A (Long) Night in Rodanthe

from JoeUser Forums

I am a guy. I like guy stuff…like guy movies. But, I consider myself a romantic; and that includes taking in a good chick-flick. So, when we decided to use a pass to the silver screen showing of Nights in Rodanthe, I was all for it. After all, it was from Nicholas Sparks, author of what I consider the best love story of all time, The Notebook. I cry every time I see Noah crawl into his wife’s hospital bed. I’m a sucker for sap.

 

Watching Rodanthe was akin to watching bumpers attached to vehicles on an assembly line. Gere, who I happen to like, was drab and dull, second only to Costner in Sparks’ other disaster movie, Message in a Bottle. I think I saw Lane in the movie once, but I had to ask for confirmation. Somehow, these two managed to make Eastwood and Steep look energetic. (If you saw The Bridges of Madison County, you know what I mean.) I found The Bride of Chucky to be more romantic.

 

*Spoiler Alert* (Trust me…read this and save seven bucks and 97 minutes of your life.):

 

Title: [LONG] Nights in Rodanthe

 

Starring: Richard Gere (played by Mr. Bill…and anyone old enough to connect to Gere’s character is old enough to remember Mr. Bill) and Diane Lane (played by corrugated cardboard)

 

Script:

Gere: Oh, nooooo. I killed somebody and I need to move, but I have nowhere to go. I’ll book a room on a beach about to be hit by a hurricane.

Lane: Welcome to the Inn.

Gere: ZZZ…

Lane: Hungry?

Gere: ZZZ…Did you say something?

(A hurricane comes ashore and blows real hard flapping a few shutters.)

Gere: Oh, nooooo.

Lane: Let’s kiss.

Gere: O kaaaaaay.

Gere and Lane: ZZZ…

Gere: (Running his finger over Lane’s shoulder.) [Gere: I have to read these cheesy lines ‘cause they’re paying me to do so, but guys, if you ever repeat these lines, you WILL get dumped.]

Lane: (Walking on the beach picking up skateboards washed ashore from the misguided surfers who tried to hang ten with wheels, I guess.) I should be somewhere else.

Gere: I have to go.

Lane: (Relieved.) Okay.

Gere: Oh, nooooo. SPLAT!

Lane: (Crying.) Oh, noooo. Horses on the beach! I’m all better. (Credits roll.)

 

Needless to say, I didn’t get my money’s worth…and I had a free pass.

 

Since we’re talking movies, head over to the Friday Five (Sunday Edition), and let’s talk movies…

http://sh-80.joeuser.com/article/325901/Friday_Five_Sunday_Edition

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17,883 views 5 replies
Reply #1 from Stardock Forums Top

LOL - nice recap 

Reply #2 from Stardock Forums Top

I agree.  Funny recap.  Thanks for saving 97 minutes of my life.  Sometimes the time we lose is more important than the ticket price.

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Reply #3 from Stardock Forums Top

:pout:  I am bummed..I really wanted this to be a good movie. Thanks for saving me some time. I guess it will be a DVD night when nothing else is on.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

I went and saw Eagle Eye last night. Started out really good but got awfully far fetched in towards the end...

Reply #5 from Stardock Forums Top

I am bummed..I really wanted this to be a good movie.

Sorry...Again, remember this is from "his" point-of-view; but, from a "him" who happens to be a fan of Sparks' writing (although I didn't read this one). My wife thought it was okay, and she had read the book.

I guess it will be a DVD night when nothing else is on.
 

It is worth renting on DVD. That way, if you're snuggled on the couch, at least you can fall asleep confortably...The movie theater seats are that great for napping...Trust me, I'd know.