Search
Forum Home | Login
thatoneguyinslc
thatoneguyinslc
Join Date 07/2004
+1

Official JU Democratic response to the election

Alternate title: How to stop worrying and learn to love bush 2.0!

November 3, 2004 6:16:53 PM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Ahem...

I would like to offer a response from those of us here on JU who supported John Kerry during this election.

("God Bless America" playing in background)

We of the democratic persuasion offer our heartfelt congratulations to the winner of this years presidential election, Mr george walker bush 2.0 Inc. You showed us that it is possible to piss off the majority of the country and the rest of the planet, but still manage to pull it together at the last minute...and actually win a presidential election.


We are looking foreward to another four years of your administration and their wacky hijinks. Four more years of Dick Cheney’s smiling face (it's like sunshine!), four more years of dazzling foreign policy, four more years of this dynamic, vibrant economy and all the fabulous high paying jobs that come with it. Four more years of sane and rational environmental legislation. And twenty more years of fair and balanced rulings from the Supreme Court!

We democrats would also like to apologize for coming off as a tad angry this year. It's been rough for us. (Spreading all those lies and keeping Michael Moore stocked up on Ho-Ho's for 365 days straight will make you a little edgy) We're sorry. We should have realized that it was a lost cause after bush 2.0's mesmerizing appearances during the presidential debates. Most of what he said was so brilliant it was hard for us to understand, being ignorant uninformed voters and all. We were such fools!

We the democrats of JU would also like to apologize to our brothers and sisters on the right side of the political spectrum here on our happy little corner of the internet, who have been so gracious in their victory. We have been mean to you, and we deeply regret it. We were particularly cruel and had no business emailing photoshopped pictures of you to various adult websites. We will be more than happy to send apology letters to any of you where were singled out and your spouses, significant others, life partners, clergy or local party officials. We are deeply sorry for not keeping our silly little opinions to ourselves, and we are going to make sure that in the future we never refer to the president as "Shrub" "Gilligan" or "Rain Man" ever again.
(2.0 is still on the table. Sorry!)

In closing, we finally realize that there's no fighting it. We decided we should just give up and join the Republican Party. It's no use, we can’t win…You got us! We don’t want to fall perilously to the wayside and be left to oblivion. We need to be saved! Please help us help ourselves. We can't do it without your unquestionable logic and reason. We are willing to give up all of our silly beliefs such as personal liberties and affordable heath care. What were we thinking? We should have known that corporate America and the religious right have a better understanding of what’s good for us and we will try to live up to the high standards that they set forth. It’s the least we can do to make up for our transgressions.

Last but not least I would like to send out a personal thank you to Deadzombie for his post which inspired our transformation…This man should run for office! His moving and sympathetic words moved me to no end. (In fact I broke down several times while typing this.) God bless you sir for setting us all straight. We are in your debt!

Signed,
The Democrats of JU

P.S. If you like, we can offer Myrrander, Champas, and/or the liberal of your choice as a human sacrifice if needed. Please RSVP ASAP

democrat
Locked Post
Search this post
Advanced Search
Subscription Options
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
2 Pages1 2 
thatoneguyinslc
thatoneguyinslc
Join Date 07/2004
+1
Reply #1 November 3, 2004 6:31:05 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Just for the record folks.....This is meant as a JOKE. Thanks!
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Dr Guy
Join Date 09/2004
+129
Reply #2 November 3, 2004 6:36:00 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

We of the democratic persuasion offer our heartfelt congratulations to the winner of this years presidential election, Mr george walker bush 2.0 Inc. You showed us that it is possible to piss off the majority of the country and the rest of the planet, but still manage to pull it together at the last minute...and actually win a presidential election.

If it was a joke, why the lower case, condescending title, and lack of proper title?  Ok, I get it.  Hahahaha.

Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
d3adz0mbie
Join Date 10/2002
0
Reply #3 November 3, 2004 6:37:05 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Good call. All your base are belong to us.
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Myrrander
Join Date 09/2004
0
Reply #4 November 3, 2004 6:46:37 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Thanks for the shout out. I think.
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
messybuu
Join Date 05/2002
0
Reply #5 November 3, 2004 6:47:24 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
If it was a joke, why the lower case, condescending title, and lack of proper title?  Ok, I get it.  Hahahaha.


What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula!
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
thatoneguyinslc
Join Date 07/2004
+1
Reply #6 November 3, 2004 6:56:40 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Buu....you crack me up! You earned an insightful!
I think Dr Guy's prognosis is that he has an aversion to sarcastic humor.. Hell my guy lost and i still think the whole thing is funny!

Myr....We will fight to the death to make sure ya dont get crucified. if you assimilate NOW!
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Myrrander
Join Date 09/2004
0
Reply #7 November 3, 2004 7:14:21 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Yup. I'm trying my best. I nuked a gay baby whale in an abortion clinic in the name of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ just this afternoon. While wearing my vintage Nixon/Agnew campaign button and a Ronald Reagan mask. There's hope for me yet.
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
bakerstreet
Join Date 03/2001
+7
Reply #8 November 3, 2004 7:16:06 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Human sacrifices have to be human, i think...
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
thatoneguyinslc
Join Date 07/2004
+1
Reply #9 November 3, 2004 7:18:28 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Myr, you can be our poster boy for reformation
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Draginol
Join Date 03/2001
+137 moderator
Reply #10 November 3, 2004 7:19:46 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Welcome to the Republican party. Once they take your soul, they let you keep a bit of it in a jar. I have mine on the top of my refrigerator so when I get food I can say with my hollowed-out voice "Hi there, little soul. I'm off to feast on babies now.."
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Grim Xiozan
Join Date 08/2004
0
Reply #11 November 3, 2004 7:21:22 PM
from PoliticalMachine ForumsPoliticalMachine Forums
Badnarik got the most votes of the legitimate third parties and I ralphed at the television twice in these past 2 days, once when the exit polls said Kerry was going to win, and second time when Bush won but than I just went ahead an ralphed on Ralph because he looks better that way!!

Yo quiero Badnarik!!

Human sacrifices, hey, that is my department I run the Virgins and Sluts Sacrificial Offerings Company. We supply sacrifices for all occasions. Hell, we had a big order from John Kerry that we could barely fill and than we got an order from Karl Rove for the fat of unborn babies, which got followed up by Daschle's order for deceased Native Americans (specfically Geronimo, Sitting Bull, Chief Little Turtle, etc.)!!
"We supply them, you sacrifice them!!"

Remember that is Virgins and Sluts Sacrificial Offerings Company down Interstate 66 at exit 6!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Human Sacrificial Plinko!!
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
shadesofgrey
Join Date 02/2004
+16
Reply #12 November 3, 2004 7:21:28 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Welcome to the Republican party. Once they take your soul, they let you keep a bit of it in a jar. I have mine on the top of my refrigerator so when I get food I can say with my hollowed-out voice "Hi there, little soul. I'm off to feast on babies now.."


I am laughing so hard I am crying.
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
thatoneguyinslc
Join Date 07/2004
+1
Reply #13 November 3, 2004 7:26:25 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
You guys kill me......It's nice to see that we can all laugh at this whole mess regardless of party! Well....most of us

Brad...that is the funniest thing i have read for quite sometime!
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Grim Xiozan
Join Date 08/2004
0
Reply #14 November 3, 2004 7:35:25 PM
from PoliticalMachine ForumsPoliticalMachine Forums
I have Cheney's soul in a Canopic Jar on the mantle above my fireplace, and I tell you what it keeps the room COLD during summer and winter!!

Soul Plinko!!
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Dr Guy
Join Date 09/2004
+129
Reply #15 November 3, 2004 8:21:26 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Buu....you crack me up! You earned an insightful!
I think Dr Guy's prognosis is that he has an aversion to sarcastic humor.. Hell my guy lost and i still think the whole thing is funny!

Nope.  I said Haha.  As in I see your point, as in ok, as in, it is not funny or sarcastic.

haha.  Sarcasm requires some amount of wit.

Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
thatoneguyinslc
Join Date 07/2004
+1
Reply #16 November 3, 2004 10:26:08 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Funny that you bring up the subject of wit....Seeing as you have none of your own to speak of. That makes you an "expert" right?
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Nexus
Join Date 01/0001
+13
Reply #17 November 4, 2004 12:44:47 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
And they will joust amongst wires, before the end of days.......
I was so inspired by the collective apology, I turned over a new leaf and got Bush's face tattooed right on my ass. I am starting a cult as well. Right before Bush destroys the entire Universe, I will drink the poisonous Koolaid.
Maybe I should mix up a batch for short notice. Party at my house!!!!!
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Grim Xiozan
Join Date 08/2004
0
Reply #18 November 4, 2004 1:43:06 AM
from PoliticalMachine ForumsPoliticalMachine Forums
Well why you all commit suicide because of a supposed coming Armageddon I will be pissing on your graves because you ruined my plan for Population Control to counteract the growing overpopulation crisis!! Than I will piss on your graves because the world will still be here after you are gone!!

I REALLY REALLY need to quit pissing in people's Wheaties I think it making people too touchy and sour.

Oh well, there is always tomorrow when I can quit pissing in their Wheaties.

Pissin' in the Wheaties Plinko!!
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
thatoneguyinslc
Join Date 07/2004
+1
Reply #19 November 4, 2004 12:49:35 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Grim....your freakin me out... I was thinking about deleting that guys post, but if i did, you would look like a total wacko. And we cant have that now can we?
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Grim Xiozan
Join Date 08/2004
0
Reply #20 November 4, 2004 2:53:26 PM
from PoliticalMachine ForumsPoliticalMachine Forums
Grim....your freakin me out...


Well I had to make fun of that post because somebody to the thread a wee bit too seriously, and I loathe the whole defeatist end times attitude!!

Face it the world will not be destroyed until I have my Doomsday Device constructed and yes I have been playing Evil Genius (PC Game and myself) too much!!

Muhahahahaha Plinko!!
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
DPS
Join Date 11/2004
0
Reply #21 November 4, 2004 3:16:22 PM
from PoliticalMachine ForumsPoliticalMachine Forums
"the religious right have a better understanding of what’s good for us and we will try to live up to the high standards that they set forth. It’s the least we can do to make up for our transgressions."

I don't know about them but I always thought their God was an authoutarian communist with all the "Rich will be last so give to the poor" and "fire and brimstone" talk.

I think that now that Bush has proved he will be president for the next 4 years I can go from Anti-Bush back to rooting for the Libertarian Party.

But mark my words... if he tries to free Cuba(supposedly that's what he promised Florida) I will send a media blitz big as I can muster against him, which isn't much.
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Myrrander
Join Date 09/2004
0
Reply #22 November 4, 2004 3:33:50 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Don't feel bad thatoneguy...Dr. Guy's lone joke is asking each liberal in turn if they are, in fact, Dan Rather. He can't possibly be counted on to laugh at any other joke.

Today I read the Bible to a group of homeless drains on society, burned some toxic waste, conducted a smear campaign against one of my fellow teachers (calling her a flip-flopping french bitch), invaded Syria, and placed wiretaps in all my students' lockers.

I am trying to win a place in the Shrub 2.0 cabinet, especially now that Reverend Ashcroft is leaving.
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
thatoneguyinslc
Join Date 07/2004
+1
Reply #23 November 5, 2004 12:03:22 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I just found out that Nexus is my pal Bethany..... She has a warped little brain and sense of humor! Shows what kinda whackos i hang out with eh? (don't slap me too hard beth)...

Myr....I'm thinking you're the perfect candidate for Secretary of "Keepin it real"
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
Nexus
Join Date 01/0001
+13
Reply #24 November 6, 2004 5:47:36 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Warped humor or not,
at least I'm not a sick old man.
I love you Brian.
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
thatoneguyinslc
NJforever
Join Date 11/2004
0
Reply #25 November 6, 2004 6:16:35 PM
from PoliticalMachine ForumsPoliticalMachine Forums
In regards to mass suicide, never drink the Kool-Aid before anybody else, because they always change their minds once your dead. Im just glad that mad scientist helped me cheat death (twice). I could have sworn the Universe was ending! Both times!
Reason for Karma (Optional)
Successfully updated karma reason!
2 Pages1 2 
View all recent posts
Mark all posts as read Delete cookies created by the forum Return to Top
Stardock Forums v        Server Load Time:   Page Render Time:
Stardock Entertainment

Press | Support
Copyright © 2025 Stardock Entertainment. The Political Machine is a trademark of Stardock Entertainment. Steam and the Steam logo are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Valve Corporation in the U.S. and/or other countries. All rights reserved.