You have the fastest computer in the world, and runs away from you faster than you can catch it.

I wish I could point my finger at something, yell "bang," and then it explodes (just like Chuck Norris can).

granted, you point it at your sweetheart while saying "lets go to bangkok for our honeymoon". She becomes little more than 180 pounds of sizzling ash.

I wish that Al Gore was in the white house instead of Bush. (he still won in my eyes)

Granted. Then he goes on a fact finding tour of the United States to find out about global warming and gets torn to tiny internet inventing peices by manbearpig.

Poor Al Gore. Noone took him cereal.

 

I wish that a panda would eat this game.

 

Granted. The panda eats all our computers and then dies from it. thanks to you one of the rarest creatures on our planet is dead.

Oh and cadalancea I win your last post game. i ve had the last post for almost 12 hours.

I wish my little sister wasnt a b****

granted, now she's a stuck up whore.

 

i wish i could read people's minds, but only when i want to. And nobody finds out about it.

Granted. You begin reading the minds of nearly everyone around you, but you are disgusted and horrified by what you hear. After a day, you are disgusted with the world and angry at the human race for its total lack of morality. You become a recluse, avoiding other people whenever possible and never use you powers agian. You soon blame yourseld for your deprerssion and isolation and one day run in front of a bus. You are splattered across the street.

I wish for a traditional fish-and-chips meal, freshly cooked, and with malt vinegar to put on the fish.

You get it. Unfortunately, the fish is a blowfish, and the cook isn't trained in the art of properly preparing it.

So you eat it, get poisoned, and DIE.

 

I wish that I didn't post random crappy games (like the retarded last post game. Honestly, this forum needs tired goggles. I post random crap when I'm tired. Someone lock that stupid post...)

 

 

granted, You create one of the most epic forum games in existance. However someone else takes your idea, make it into an actual game, and earns a profit by it. you try to sue, but you are banhammered.

I wish that some nice intelligent lifeforms contact us (like the vulcans from star trek)

Granted. However, the beings' society is a utopia, so their spaceships are unarmed, leaving them defenceless against the barage of nuclear missiles that pulverize them as soon as they get near the Earth. The survivors crash-land on Earth, and ar soon forced into concentration camps and forced to help adapt thier technology to ours. The aliens are worked into extinction within ten years, and a fleet of interstellar warships is soon under construction. Congratualtions, you have set in motion the extermination of an enitre species.

I wish to LEAGALLY aquire enough money to LEGALLY purchase some PSP games. 

Granted. However, your PSP breaks as soon as you buy them. PSP's die out due to Sony revealing it's true goals: world domination. No longer having time for videogames, Sony fails miserably with it's robot army of PS2's, DVD players, and TV's, due to none of them having mobility or weaponry. Stock crumbles, and the company is never heard from again. I wish I didn't write like a schizophrenic.

granted: your hands fall off and you never write again.

 

I wish i wouldn't have to DL movies and games but can ACTUALLY affort them (no government interference,bank robbery's or depressiveness please)

ranted, you now own every movie ever made. The collection is added onto daily, so even by the time you die at 81 years of age, you still havent seen them all.

I wish that all of our roads were back in perfect condition (no negativity on this one please)

granted. you go  into politics, and get elected. As a senator, you let the roads be restored to perfect state.

Unfortunatly, they had to cut into other budgets. They got the money from the health care sector, so now many hospitals are understaffed and underequipped. Even worse, while driving to work on those perfectly smooth roads, your car loses grip and a carcrash follows. They rush you to the hospital, but they can't save you because they don't have the equipment.

ahhhh, the irony...

 

I wish i wasn't sick (and don't solve this by letting me die!)

You are no longer sick, but PEDO bear contracted whatever disease that you had, and shortly thereafter dies. You change your avatar out of guilt and you are incessantly ridiculed for it.

I wish that every person alive would have atleast 1 redeaming quality.

granted, but this reedeeming quality is the same with everyone so it is no longer used as an excuse for mercy. Crime Rates soar.

I wish for ecological stability (no more global warming.....whatever that is..)

Granted such things as "global warming" and the "ice caps melting" are false and The Earth's ecological state has been the same for the whole time ,therefore the the scientists researching on how to improve the ecological state can't do so they lose their jobs and no improvements to the land,oceans,and air can be made, slowly the earth descends into an eco-disaster as everything is cooked from the sun and floods are everywhere.Every,and any, thing dies off in minutes  so you only have few to think about your wish.

I wish for faster replies.

 

 

Granted. People post faster on other forums but post the same here. it drives you insane and you kill yourself.

I wish I didnt have to do summer reading

Grarnted,but to fufill your reading habits you keep reading over and over and over all the forum posts and replies this drives you into insanity but instead of killing yourself you become a hermit who eats waffles.

I wish I didn't have to come back to life as a zombie

Granted. You come back as a vampire, and eat all your friends and family.

I wish for an AK-47 with a 100-round drum, and a 100% legit permit to use it legally.

congradulations on your new AK-47. Unfortunately your inexperience causes you to shoot your AK at an innocent bystander (that bullet travels Very far) so the police chase you down and you go down in a blaze of glory with your AK and its 99 rounds.

I wish that people stop arguing about religous stuff on the internet.

Granted, they all begin arguing about how "great" a movie Twighlight was. Slowly the Twighlight fans kill off the rest of the world by forming mobs, which means you are either dead or... worse...

I wish that the world became as it is depicted in Gears of War 2, and was subsequently hit by the zombie plague from Left 4 Dead, resulting in an amazingly awesome conflict that I got to watch in its entirety from a godlike, non-madening vantage point before succumbing to awesomeness overload. (and if it matters at all, lets say the zombie plague doesn't affect the Locust at first, but then it mutates/adapts or something along those lines)

Ender; awesome wish i applaud you...

 

Granted, you watch everyone and everything get killed by zombie mobs, but the last group of humans notices you and coletrain fires a hammer of dawn at you. you survive the fall from your hiding place, only to be eaten alive by zombies.

 

I wish i was a good student (not a nerd, just someone who gets good grades the LEGIT way. Right now i am too lazy xD)

Granted: but all the idiots in every class you take start beating you for not doing their homework

 

i wish that i could manipulate accuratly any and all forms of energy including but not limited to:

thermo, electro-magnetic, life, death, kinetic, electrick ect ect

Granted. you attempt to manipulate Amtimatter and destroy half of the country.

I wish that i win the Mega Millions Lotto

Granted. You take the ticket to the lottery office to get it cashed, but it turns out to be a fake. You are arrested for copyright infringement.

I wish movies based on video games didn't suck.