Banned for someone has a lot of time on his hands.

Banned for forgetting about Copy n Paste

Banned for pasting it on

I just bought a micro wave fireplace... You can spend an entire evening in front of it in only eight minutes. 

Banned for having 8 minute evenings.... not enough time for nooky, much less the foreplay.

Banned for play.

Banned for narcotics

banned for being a narc

Banned for being narcissistic

banned for not accepting narcissism

banned for not accepting that you're beautiful just the way you are.

Banned because beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Banned because beauty can be paid for in a plastic surgeon's clinic

banned because beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Banned for beauty is only skin deep.

banned for only going for skin

Banned because I wouldn't know anything about that. Or flesh, or bone for that matter.

banned for it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

banned for AMV awesomeness using Berserk

Banned for going berserk in the presence of awesomeness

Banned for being jerked in the presence of awesome tan lines.

Banned for the Ramses brand condom is named after the great Pharaoh Ramses 11, who fathered over 160 children. 

banned for that's a crappy condom.

Banned for being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

Banned for Plaster of Paris didn't come along until after Paris got plastered at Troy.