Question:              If the big quake hits the san andreas fault, and California goes into the ocean, why is it that all the gay men will be the first out of town?

Answer:     They've already got their s!it packed!!!  

That one may be shot down by the mods? Nah, we are adults telling jokes, right?  

Did you hear about the Gay burglers?

Thsy break into houses and re-decorate!

What's the last thing you take off before going to bed?

My underwear?       

Nope...try again

Your feet off the floor?

You cheated...you're not supposed to peek. I pulled that one on a few friends awhile back and it took them the better part of a day to figure it out. You get a lollipop.

TMI. eeew!

OK, here's a little brain teaser: using only 5 straight lines write what 99% of the world was fed on.

Back in the day we used to get respondants to use 5 matchsticks I I I I I .... but here the keyboard will suffice.

+|+

A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents.
What time is it?

time to wake up.. no man with children has that kind of spare cash layin around..

Unless he's really really rich.

What's crinkly, black, light brown and read all over. Hint hint...it's very old.

Time to ask for a raise in allowance!

Old newspaper?

Riddle:

How can you arrange four ordinary wineglasses on an ordinary table so that "foot" (center of the bottom of the stem) of each is the same distance from all the others? 

Back issues of Pharoh's Playmate. Ok that wasn't all that great.

Touch the bases together?

nope. that would make a square and the distance between opposite corners would be greater than the adjacent.

Stack them....duh!!  

ten to one

better....but still a bit far...

Nope!  Close but no cigar.

5.00am, and time to fetch dad's morning paper?

Um, your birth certificate???

as in using 5 straight lines for ' tit '

if your reference to no cigar if freudian, than I don't want to know

1:45

 " a quarter to two "

Place the first three in an equilateral triangle so that the foot of each is the same distance from the others as the height of a wineglass. Then place the fourth wineglass in the middle of the triangle, upside down.

When one does not know what it is, then it is something; but when one knows what it is, then it is nothing.

what it is?

Ah, I think we got it!  It's  just that I recall the straight lines being arranged to form capital letters = TiT.

Correct!

When one does not know what it is, then it is something; but when one knows what it is, then it is nothing.

what it is?