Advice for Confrontations

Pacifism is best

from JoeUser Forums

    Here's some advice for all people dealing with any form of bullying or confrontation.

  1. If the other person hurts you, it gives you the high ground. Do not settle it yourself.
  2. Do not directly or indirectly physically or verbally attack an opponent.
  3. You gain an advantage under any civilized authority if you let an attack lie.
  4. A sweet answer turns away wrath, remember this and use it often.
  5. Do not backstab. It's the sneakiest, most effictive, most frowned upon strategy.
  6. Confront a bully face-to-face, stand up to him.
  7. Do not attack a bully, instead merely tell him that you are changing your ways and he will no longer rule you.
  8. This works best in the specific context of being under a civilized authority. If the bully knows his stuff, and isn't just insecure, it can turn back on you.
  9. A bully is insecure, try to help him out of his troubles so he no longer hurts you or others. Do not imply there is anything wrong with him, however.
  10. Always help others if they are harassed, but do not retailate beyond necessary due measure to end the conflict.
advice confrontation bullying help
16,991 views 24 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

If the other person hurts you, it gives you the high ground. Do not settle it yourself.

 

Eh...


Do not directly or indirectly physically or verbally attack an opponent.

 

Try telling that to some people...


You gain an advantage under any civilized authority if you let an attack lie.

 

Eh, not here.

 

A sweet answer turns away wrath, remember this and use it often.

 

Not here.

 

Do not backstab. It's the sneakiest, most effictive, most frowned upon strategy.

 

Confront a bully face-to-face, stand up to him.

Tried it, and it didnt work. More often than naught I ignore them. They're not worth the time.

 

Do not attack a bully, instead merely tell him that you are changing your ways and he will no longer rule you.

Hmm, perhaps.

 

This works best in the specific context of being under a civilized authority. If the bully knows his stuff, and isn't just insecure, it can turn back on you.

 

Yep

 

A bully is insecure, try to help him out of his troubles so he no longer hurts you or others. Do not imply there is anything wrong with him, however.

 

Some people just won't take help.

 

 

Reply #2 from WinCustomize Forums Top
1. There is no high ground or low ground. If someone hurts you..it just hurts.
2. There are times when that is EXACTLY what you have to do (speaking from personal expierence). Pacifism will not always work.
3. True
4. Sweet answers sometimes anger them further. Sometimes its better to use a big stick.
5. True, and it will usually backfire on you.
6. Always.
7. I can't see how that would help anything.

9. Partly true. A bully is insecure, but that does not give him the right to bully! There IS something wrong with him and he needs to know it!
10. True.
Galactic Civilizations III
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

If the other person hurts you, it gives you the high ground. Do not settle it yourself.

You gain an advantage under any civilized authority if you let an attack lie.

Confront a bully face-to-face, stand up to him.

Don't these pretty much contradict each other?

 

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
1. If the other person hurts me, I'm kicking his ass.
2. I'll defend myself or others...I won't outright attack anyone for the hell of it.
3. You get satisfaction from winning a fight that some jerk started with you.
4. Not to a douchebag.
5. I believe in a fair confrontation...backstabbing is lowly and cowardly.
6. Well, duh...though I've never had a bully...so, meh.
7. I prefer to say, "F$&# off!"
8. Heh, heh...no one messes with me if they know what's good for'em.
9. If he acts like a bully to cover up his insecurites...then he can blow me.
10. Picking on the defenseless equals automatic ass kicking in my book or at the very least a verbal teardown. I don't stand for it.

As badass as I sound, I've never had the occasion to fight in my life. If you carry the proper attitude, people will leave you alone. Although it could be that I'm a fairly decent sized guy. :)

~Zoo
Reply #6 from WinCustomize Forums Top
That which does not kill you makes you stronger....;)
Reply #7 from WinCustomize Forums Top
That which does not kill you makes you stronger....


no... it usually gives you a limp
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
That which does not kill you makes you stronger....


Camphylobator didn't kill me, and it sure didn't make me stronger. ;~D
Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top
[quote
A sweet answer turns away wrath, remember this and use it often. [/quote]



.....actually its a 'soft' answer turns away wrath.......God will have yr nuts for misquoting the bible........... :LOL: 


Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Walk Softly But Cary A Big Stick.
Reply #11 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Okay, this whole "vanishing post" schtick has got to stop. :(

In case it doesn't reappear on its own:

As a former bouncer, taxi driver, security consultant, and soldier, I don't recommend these guidelines. No offense to the OP is intended, but they seem to fall firmly into the the realm of "if you never learn karate, nobody will ever attack you" school of thought. As a friend once quoted to me (from where, I know not, and I'm mangling it here): "Peace is not 'not-fighting.' It is different and much more difficult to attain."

I prefer: "There is no overkill, only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'" and "you are never surrounded; you're just in a target-rich environment." Then again, I've rarely suffered social cutting, just as I'm sure the OP has never been in a firefight. You mileage will, most certainly, vary. :)
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
Camphylobator didn't kill me, and it sure didn't make me stronger. ;~D


But it made you wish you were dead. ;)
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top

If you attack back, what happens is that you lose the high ground. This is intended from the level of co-worker, in a peaceful environment, not soldier or bouncer.

Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
If you attack back, what happens is that you lose the high ground. This is intended from the level of co-worker, in a peaceful environment, not soldier or bouncer.


I'm trying to imagine a bully who cares about concepts like, "the higher ground".
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Frankly this reads as the instructions for how to be the perfect door mat.
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
Pacifism will not always work.


This is why I refer to myself, not as a pacifist, but as a "committed non-aggressivist". I will not attack anyone, but if my life or family is threatened, will not hesitate to fight back.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
Here, these will work just as well...

~Convince the bully to do trust falls with you.
~Tell the bully, "mommy says your just jealous of me!"
~Remind the bully that trees and flowers cry when people bully others."
~Pull the thorn from the bully's paw.
~Tell the bully, "I feel your pain."
~Dance around the bully naked singing, "All I am asking, is give peace a chance."
Reply #18 from WinCustomize Forums Top
You should change the title of this post to... Here's some advice for being a candy ass whimp.
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
~Dance around the bully naked singing, "All I am asking, is give peace a chance."


Ted, are you trying to blind the bully?
Reply #20 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Everyone seemed to miss the very frist rule for a situation when one finds their selves being bullied. No matter what age you are. Tell someone. If you are a child, tell an adult, whether a Teacher, Principal or your parents. If you are older, and it does happen, tell someone in authority, like Police.

The road of life is not smooth and straight, if you are going to travel it you better know how to do it safely.

Here's another point, offering up your opinion is far different that providing advice and help. We hear and read peoples opinions everyday, advice or help should only be given when asked for.

Just my personal opinion.  ;) 
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
Here's some advice for being a candy ass whimp.


 :LOL: 

~Zoo
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
Zoo: That made me laugh too.

Erathoniel: As a conservative and presumably a war supporter, how do you reconcile your suggestions here with your belief that the war in Iraq is right and just?
Reply #23 from WinCustomize Forums Top
You should change the title of this post to... Here's some advice for being a candy ass whimp.


:LOL:
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
Jythier:
Ted, are you trying to blind the bully?


These white knees are more powerful than any laser weapon! ;~D