Banned because you have to be really clever to make shit like that up. The real world is sillier (and scarier) than any soap or satire could hope to be.

Courthouse security is banned because they didn't think to recruit enough closeted lesbians to cover that gaff. I won't go searching myself, but I'm about 99% certain that there's at least one up-skirt site that's by girls, for girls. 21st century and all... 

banned for your face will stick that way.

Well, the 'don't ask; don't tell' thing can protect gays as much as anything. That aside, I do find it funny that no one thought of it sooner and that they both decided to put guards there AND have them all be male. Awesome as hell. Personally, I think frosted glass or, better yet, a staircase I wouldn't worry about shattering from beneath me would be a better solution. Modern is not always what it's cracked up to be.

Banned because doing stuff for lulz works out fine until you get kicked from the server for nuking your own team...

Xer0 \^/

Banned because all LulzSec are scum with no lives.

Scoutdog banned for having a problem with don't ask don't tell.

Banned for being a Southern Grammar Nazi.

Banned because my Southron family dates back to the late 18th and Paula Deen scares me sometimes.

A few Decembers ago, I went with a friend to visit her ex-husband and his wife. Both of them were on one of the common cholesterol meds (I forget which one). Among the holiday fare around the house was a Paula Deen dish--bread pudding made with Krispy Kreme doughnuts instead of bread. I took one bite that hurt my teeth. Surreal food, that was.

Banned because this is the New South and, like I said, Paula's a little scary sometimes.

I like my cornbread without sugar, but my more-momma used to make a sweet spoon bread that was awesome dessert.

Don't know Cajun cuisine well, but am pretty sure not all the classic dishes are spicy. Unless they shun dessert entirely?

Chicken and dumplings is one of those family things. I've read about people who use a sort of fresh pasta and call that "dumplings." I've never heard of a crust--that sounds like a pot pie to me, not dumplings. My mom's recipe used bone-in pieces of chicken (usually thighs) and she covered the top with biscuits that steam-stewed instead of baked. Gods but I wish I'd learned to make that myself... 

banned for very good stuff.

Spoon bread and cornbread are two different things. Just like bread pudding is a classic dessert (it's not all spicy, but a lot of it is). And chicken and dumplings isn't simply a family thing. Yes, many people do it differently in this or that way, but there are a few trends. If it's made up like a casserole (the biscuits thing sounds pretty close to that), then it's made up northern style. Sometimes I see them add a little before the meat to add something of a lining (hence my crust reference). The classic southern style is to boil up your whole chicken (it's not plain, there are spices and what not), strip the meat off the bone and back into the pot (some aren't so worried about getting much more than the big ones), then while it's at a full boil drop your individual dumplings in (rolled flat dough made of your choice of baking mix), making sure they fully submerge as they drop. It's like a stew when you're done.

As for the 'New South', it sounds like every other trend-following, metro-sexual, fusion-cuisine bull crap I hear spewing from the far corners of Hell's grip on Earth. Paula Deen ain't home-down and Jeff Foxworthy ain't that redneck.

Banned for not knowing what game it is.

banned for careful reading

Banned because it's still a great laugh to think about a featured speaker parading into a conference hall and showing off a drug-induced boner.

@Draak: Don't be a hater. The New South is a good thing overall. Pride of heritage combined with humility about the really awful parts of that heritage. Ron White is the only Blue Collar guy I like. Paula Deen may have gone off the noveau-riche deep end, but she has honest roots. And that dumpling business is most definitely not a matter of physics, law, or your opinion as revealed truth. My mom worked and doing that long-form pulled chicken version is for special occasions when you've got all day. Triple banned for daring to question my mom's chicken & dumplings.  

Self-banned because I finally remembered my source for the boner-drug story. The researcher's name is Giles Brindley and the version of the story I read is on pp. 254-255 of A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis, by David Friedman.