EDIT: Just to be clear, I think that Rook is a very strong Demigod with a lot of potential for interesting gameplay. But he's not easy mode (like he was in the betas); you have to know how to play him and play to his strengths. Many new players overestimate his power and toughness, especially early in the game. This post is a somewhat fanciful rendition of the inner dialog of a Rook controlled by one of these new players.
Arrr. I. Am. Rook. Arrr. I. Am. Big. And. Strong. And. Hard. To. Kill. Arr.
I. Shall. Attack. The. Enemy. Arrr
I. Move. Forward.
Moving.
Moving.
I. Shall. Slam. My. Hammer. ARRR! *crunch*
Wow. I. Am. Really. Strong. I. Shall. Attack. Their. Tower. Now. Arrr! *whack* *whack*
Oh. A. Demigod. Ha. Ha. It. Does. Not. Know. What. It. Is. In. For. ARR! *slap* *slap*
Wait.
What. Is. This. Sensation?
I. Feel. Pain. A. Horrible. Crumbling. In. My. Outer. Bulwarks.
My. Health. Is. Decreasing.
Perhaps. I. Should. Run?
No. Well. Actually. Perhaps. Yes.
Running.
Running.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. So. Slow.
Why. Am. I. Taking. Damage? I. Am. A. Tower.
This. Cannot. Be. Happening.
Why. Am. I. So. Slow? How. Am. I. Supposed. To. Get. Away?
*die*
Oh. My. God. Rook. Sucks.