MyEWoM

PROLOGUE:

Year 2010 and something.

Somewhere in Spain (not to the south of Mexico, mind you).

Winty: Ok, time to start a new game of Elemental. *launches the game* I think i'll go for some single player experience. *click on Single Player Mode* I think i'll try that “Omega” size map. In the manual it says that it creates the largest map that your computer settings can handle. *click* Hmmmm. 100 Petas? What the hell is a peta? Anyways, i'll let the sliders in Magical Research and Technologial Research as they are. But I want more random dungeons on my world. I always have lots of fun with them. And I'll lower the frequency of the random events. Hmmmm. I'm not going to disable tech trading... Hmmm. But I don't want to allow magic trade. It sucks. *some clicks* As I want an epic experience, I'll disable Influence, Enlightment and Alliance victory conditions but I'll leave checked the "End game with Channeler's death" option. *some more thinking and clicking later* Off those Truly-Mega-Epic Events check. I have heard very bad things about that "Giant squirrel invasion" event. *click* Now I’ll set up like… 5 AI opponents, mixing the Men and the Fallen. “Chicken Run” difficulty level because I feel like it…

*some clicks later*

Winty: Ok, now that I have finished tweaking the conditions of the game world, time to set up my Channeler. I'm going to play a human female... *clicks the option* Name… Hmmmm. Winty Tearsong! And about background, I think that I'll take “Merchant”. A boost to economy and trade in general will be sweet to have. *more clicks* Now, now, what about traits? Hmmmm. "Life Affinity" is a must, so I can summon stronger and cheaper "Avenging Angels". “Crystal Affinity” is a must too to get extra magic energy from crystal shards. Also, I think that "Hentai Chick", a special trait only for female channelers, will be nice to have as it gives me a great boost to diplomacy against male AI Channelers. I could have picked “Courtier” background for the same effect but I prefer to get more money and this trait is a cheap way to get also diplomacy bonus. The trait also gives a huge boost to morale for straight and bisexual men, at the cost of losing some unspecified combat attack force, when my channeler fights in the same battle. Hmm. Lesbians get the morale boost but don't get the penalty to attack, I wonder why. Well, it’s also fun because in the “Avatar Mode” I’ll have unlocked new parts for my channeler, included some epic boobs that defy all known laws of physics and common sense. *some scrolling through the traits list* “Lucky Fella” and “Silver Tongue” will complete it. I’ll save the rest of points as character points. Hmmm I’m taking “Weak to tentacled monsters” flaw to get some extra character points and it also fits my “Hentai Chick” trait.

*some clicks later*

Winty: Oook, let’s see what I can do with these character points… I get a “Charisma” and “Will” bonus for being a female but get a penalty to “Strength” and “Leadership” for the same reason. Big boobs distract my people too much? Anyways, let’s increase “Intelligence” and “Charisma”. I will need them for research and diplomacy in general *some clicks* Hmmmmmmmm. Ok, I think that some more “Constitution” wouldn’t be a bad idea. Just in case, of course. *some more clicks* I need to specialize in “Life Magic”, that will also as a side bonus increase all my channeler’s stats a bit. The rest of points better used in skills. *some scrolling through the skills list* “Barter” *click click click* “Diplomacy”… *click click click* “Smuggling”… *click click* “Lies”… *click click click click* “Seduce”… *click click click* “Blame Others”… *click click click click click click click*

*some clicks later*

Winty: Ok, dokie. “Avatar Mode” now. This should be easy. Let’s start with the epic boobs… *click* Blonde… *click* Erm, not blonde. Brunnete better. *click * Hmmm. Color of the eyes… *click click* Height… *click click click* Shoe size… *click*

*many more clicks later*

Winty: Finally! Civilization selection! I can choose one of the twelve different civilizations that come with the game or play with one of my own. I have always wanted to play Amazons in this kind of game and finally I can do it. I haven’t picked the “Lesbian” trait tough, so I would lose some nice morale bonus to my population. Also, my population will grow very slowly, based on women flocking to my cities, the cities I raid or the ones I conquer. Raiding cities, although in character, will be war sooner than later and I prefer to turtle… And enemy cities I conquer, although they suppose a natural boost to my global population, they reduce the population flocking. Alternatives would be to “trade for intercourse” as means to increase my population while gaining some peace points with the AI. But that option will lower the morale of my Amazons. And the “Create true human life” spell is too high in the “Life Magic” spell tree. Hmmm. Nah, I’ll just play with this other civilization I downloaded from Impulse: Estikapdias. They are a war and life oriented civilization. They will suffer a minor lose in morale due to my “Hentai Chick” trait but their life oriented nature will make them good life magic users and their war attitude will make my cities easier to defend while I develop my civilization. Hmmm. Well, they seem to have a penalty in diplomacy against any other civilization that isn’t life oriented… Bah, my boobs will deal with that. Erm… my channeler’s boobs. *some clicks* I like the style of the buildings for this civilization but the people seem to be all german folk. I’ll edit them to resemble Japanese folk. That fits better with my “Hentai Chick” trait, I think. *some more clicks, scrolls, zooms and the like in the “Civilization Editor”* Yatta! Estikapdias a la Japanese! Only need to edit a bit the coat of arms… *some clicks, drags and drops* There! All set up! Ready to rumble!!

*CLICK*