What Is Your Ethical I.Q.?

Take a quick quiasi-cosmo-quiz

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June 10, 2008 10:13 PM from

JoeUser Forums

from feeback.com

Take the Ethical I.Q. Test!

A quasi-Cosmo-quiz.

Answer thirty-five hypothetical ethical questions, and find out your score!

Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Staining a Pretty Blue Dress
2. Creating a Secret Propaganda Campaign to Manufacture a False Case for War Against Iraq
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Falsely, Systematically, and with Criminal Intent Conflating the Attacks of September 11, 2001, With Misrepresentation of Iraq as a Security Threat as Part of Fraudulent Justification for a War of
  Aggression
2. Prevaricating About an Extramarital Erection Exam
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Locally Redefining the Term "Heat-Seeking Missile"
2. Misleading the American People and Members of Congress to Believe Iraq Possessed Weapons of Mass Destruction, to Manufacture a False Case for War
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Misleading the American People and Members of Congress to Believe Iraq Posed an Imminent Threat to the United States
2. Promoting Your Two-Ball General
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Giving the Bald-Headed Butler a Raise
2. Illegally Misspending Funds to Secretly Begin a War of Aggression
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Invading Iraq in Violation of the Requirements of HJRes114
2. Lighting a Candle...In Your Pants‼
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Getting Your Bayonet Polished
2. Invading Iraq Absent a Declaration of War.
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Invading Iraq, A Sovereign Nation, in Violation of the UN Charter
2. Having One's Kielbasa Caressed
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Playing a Skin-Flute Tune in the Afternoon
2. Failing to Provide Troops With Body Armor and Vehicle Armor
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Falsifying Accounts of US Troop Deaths and Injuries for Political Purposes
2. Having Your Flagpole Varnished
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Sheathing One's Sword
2. Establishment of Permanent U.S. Military Bases in Iraq
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Initiating a War Against Iraq for Control of That Nation's Natural Resources
2. Taking the Dog Out for a Walk
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Meeting the One-Eyed Milkman in the Morning
2. Creating a Secret Task Force to Develop Energy and Military Policies With Respect to Iraq and Other Countries
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Misprision of a Felony, Misuse and Exposure of Classified Information And Obstruction of Justice in the Matter of Valerie Plame Wilson, Clandestine Agent of the Central Intelligence Agency
2. Getting Help Pulling the Rusty Pump Handle
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Greasing a Pipe
2. Providing Immunity from Prosecution for Criminal Contractors in Iraq
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Reckless Misspending and Waste of U.S. Tax Dollars in Connection With Iraq and US Contractors
2. Dusting Off a Bone
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Evangelizing About Your Noodly Appendage
2. Detaining Indefinitely And Without Charge Persons Both U.S. Citizens and Foreign Captives
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Secretly Authorizing, and Encouraging the Use of Torture Against Captives in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Other Places, as a Matter of Official Policy
2. Hooking the Night-Crawler in a Turtleneck
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Letting the Pendulum Swing Free
2. Kidnapping People and Taking Them Against Their Will to "Black Sites" Located in Other Nations, Including Nations Known to Practice Torture
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Imprisoning Children
2. Having Your Hose Drained
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Giving Away Free Protein Shakes
2. Misleading Congress and the American People About Threats from Iran, and Supporting Terrorist Organizations Within Iran, With the Goal of Overthrowing the Iranian Government
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Creating Secret Laws
2. Wetting Your Wick
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Getting Your Shaft Mined for Ore
2. Violation of the Posse Comitatus Act
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Spying on American Citizens, Without a Court-Ordered Warrant, in Violation of the Law and the Fourth Amendment
2. Allowing Your Lollipop to be Licked
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Giving Sight to Old, Blind Dick
2. Directing Telecommunications Companies to Create an Illegal and Unconstitutional Database of the Private Telephone Numbers and Emails of American Citizens
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Announcing the Intent to Violate Laws with Signing Statements
2. Crowning a New King
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Batting With a Third Arm
2. Failing to Comply with Congressional Subpoenas and Instructing Former Employees Not to Comply
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Tampering with Free and Fair Elections, Corruption of the Administration of Justice
2. Taking the Lance Out for a Joust
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Letting a Bunny Gnaw Your Carrot
2. Conspiracy to Violate the Voting Rights Act of 1965
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Misleading Congress and the American People in an Attempt to Destroy Medicare
2. Getting Your Taffy Pulled
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Finding a Winner for Hum That Tune
2. Failure to Plan for the Predicted Disaster of Hurricane Katrina, Failure to Respond to a Civil Emergency
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Misleading Congress and the American People, Systematically Undermining Efforts to Address Global Climate Change
2. Cleaning One's Rifle
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Buttering a Corncob
2. Repeatedly Ignored and Failed to Respond to High Level Intelligence Warnings of Planned Terrorist Attacks in the US, Prior to 911.
Which would be the more pardonable transgression?
1. Obstruction of the Investigation into the Attacks of September 11, 2001
2. Teaching a Class in Eel Wrestling
Which would be the more grievous offense?
1. Seeing that the Worm is Wriggled
2. Endangering the Health of 911 First Responders

Scoring:

For each question you answered B add one point.
For each question you answered A subtract thirty-five points.

What's your Ethical I.Q.?

If your score is a positive number, Congratulations! You have a moral compass!

If your score was in the negative, What a Shame! Your parents should be jailed!

ethics

3,344 views 3 replies

Reply #2 June 11, 2008 4:15 PM from

Stardock Forums Top

Lying under oath? What do you mean? Lying about what? Are you referring to Bill Clinton, and the time he lied about getting a blow-job? Is that the lie that I overlooked?

I think you could put "Lying About...", even "Lying Under Oath About..." in front of any of the "correct" answers, and they would remain as correct.

Bill Clinton made the mistake of respecting Congress, the Constitution, and the Rule of Law enough to show up to answer questions that were nobody's business--them being about him getting his dick sucked by an intern, and not about anything to do with the security or well-being of the nation. Not to mention the questions were coming from people like Newt Gingrich and Larry Craig, who, truth be told, were guilty of much worse personal sins.

Bush, Cheney, and their toadies won't even show up, much less take an oath, and the questions are vitally relevant; Why was so much trust put in such manifestly bad intelligence, who was involved in exposing an undercover CIA operative, how was the invasion of Iraq fucked up so completely? These are real questions, and Bush has lied about them ("Anyone connected will be fired..."). But I guess he hasn't been stupid enough to respect the Constitution, the Congress, and the American people so much that he'd be cornered into actually answering under oath.

Yep, you got me, Bill Clinton lied, under oath no less, about getting his presidential pole polished. And that cost the nation how many trillions of dollars? How many service men and women's lives? How many hurricane victims was Clinton ignoring while getting his dick sucked?

That bastard.

I can only hope that someday the nation can recover from the tragedy of its president lying about getting some head.