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Real things, crazy things, pictures of things, all useful or not. Please keep it clean.
A zipper you can't get caught in.
Don't need Warp drive, m1...just a colonoscope. 
Unless you are in prison, in which case the statement would read "Where every man has gone before..."
To get back on topic before this REALLY get out of hand.. 
...
Wish someone would invent...
A civilized population civilizer... Then the civilized world could perhaps be civilized, as it claims to be... Now that would be wonderful. 
An Admin button which, when pressed enables a hand to reach through the appropriate recipient's monitor and strangle the last breath out of some twit who patently deserves it.
I guess that would depend on your def of "sivilized", wouldn't it?
How about a "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you button"? Only it works on EVERYONE equally and simultaneously. My oh my.
A monitor that senses a hand coming through it and chops it off guillotine style.
anti-hand security suite including hand wall, antispy handware, antikeystroke and trojan handware, updates and nail clippers.
Home 
(Any other place is better than this dump)
A mind controlled mouse and keyboard.
A real-life restore point function.
It's called your *Wand*
People have too different views on what might be appropriate for others to do unto them.
I mean... Some people think it's ok to get a gentle slap on the bottom every now and then, it doesn't make it right for them to give every other person a gentle slap on the bottom, does it?
I suggest something like a "Give other the same freedom of choice as you expect to get from them"-button with "applied common sense (tm)" included...
A way to read my wifes Mind ( as she some how seems to think Im supposed to be able to do this already). As well as a Translation device to decypher the data.
/me heads off to his nothing box...
HG_E: From one man's experiene:
A Woman's Language, translated to English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
She's cute = She's ugly
He's hot = He's hot
Do you think I look pretty? = I look pretty, and you should say I do too
What's are you doing right now? = Nothing because you're bored without me.
I don't want anything for (my birthday/Christmas) = Surprise me with more than your empty hands.
What are you doing tomorrow? = Want to do something with me tomorrow?
Who was that? = Who do I need to kill?
How much money do you have? = How much of your money can I spend?
Do you think that girl is pretty? = You better not think that girl is pretty.
Call me = Call me or I'll make you cry
A Woman's Behavior, analyzed:
Laughs a lot = Flirt with me.
Watch out. These women will kill you by playing on your pride. Use the buddy system to stay above water and not drown in their flattery.
Glares a lot = I want to kill you.
Watch out X 2. Travel in packs around girls that do this. You need at least four men. One to fight her off/hold her back, and three to run for help. I personally like to do the latter.
Talks to herself = I've heard of girls whispering, "The end is near" randomly…um…see solution to "Glares a lot."
I have a feeling that even the most successful attempts on such a device would render a result like this;
"Checking target marital status"
"Activating listen mode (Wife)"
"Incoming mindwaves (Channel Wife)"
"applying random emotion algorithm"
"extracting fragments of reasonably fulfillable wishes..."
"Failed translating data to male action patterns; TARGET returns [Male Logical Processing Unit, incompatible version (husband), expected roses and chocolate. Activating fryingpan retreival process]"
I tried to make it as non-gender-biased as possible... But I'm not so sure I succeeeded.
I should have used the original... R' Hillel said:
Do not do to others what you would not have them do to you.
Though It doesn't invalidate my point anyway...
Me, R' Hillel or both of us? I'm sure we both have done things to deserve it, 
A remote that control's your children.. set permanently to CLEAN YOUR ROOM SON.
I think I need someone to invent a monitor poo guard. The big monkey declared war.
You can try, but you can't possibly stop it all. 
Yeah! Even the monkey's know how bad that can be!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrUmzZkF8tU 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prtsIbjTjQc&feature=related
I wish somebody would invent portable potholes... so that when you hit one you can reverse, pick it up and move it outside of fat arsed bureaucrats houses to annoy the crap out of them instead.
A download button that automatically sent the skinner a free pizza.Toppings of their choice,of course.
"A remote that control's your children" with a mute button also.
I wish somebody would invent an automated curried cabbage gas capture device... to save me having to sit on these little jars several... er, hundreds of times every day. 
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