Zoo's W&W Headlines

(By the way, I'll get back on board with my animal features soon.  I had studying and crap get in the way...and I wanted to finish that story.  Rest assured, there will be more)

"2.8 Million Reasons to Run Hard"--headline, Los Angeles Times, Jan. 22

I can think of at least one reason not to- comfort.

"Long Island College Freshmen Find Ways to Adjust"--headline, Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.), Jan. 20

That's what happens when you run hard.  Things get twisted.

Venus Battles Into Quarter-Finals"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 21

Sent Mars home crying like a pansy.

[more]"Fire Destroys Pump That Protects Hamlet"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Jan. 22

Guess he has no choice but to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune now.

"Have You Tried: Milky Way Hot Chocolate"--headline, News Journal (Wilmington, Del.), Jan. 17

Sources say it's out of this world.  (*groan*)

"City: Smelly, Bad Tasting Water OK to Drink"--headline, WXII-TV Web site (Winston-Salem, N.C.), April 11

Uh, you first.

 "Scientists: Big Quake Likely in Calif."--headline, Associated Press, April 15

Well, California does have its faults.

 "Can't Eat Ethanol"--headline, Boston Globe, April 13

Now I'm going to have to cancel my barbecue.

"Antelope Woman Gets Probation for Attack on IRS Worker"--headline, Sacramento Bee, April 9

Even animals hate paying taxes.

"Who Trumps bin Laden as a Cyberthreat? Look in the Mirror"--headline, CNET News, April 8

Hmm...ok.  Oh shit, it's me!

"Report: Vick Not Playing Organized Football in Kansas Prison"--headline, ESPN Web site, April 8

I guess criminals don't like playing by the rules.

"Viggo Mortensen Coming to Oregon Coast to Film Movie"--headline, KGW-TV Web site (Portland), April 10

Oxen, conestoga wagon, musket, food...time to hit the trail.

 "It's Fun to Imagine a Housing Turnaround"--headline, St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times, March 27

Hah!  Then the front yard would be tha backyard...it's crazy!

"UM Professor Lee Badgett Named Second Most Powerful Lesbian Academic"--headline, Daily Collegian (University of Massachusetts), March 26

The fight for power will continue.  There can only be one!

~Zoo