Just got back from the urologist. They are still convinced I can pass them. He gave me a script for more percoset (my hero) and some Flomax. If I don't pass them by Monday, they're going in after them with a 'basket'.

Aside from the obvious, like the words stone and urinary tract do not really belong together, niether does 'basket' and urinary tract...or basket and wally-wally for that matter. I'm not an idiot. I know there is only one way in just like there is only one way out.

When I think of a basket I think of a bread basket...or the big basket I had on the handle bars of my old Schwinn. Or a lobster basket. In this case, even 'basketball' considering what all this feels like going through me.

But then he said the only words that matter...'We'll put you to sleep first..."

I made him put it in writing. My wife thought I was being ridiculous. I said 'They don't put you to sleep to cath you, so why would I expect this to be any different?' Damn straight. Then of course she through in the 'What a whiner! Try carrying a nine pound baby and giving birth to that..."

I don't care. I got it in writing, anyway.

You're darned tootin' they don't belong together!!! 

Believe me, I speak from experience.

My doctor told me not to stress, that "they'll pass in time".  Yeah, right!

What he neglected to tell me was that it'd feel worse than a dose of clap and having the urethera scraped clean with a strand of rusty barbed wire.

Doc: "Now be sure to drink plenty of water.... and remember, try to hold on for as long as you can to build up some pressure.  That should help eject the stones more easily.

Me: "What if I don't drink water?  Fish do rude things in it, you know!!!"

Doc: "Don't be silly, water won't hurt you."

So I went home, turned on the tap and lay under it for about half an hour with my mouth open.  Well!!!!  He did say drink plenty of water... and I wasn't taking any chances that that/those stones were getting stuck halfway down my piddling equipment.

Yeah, right!!!  Despite the gallons of water, one got stuck halfway out. And it was a big sucker, too.

Imagine a boa or python after its just swallowed a medicine ball.  Well that's what my piddling equipment looked like... halfway down there's this enormous lump that's three times bigger around than the rest of it.   And OWWEEEE, did I mention that it hurt like a bitch?

It was at that time I started eying off the fire hose.  I'd seen it on TV, in prison riot movies and the like, so I figured I was gonna hook up to the fire hose in the hallway and blast that sucker right out of there.

Yup, that did the trick orright, in more ways than one.  Not only did the kidney stone become dislodged, thus avoiding the medicos having to go in after it, I didn't need to go into day surgery and get the colon cleansing I'd been booked in for.  However, I digress, as the solution left me with another dilemma... how I was going to dislodge the golf ball-sized kidney stone that had embedded itself deep in the bathroom wall.

Not being much of a home handyman, I didn't have the necessary tools, and I wasn't going to bend the missus good silver, so I got in a handyman trained for such situations.  Well he managed to dig it out after a couple of hourss... not to mention attempts and a few broken tools - geez that thing must've had some force behind it - and now, if I wear a supportive back brace, and only if I do, I wear it on a gold chain after taking it to a jeweller to get it mounted in a clasp.

All's well that ends well!  Not that I'm suggesting you'll have to resort to a fire hose or anything.

I go in tomorrow morning at 7:30 for surgery. 12 days of this shit is enough.

Hey, bud....Truly from the heart, best of luck and a super speedy recovery.

btw, have you developed a craving for "Rocky" flicks?

No, but I've been listening to a lot of Rolling Stones.

That's today here in Oz!  That's one thing we get before the US, I suppose... that's today's sunrise... every day, too.

I really do hope it all goes exceedingly well for you Po`... that you feel decidedly better afterwards.

All the best with it, mate.

Good luck and hopefully a speedy recovery.

Thanks.

*Your new avatar is freaking me out. WHAT'S in the BAG?!

 You da man, Po'.

Suffice it to say he's on his way to the Doctor's Office.

Oh.. that BAG!!!!   Let's just say that it has been appropriately filled and will be set alight on somebody's doorstep.

 Opposite sides of the planet with one thought....lol!

Sham Wow   A very annoying commercial

My bad. The percoset blurs my vision. I thought it was  abag.

All the best Po, we will be waiting for you when you get back

good luck brother man...get better soon.

Bitch! I meant good luck Bitch!

All the best Noah on a successful surgery and a speedy recovery.

Yup, and at least he won't have to blast 'em out with a fire hose.

Passing a kidney stone (of any magnitude) is not a pleasant experience.

And the doctors say it'll be alright, just drink plenty of water.  Personally, I think a few shots of rum would be the better lubricant.  It mightn't lubricate per se`, but ye shure don't care 'alf as much wiiv a few nips o' nectar under yer belt.

Come to think of it... which I do, my former brother-in-law had to have surgery for kidney stones, and while they were in there the surgeon discovered he had an extra bowel.  Yup, true story!!!  I always thought he was full of shit - as in twice as much as the average bullshit artist - and that proved it.  They removed the second bowel, obviously, so that he could lead a normal life minus the abdominal pain/discomfort 

Not that it made a difference, however... he's still full of it.

Probably from knowing you, Cap'n.... the only way he could compete with gas production.   

Oh no, there was NO competition there.  I beat him hands down in the 'gas' department.  He just beat me hands down in the... um, being 'full of it' department.  I once said to him that he ought to carry a box of tissues, and when he asked why, I said: "Because you're always dribbling shit!"

Had surhery. Stone had broke and got stuck.

Instead of waking up pain free I woke up worse than before. Because of the stone breaking, getting stuck and all the inflamation they have put a stint in. I don't even have words to describe tha pain I am in. I'm in and out on the drugs. CVhecking in here and lurking around to keep my mind off of things. Thanks for all the support.

Oh crap. The in and out? I'd choose 'out'. Sorry, bud...but at least they're out. The inflammation will die down. Gobble them pills, and drink fluids. Lemonade and grapefruit juice...they'll make thirsty and you'll drink more that way.

Sorry you had to have the stent....but thank G-d they exist. Without that they'd have to do a nephrostomy...and that's no fun at all. Sent you a 'special' get well.

He actually looks like my kinda doc.