What A Nightmare!

It Can't Get Worse Than This

from JoeUser Forums

Now this is one big nightmare!  Hope you have a sense of humor.  Sent to me by a friend. 

The Nightmare

In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm circumcised!

Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color. Black.

I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair.

       But it's a wheelchair!!

That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled!!!

I said to myself, aloud 'This is impossible. It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled.'

'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me.

I turn around, and it's my boyfriend.

Just what I needed!!!

I am a homosexual, and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend..

Oh, my God..... black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive!!!

Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and Oh, noooooo...I'm bald!!!

The telephone rings.

It's my brother.

He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap... Any job.'

Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo... Now I'm also an unemployed orphan!

I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan.

But he doesn't get it.

Frustrated, I hang up.

It's then I realize I only have one hand!!!

With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out.

I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker.... Pacemaker?

Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood.

At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, 'Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heart throb, have you decided what you are going to wear to Washington to see Obama.

Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend,

but please, oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a Democrat ...

humor
89,203 views 46 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

WOW.  (And that's not an "I'm proud of you, you're awesome" WOW)

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

Hmm... seems pretty racist to me, but the end was amusing.

Galactic Civilizations III
Reply #3 from Stardock Forums Top

I think it's funny.

But I really do have a sense for tasteless humour.

This reminds me of the picture of the Ethiopian (black) Jew at the 2006 Jerusalem gay pride parade who was carrying an Israeli and a rainbow flag. I am sure half the world hated him.

 

Reply #4 from Stardock Forums Top

one of my best friends here is black so it wasn't meant to be although I know you can't seem to make jokes about blacks anymore....or gays for that matter.  I've heard they're off limits.  We're better off making jokes about poor white guys or nice looking white female governors. 

That's why I said I hope you have a sense of humor first because I don't really have a racist bone in my body.  I also have Jewish blood in me but somehow I don't think anyone is going to pick out the Jewish part of this joke do you?  

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

No you're right.  This joke was both hilarious and completely in character for you.

Don't male Jews have a prayer thanking God for not making them female?  I think this joke would appeal to them.  Heh.

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

Don't male Jews have a prayer thanking God for not making them female?

Yes. It also thanks G-d for not making them non-Jews or slaves.

It thanks G-d for the opportunity to serve Him that comes with the duty to serve Him. That duty is in Judaism one that only male Jews have.

It's like thanking G-d for growing up in a poor family because it gave you the opportunity to start from nothing and learn more.

 

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

So, it's thanking God for being disadvantaged by being born male?

(I was aware of the other parts)

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

Quoting KFC, reply 4
one of my best friends here is black so it wasn't meant to be although I know you can't seem to make jokes about blacks anymore....or gays for that matter.  I've heard they're off limits.

I guess just find it rather tasteless to insult entire demographics based on how they were born.

For me, I could care less if the demographic is Mexican or African-American.  It's how they were born.

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

Imagine my horror at being married to a Mexican man.  What a nightmare!

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top

So, it's thanking God for being disadvantaged by being born male?

I wouldn't go quite as far, but yes, you may say so. It's thanking G-d for having been given the privilege to have the duty to serve Him.

It's said in the same vain as the polite answer when asked for a favour: "It would be an honour."

Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

I guess just find it rather tasteless to insult entire demographics based on how they were born.

I guess the point of the joke is that all these things really don't matter, EXCEPT being a Democrat.

 

Reply #12 from Stardock Forums Top

I guess the point of the joke is that all these things really don't matter, EXCEPT being a Democrat.

exactly.  You've got it.  All these other things pale in comparison and can be accepted to some degree, EVEN baldness...heh!  But being a Democrat has got to be the worst thing ever! 

 

Reply #14 from Stardock Forums Top

that was funny.

although...

Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color. Black.

What is that supposed to mean?

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

What is that supposed to mean?

It means that in this reality he always was black.

It's like Gregor Samsa checking his driver's licence to find that he had been a bug all along, I suppose.

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top

I thought he meant that the driver license was made out of black plastic and wondered at the symbolism.

Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

There's no symbolism.  It's just a plain ol racist joke.

Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top

well... its more of a "democrat joke" that happens to also be racist. While I abhore political correctness, this goes beyond PC and into the realm of bigotry. That being said, its one of the rare few that are actually amusing.

Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top

There's no symbolism.  It's just a plain ol racist joke.

What's wrong with racist jokes? Depending on how the racism is applied they can be used to point out problems with society. This one does. I don't find it the least bit offensive, and I am one of the targets. (Don't worry, I am not a Democrat!)

 

Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top

I think you're being too generous about how funny the joke is and how well it works.

I'm not offended, just surprised KFC would find this worthy of sharing.  It's not high brow racism or anything.  Run of the mill. I don't take the racism in the joke as "tongue-in-cheek".  It seems pretty straight-forward to me.

 

Reply #21 from Stardock Forums Top

It wasn't put here to show any racism on my part.  Like I said, my dearest friend here is black.   I actually posted this on purpose to see what jumped out at people.  TW you proved my point actually which is you can poke fun at almost anything....baldness, druggies, down and outers, slum dwellers, even the disabled (if done right) but don't go near saying anything about blacks.  That will get picked right up........even tho Jews and Mexicans were also part of this joke. 

I think it very interesting that while Don Imus made a racist derogatory remark about the blacks, he got fired but when David Letterman made just as offensive remark about Sarah Palin's daughter he wasn't.  This goes on quite a bit.  Miss Calif got fired for making a simple statement about marriage.   Perez Hilton calling her some very vulgar names got hero status. 

Interesting.  Don't you think? 

What if I had put Christian instead of black?  Would that have been better?    As a Christian, it wouldn't really have bothered me because I know the whole thing is a slam against Democrats....not blacks or anybody else here......as in I'd rather be black than a Democrat.  I'd rather be a Christian than a Democrat, etc. 

If anyone ought to cry out against this joke....it's the Democrats.  Are you one TW?   

 

 

 

Reply #22 from Stardock Forums Top

just to show that I do have a sense of humor.....as I was waiting for that last response to post (took a long time) I looked up at the left hand corner of the screen. 

It says......."Kicken For Christ-What a Nightmare!  8(|

Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top

I didn't say anything about blacks.

I also didn't call you racist.  I think the joke is a)  not spectacularly funny and b)  filled with bigotry.  It's not something I suspect Christ would tell. Or do you think he would?

Being Christian is a choice.  Ethnicity or race is not.  Of course, the race thing wasn't the only tasteless aspect.

The joke just seems crass coming from you.

 

 

 

Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

Yes, I'm a Jewish disabled gay drug-addled Democrat.

:rolleyes:

Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top

It's not something I suspect Christ would tell. Or do you think he would?

I always thought his famous statement "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." was uttered in that spirit. Jesus was just a lot more subtle and intelligent than KFC (no offence). But he certainly used the mechanism of comparing nominally bad things to prove a point.