!!

-Jim

PS Yeah W!!!



Posted by: Eskimo Jim on 04:11 PM - 11/10/04
I think the rich do get more for their money from our government than the poor do. And it's not just that the poor pay little in taxes. The rich get mortgage deductions on second and third homes, government insurance for many types of investments, a continued business climate good for investments, government-secured loans, insurance for bank accounts, the ability to give $2000 to get a politician's attention, and loads of tax loopholes.

I know the poor in this country get many things, too (rights, opportunities, some social safety nets, and others). But the fact is, I'd be much happier with the government if I had another $200,000 in the bank.



Posted by: jkm on 04:55 PM - 11/10/04
As a native of Massachusetts stuck in this solid blue shithole, I just want to say that Southerners ROCK! My vote may be worth zilch but yours aren't. Party on, my friends, for all of the lonely voices here in the People's Republic of Kerryland.



Posted by: George L. on 05:43 PM - 11/10/04
One point, perhaps minor, perhaps not.

The Blue States do, in fact, pay more taxes than they receive as benefits, in general (some exceptions, of course.) The reason is fairly simple: they have higher incomes, so they pay more tax.

Why do they have higher incomes? Because they are the intermediaries for the country -- the brokers, lawyers, publishers, and market makers. They take the individual production of the rest of the country, consolidate it, price it, and divvy it up for redistribution. And of course they finance it. These are extremely valuable services, and they are paid accordingly.

Time was when such services could only be provided if the providers were in close proximity to one another. That's what cities are for, originally, to provide ease of communication. Nowadays, well, with the Internet and the Interstates and cell phones at a few pennies a minute, do we really need them?

We still need the services, but there's no longer any reason why, e.g., all the publishers have to be in New York, or the whole country's grain crop has to be traded in Chicago. They stay where they are because of inertia. That's the way it's always been, and there's no particularly huge reason to spend the money to change things.

But if they want to secede, well, I hope the door doesn't hit 'em in the ass on the way out; it might damage the door. Kansas City or St. Louis can take up the slack for commodities, Dallas can expand its financial capability, the publishing business can move to North Carolina -- or, more likely, there wouldn't be a new concentration. The Web makes everybody neighbors. The new system would probably be distributed.

It'll cost us a little bit to rebuild the services, but before long we'd be better off than before. Meanwhile all those high-dollar townhomes in recycled industrial buildings might be just a mite less easy to finance, eh?

IOW, at this point there's no reason to be punitive toward the blue areas of the country. But don't push your luck, guys.

Regards,
Ric Locke




Posted by: Ric Locke on 06:44 PM - 11/10/04
I am originally from New York, and now transfered to Connecticut...A couple of things...

1. New York was not a Loyalist strong hold...they were pretty damn divided...the losers walked (so to speak) to Halifax Nova Scotia to either settle or go to England.

2. New York is not a solid blue state either...NYC (with it's 14 million people) is blue and most of the state outside of NYC is Red.

3. Connecticut is the same way. I live in the red part. The counties outside of the Cities (Hartford, New Haven, Bridgeport) are Red.

Believe you me, there are MANY of us in the so called blue states that would either happily stick these elitest morons on a boat out of here, OR, would fight to the death if they tried to secede from the union. CT and NY both have people of sense here....unfortunately we tend not to be heard over the din of the Moonbats.




Posted by: CPT Tom on 09:26 PM - 11/10/04
Fuck the South? Ummmm...

Lessee here.... Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota...

THEY'RE ALL IN THE NORTH!

Well, I guess I can safely say that this wanker is just another dipshit.



Posted by: Raging Dave on 10:24 PM - 11/10/04